I just feel like screaming and shouting out to everyone of you: "Feast your eyes on Him! Feast your eyes on Him!"
If there is anything in this world that you indulge in, indulge in Guru Maharaj Ji. If there is anything in this world that you deny yourself, never deny yourself Guru Maharaj Ji. That's one thing that we should never deny ourselves. It's all up to us, premies, how much we experience Guru Maharaj Ji. It really is. It's up to each one of us individually how we experience Him and I know for myself, it's only by His Grace that I can experience Guru Maharaj Ji.
And it's the most magnificent feeling I've ever experienced in my life. And this Knowledge - it's this gift of Knowledge that Guru Maharaj Ji reveals within us that enables us to experience Him. I know I'm not the greatest yogi; my meditation is not so concentrated and my service is just very simple and my satsang is just very simple. But I know that this Knowledge is enabling me to know Guru Maharaj Ji, to love Guru Maharaj Ji, and it's just the most incredible experience of my life.
I know there is nothing in this world that could ever possibly hold a shadow to that experience. Sometimes I feel we just close our heart, we become very cold in our heart, and Guru Maharaj Ji is within our heart - each one of us. He is able to be a perfect lover to each one of us if we will let Him.
Sometimes I look at Maharaj Ji and my mind - it's really heavy, very strong. And the first thing that that mind tries to do is try to make me doubt my own experience of Knowledge, my own experience of Guru Maharaj Ji. And Maharaj Ji has done everything for me. He's given me everything beyond what I ever could imagine, and yet that mind can turn around and say, "He doesn't love you. He doesn't care for you. He doesn't love you."
And I'm sitting there and I'm listening to this and I'm going, "Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. I know Maharaj Ji loves me."
And my mind is saying, "He doesn't love you. He doesn't care for you, look at this. Look at this." And it's a very painful experience.
What I have to realize within myself is to just know that Guru Maharaj Ji loves me, because I know, I know He loves me, and I know He loves you as He loves me. It's something that we have to even go beyond knowing, and experience all the time; every day, to hold that experience. Not to have it and then lose it. And then have it and then lose it. But to hold it, to hold on to it, to keep it.
I feel like somehow, someway, I have prayed lifetimes, time immeasurable, to be here in this world in this body right now, and I think probably each one of you have experienced that at some time. And it's like, boy, we just better not blow it. Fake advantage of it. Let our heart explode. Let that heart break open with love for Guru Maharaj Ji. It's very possible and it's very, very easy. We just have to let that mind go, just let it go. Don't let it sit on top of us and deny us the experience of Guru Maharaj Ji.
Last night's program was beautiful, but I felt that when Maharaj Ji first came it was still kind of a feeling of last year. It just seemed like a little, just a little, little remnant of last year - like very stuffy - and we clapped and "Oh yeah, and there's Guru Maharaj Ji, and hello." You know what I mean?
And then slowly it just started melting, and Maharaj Ji was there, and slowly we could just let it go and just yell from praise in our heart and sing His praise, and really mean "Bolie Shri Satgurudev Maharaj Ki Jai."
And really mean it. Because why are we here? Why is He here? Why is He going? Why is He in this world? Believe me, the only reason that Guru Maharaj Ji is in this world is so this love can happen between Perfect Master and devotee.
As He was saying last night, if it were just Guru Maharaj Ji, and not one human being in this world realized Him, then why would He be here? And if it were just us and no Guru Maharaj Ji, what would be our purpose? It just meets. It's just perfect that He's here showering His love on us, and we are here to open our hearts and receive it. I know sometimes I look at Maharaj Ji and I feel, "Why, how, why, why, Guru Maharaj Ji, am I so lucky? Why am I so fortunate?" I feel like sometimes it's just too much to bear.
And then Maharaj Ji looks at me and it's like - just accept it, just accept it. It's true, it's really true, it's real. And the same way for each one of us, because Guru Maharaj Ji is within us and each action, each day that we go through, we can be giving that love feeling, that love of Guru Maharaj Ji in our hearts. I know that once we feel it, just even once, we know that it surpasses any other experience. I feel like we're growing because - I know I've watched darshan lines and I see how we come through, and we just really don't even know how to approach Guru Maharaj Ji.
And it's only by His Grace that we can approach Him. And the more we experience Him within, when we see His physical form, the more that means to us. And sometimes I feel like, "Gee, it's almost getting unbearable," you know. I feel like sometimes our hearts are just ready to break open and it's almost painful. But it's the most beautiful pain we could experience, because it's just growing, it's just deeper and deeper and deeper, and the deeper we go into
Divine Times, August 1977 3
Knowledge, the more we experience, the more we experience Guru Maharaj Ji.
Sometimes we feel like, "Oh, Guru Maharaj Ji, I would do anything for You. I would do anything." We feel so strong. "Just give me any test. I would die for You. I would do anything for You." He could have it where we had to swim a freezing cold ocean and we'd say, "Oh, Maharaj Ji, I would do that for Your Love. I would swim until I could swim no more to come to You. I would climb the highest mountain. I would go in the desert without water. I would do anything for Your Love."
Once we've experienced it, we feel like, "I would do anything." But what does He have us do to experience that Love? He gives us the most precious, most beautiful thing. He gives us satsang. He gives us service. He gives us meditation. He gives us darshan. And aren't all four of those the most beautiful and incredible things we've ever experienced? And what's the reward of that? It's Him. And isn't He on top of it all? Isn't He in the center of it all? Isn't He the treasure inside the treasure?
And even though I say, "Oh, Guru Maharaj Ji, I would do anything for You, I would just do anything for You," I find that the tiniest thing comes my way and I fall, I stumble over it. The tiniest, little test and I completely get into my head about it. It's like Maharaj Ji is just trying to make us strong. Just don't get into it. If we find ourselves falling, just get up right away. Don't go all the way down on the ground and then go, "Oh my gosh, I'm down. I might as well stay here." We stay there for 5 minutes, for 5 hours, for 5 days or whatever. We have to get up immediately, and we have this Holy Name to keep us there.
Because this path is really the only path. I remember when I first received Knowledge, people would say, "How can you say it's the only way?" And I say, "Well, I can't say it's the only way - it's the way for me. But there is this and this and this."
I'll tell you, I don't care what anybody says, it's the only way. It's the only way that is everlasting, that's eternal. All the other ones, they go off and they just go off. They go nowhere.
I feel like Maharaj Ji is very patient with us. He doesn't say, "Look at me. Do you know who I am?" He knows who He is. He knows who He is, and He is just waiting for us to know who He is. He doesn't say, "Look at me, I deserve this, I deserve this. I deserve this."
He deserves everything. He deserves the best. But He never says that. Guru Maharaj Ji is the most humble being on this planet, because there are kings … in this residence that we are staying in here in Italy, there are a lot of books. There are a lot of books about kings and you look through them, and they had houses, they had thrones and crowns and carriages of gold and emeralds and jewels and - you name it. And who were these men? They were nobody. And here's Guru Maharaj Ji, and He accepts anything that we give Him, just out of love.
It's like, I feel that we give Him trinkets and if it's with love, He loves it. He doesn't demand that we give Him real jewels, real gold, real - you know what we call real in this world - because even that's not real if it's just with money. It doesn't mean anything to Him. What means anything to Him is our love. That means everything to Him. It's almost too incredible to believe, that there is really something we can give Him that He really and truly loves, and that's just ourselves, that's just our love.
And we can call it devotion. I feel like we are just starting to know what devotion is. And yet it is the most precious thing we can feel, that true, true feeling of pure love for someone, for someone who is perfect. You can't put your whole faith and your whole trust in your wife, your husband, in your children, in your parents, your lover. Would anyone here just put their whole everything into someone else? I wouldn't.
But I can put, by His Grace - and we all, by His Grace, can put our complete faith and trust in Him. And we must. That's the thing we really must do. We must have impeccable faith, have complete trust in Guru Maharaj Ji. To me, it's what I have been experiencing very, very much. I need to just have complete faith in Him, not one shadow of a doubt. Never doubting Him, and when I'm feeling that, and when I'm feeling that total trust in Guru Maharaj Ji, there is no room for doubt, there is never room for doubt. I need to hold that.
Slowly I find that mind tries to sneak its way in like the thinnest fog, and I don't even notice it. I just kind of feel something happening, and before I know it, I look and I can't see a thing. Everything is completely foggy and it's like, "What happened?"
But I know that by His Grace that's not going to happen anymore, that we can really, really, really hold that experience of completely trusting Him, completely loving Him. This is why we were born. And we have to keep remembering that, because we weren't born to go out and buy ourselves beautiful clothes. We weren't born to take care of ourselves as if we were kings and queens. To me, we were born to serve Guru Maharaj Ji.
Because by serving Guru Maharaj Ji, by surrendering to Guru Maharaj Ji, we experience the experience of our life. I just feel like sometimes I just look at Maharaj Ji and I feel like "Wow. If we could just really recognize You, Guru Maharaj Ji, if we could just really, really adore You, if we could really worship You while we're here, while You're here, the way it is, I feel that we would just kiss the ground You walk on, you know, just fall and kiss the ground that You walk on."
Jai Satchitanand, dear premies.
4 Divine Times, August 1977