prem Rawat

The process of inner learning!

Maharaji / Brussels (Belgium) / December 9 1989 (Morning)
Birthday Programme

(Applause) Thank you. It's always a question when one is standing back there: "What are you going to say? What are you going to talk about?" And to me, there are some certain things that are just always wonderful to express, and they are wonderful to express regardless of how many times they have been expressed. And these things are very simple and yet they are in fact, the very core, the very existence of our lives. Not compli cated, not things that come from people's concepts, that come from somebody sitting down and trying to say, 'I wonder what would be good to tell people of this world.'

Our lives when we
begin to accept—to
accept—not just
question everything,
because we get used to
it, to question
everything. And to these
questions there are no
answers. But these
answers, these
feelings can
only be felt.

Our feelings & fulfilment

Many people—Kabir, Khalil Gibran—so many—have written and expressed a feeling, a love, an understanding that comes from one's own experience. And in our lives when we begin to accept—to accept—not just question everything,

Life Force April - June 1990 37

because we get used to it, to question everything. And to these questions there are no answers. But these answers, these feelings can only be felt. If you asked a question, 'Why is the Creator so kind?' What answer possibly could there be? But if you open your heart, if you open yourself and begin to see, begin to accept—not the why— 'why is the Creator kind?' but if you begin to feel and take in, that the Creator is kind and start to accept that kindness, a whole another door opens up. And in that we have to understand what it means to have a conviction.

What do you want out of
your life? What do I want
from my life? Life is tick-
ing away really fast. No
question about it. In fact,
tomorrow I'll be 32.
When I was 16, the idea
of 32 was impossible to
grasp. That's 16 more
years of your lifee—Life—
And yet you begin to
understand a simple
rhythm, you begin to
understand a simple
feeling, that here I am.
Maybe my Creator has
slowed down the
clock for me, so I can be,
I can exist and I am
capable of doing
so many things.

What do you want out of your life? What do I want from my life? Life is ticking away really fast. No question about it. In fact, tomorrow I'll be 32. When I was 16, the idea of 32 was impossible to grasp. That's 16 more years of your life—Life—And yet you begin to understand a simple rhythm, you begin to understand a simple feeling, that here I am. Maybe my Creator has slowed down the clock for me, so I can be, I can exist and I am capable of doing so many things. All I have to do is look at things, redefine them and bingo, I mean, I really got into it. I got into painting. At first, it was like, "Am I capable of painting?" And then I remembered, there was a time, in the third and the fourth grade when all the girls in the class used to bring me their art work to do. And as a favour, I would do it. Because I was much better than they were. So, they'd say, "Would you, would you do this for me? Would you draw something for me and leave the name out so I can write my name?" No problem. And, when I started, again it was like… I don't know what I am going to paint, but B OOMPH! there it was! No problem, I can do that too. Cooking—I never took cooking

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lessons and I got into it and then all of a sudden there it was, I could create some wonderful dishes. So I am capable of doing so many things. But what do I really want in my life?

The one thing—not
million things—one thing,
that one pivot point
upon which
everything will pivot in
my life—"What do I
want? What do you
want?" It's not a
question of how do you
play the game.

The one thing—not million things one thing, that one pivot point upon which everything will pivot in my life—"What do I want? What do you want?" It's not a question of how do you play the game? It's not a question of what's more important. It's not a question of what does the philosophy say. It is not a question of what does the good books say. Because people in history, have asked this question again and again and again, before somebody sat down and wrote down their experience which then later becomes a Bible; before somebody sits down and writes the book that later becomes a Gita; before anyone of these people who even came about the question still existed, "What is it? What is it all about?" And yet, the answer to this question, where is it? And you know it's so funny because where do we start from? We start from books. The first thing we do is: Okay, I dub myself the seeker of the truth. They're a special breed of people who dub themselves the seekers of truth. And out they go and they read, and they read everything.

I mean, it's like there is this book in America you can buy. And it's for all your household items. It shows you how to fix your plumbing. If you don't know how to fix your plumbing, well you just open this book and it tells you. If you don't know how to fix your car they have a book for that. If you don't know how to play tennis they have a book for that. If you don't know how to play Golf, they have a book for that. They have a book for everything. And so people say, "Well, naturally, if you want to know The answer to The Question—Hey, read a book." Now, I'm not against books. I like books. Once in a while, when I have time, I'll pick a book, see what it is, what needs to be done. But there are certain questions and certain answers that are so different. They are different in nature. And they are feelings. The feelings are the answers. And even though a recipe book may entice you, a smell

Life Force April - June 1990 39

And you know it's so
funny because
where do we start from?
We start from books.
The first thing we do is:
Okay, I dub myself the
seeker of the truth.
They're a special
breed of people
who dub themselves the
seekers of truth.
And out they go and they
read, and they
read everything.

from, in front of a restaurant may make your mouth water, but the satisfaction of hunger will neither be accomplished by smelling the food, nor by looking at it. It has to be eaten. And isn't it amazing? How much should you eat? Nobody can tell you that. How much water should you drink? You don't need to read a book on how much water you need to drink? It's a feeling. And when you are full, you will know. You will know—"I am content." You will know that feeling of contentment.

A child, a little baby does not know the concept of bugging the mother. It is too young for this. When the baby cries, it's not deliberately saying: "Okay, let's see. About now, my mother should be in the kitchen and about now, she is probably really busy. Good time. Good time is it. AH, HA! let's go at it… waannn" (cries)—It does not know the concept. So what happens? Mother definitely says, "Boy." to the baby, "Boy, you have bad timing. Leave me alone. Can't you see I am busy?" And the baby is three rooms away, lying in a crib—"Can't you see I am busy?"—"No! "—In fact it's not that the baby wants to bug you. In fact, it's not that the baby knows your schedule. In fact a very simple thing has taken place. A very very simple and a fundamental thing has taken place. The baby feels discontent, and be cause that baby feels that discontentment not because it understands that people have ears, "and if I make a certain frequency sound, it'll go inside the ear canal and it will vibrate against the drum which will, you know, cause the nerves to go at it in the brain and then the sound will be registered and the sound that I can create is particularly annoying." This is not what's happening. It's very simple. There is a feeling. The diaper is wet, hunger, uncomfortableness. And the baby responds, the baby responds to this feeling and when the baby responds to this feeling, the mother in turn responds to the baby. And it's such a simple thing. It's not complicated. It's such a simple thing!

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How much should you
eat? Nobody can tell you
that. How much water
should you drink? You
don't need to read a book
on how much water
you need to drink?
It's a feeling. And when
you are full,
you will know. You will
know—"I am content."
You will know that feel-
ing of contentment.

Prem Rawat And in the same way, within us there is also a cry. Within us there are these questions and these questions represent not the desire for the answer but these questions represent a need that is not being fulfilled. But so far in my life, I keep taking a look at it that, okay for every question I need an answer, I'll never get 'em. Because the question is in itself a response. Something inside that says, "Feel that contentment." That's the most prevalent one. I cannot shake that. I can shake a lot of concepts: God—you know, from the very young age our parents tell us that there is God and He is looking at you all the time and He is everywhere. So don't do anything naughty. He is there and He is writing everything down on the book.

Everytime you do something naughty, it's registered. And then, when you die you will go up there and the book will be pulled out, and your name and your action will be written on it. And you'll be sent to hell. And you'll burn—without burning you will burn.

And this is like—What a wonderful way of putting it—what is my option?—Do what my mummy and daddy tell me to do, otherwise it's owies for the rest of my life. And if you're going to understand the concept of 'After Death' or whatever—Your soul will be dumped into this river of blood!—YAK—I don't want my soul to be dumped in the river of blood. I don't even want my finger in the river of the blood. And you know, fearful concept—

Life Force April - June 1990 41

Within us there is also a
cry. Within us there
are these questions and
these questions
represent not the desire
for the answer but these
questions represent a
need that is not
being fulfilled.

The question is in itself
a response. Something
inside that says, "Feel
that contentment."
That's the most preva-
lent one. I cannot
shake that.

But sometimes we will forego that. And do something naughty anyway. Like —"Oh, well, you know…" I mean, how convenient, isn't it? We have the rules and we just try to bend them and change them to how we want.

And all the concepts that we create for ourselves that are supposed to create those walls around us that give us "Protection" quote-unquote—we are even willing to forego thee. Something tragic happens in the family. We've heard all our lives, "God you're so kind. God is so nice. God is so wonderful." Something really drastic, dramatic, terrible happens and the first thing we say is, "God, how could you? How could you do this to me? What did I ever do to you? I haven't done anything wrong to you. How could you be doing this to me? How can you be so reckless, Careless?" Even the concept of the almighty being kind we are willing to even forego or let go of that concept. But one thing we cannot let go of, no matter how hard we try, is that thirst within. Because it's with us, whereven we go. It follows us. It haunts us.

The desire for perfection

And perfection—the desire for perfection is in each human being. But I ask you—"Why did the Creator put that strength of perfection in each human being?" So we can become really good at Golf? I mean, is that it? So we can really become good at playing ball? Even seals can do that—really good. They're really good balancers. See them with this huge ball, it's like they don't even try. Boom, they pick that ball right there—that's it!

So why have we been given this tool of perfection? So we can create these incredible monuments to our ownselves? Why? I ask that question and sometimes—perseverance —why do I have perseverance? And I have taken these wonderful tools that have been given to me by my

42 Life Force April - June 1990

That one thing I want to be
committed to.
I don't want to
conceptualize why
I'm here. No.
I want to know. I want
to feel. I want to learn,
I want to learn that,
that feels good.
Because there is a
very remarkable
difference in other
kinds of learning and
the inner
learning. Very big
difference.

Creator and I'm using it for something else.

You know, I have a survival kit, I always carry it, wherever I go. And the amazing thing is I haven't even opened it for a long, long time. The last time it was opened—was about I think, four years ago, when the customs guy wanted to take a look at it, what it was. And I just told him "It's my survival kit." And he zipped it backup. Put it away. There are many things in it. There is a compass. Lots of times, I get to… "Where is this, where is that?"—I know where there is a compass but I don't open it. I don't open the survival kit. Sometimes I'm cold. There is a space blanket in there—made out of thin film, I could use that, it's in there. There is a saw. There is a knife. There are band-aids. There are matches. I never open this. Because I know, if I start monkeying with that survival kit I'll take everything out of it. And the day that I will really need it—and that's what it's for, there'll be nothing in there. So, I leave it alone. Rule No. 1—Do not touch the survival kit. And when the survival situation comes along, there are all the matches, there is the cotton, there is the saw, there is everything that you need. Sometimes, I'll be looking for a 9 volt battery. I know, where there is one. But I'll never take it out of there. Never.

And so in me, is this incredible kit as well, a perfection, perseverance, joy, and all these wonderful tools. And you know, we could be very much like that person who keeps opening up their kit and using up everything inside for everything else and when the day comes, nothing there. Nothing there! Because, I know, I have started to feel that this kit is placed inside of me, that the day that it will start connecting in my little head that there is perfection to be sought, there is contentment to be sought, then that day I will need that perseverance, I will need that devotion in me, I will need that love in me. And I will ponder

Life Force April - June 1990 43

What I'm trying to say here is this. That all learning that we try to do in this world is so related to an outcome. And when there is an acceptable outcome then I can say, "Yes, I've learnt." But the inner learning is very different. Very different.

Prem Rawatand I will think and I will accept. And with all those tools I will open myself further. And that day I will begin to understand. And that's the way it is. That, that one thing I want to be committed to. I don't want to conceptualize why I'm here. No. I want to know. I want to feel. I want to learn, I want to learn that, that feels good. Because there is a very remarkable difference in other kinds of learning and the inner learning. Very big difference.

If you give somebody a tennis racket and you say, "Hit the ball." And they hit the ball and it goes right outside the tennis court—I mean, just one of those beautiful sailing balls you know, just shhhh and you see it go way up and right clear across into oblivion. And the instructor turns to you and says, "You've learnt something." And the student's gonna go, "You're nuts I haven't learnt anything. Teach me, so that I can hit the ball like one of the tennis pros, you know, just spinning at 2,000 r.p.m. and the hairs of the ball just skim the tennis net and it goes sailing. And then just it falls with this incredible force. Hits the other side and takes off. Then I have learnt."

Give the boy a golf club, he hits the ball and the ball doesn't go in the hole, it goes everywhere else. Ends up in the caddie's mouth. And the instructor says, "You have learnt something today."—"No. I haven't. You're nuts. You think that's the hole that I'm supposed to shoot for—the caddie's mouth?" No. It's somewhere out there. "Show me, when I can hit the ball just once and it just goes sailing, you know, with a little curve on it and just lands in that hole. Then you can tell me that

44 Life Force April - June 1990

Why have we been
given this tool of
perfection? Why do I
have perseverance?
And I have taken
these wonderful tools
that have been given to
me by my Creator
and I'm using it for
something else.

I've learnt something."

The process of inner learning

What I'm trying to say here is this. That all learning that we try to do in this world is so related to an outcome. And when there is an acceptable outcome then I can say, "Yes, I've learnt." But the inner learning is very different. Very different.

When I went through the Lear-jets school it was really quite a thing. I mean, I'd never flown Lear-jets. Never. I'd heard a lot of bad things about them. And then I said, "Well, What about all these problems?" They said, "No, that was in the first aeroplanes. The first series of aeroplanes. They were too overpowered. They were too over this. They were too over that. The new series is very safe." Okay. Went in. And it was in fact, 1 had to go on a tour. I wanted to do a tour. And the thing was, "Well, how can we lease an aeroplane to do it?" And it was like—No. And somebody came along and said, "Yeah, but there is one possibility, we could lease a Lear-jet," But I said, "I don't know how to fly one." Said, "Well, we can arrange it for you. You can go to this 'Flight Safety' and you can learn." I only had a week. The course is two weeks. I went in there. To my great surprise the guy walks out one day. I had my licence and everything and he says, "You hold the record. You hold the record for getting type-rated in a Lear jet out here—around here." I said, "What do you mean?" He said, "Well, you did it in a week. It takes two weeks to do it." And then he was like so happy. He was wearing a pin and he took the .pin out and he pinned it on my jacket. So, I'm very proud of it. Well, I was very proud of me too. Because there was this end result. End result. I still have the pin. Actually I got two pins. I got one from him and then the instructor came. And this was the boss man of that particular department. He said, "Welcome to the 51,000' club." And he pinned this pin on me. He says, "Now, you're in the special league of pilots that can fly at 51,000 feet." And he was very happy too. So, all these people are happy and I'm happy. "Wow I got my licence. I was there for one week

Life Force April - June 1990 45

But the inner
learning—it's very
different—backwards.
First, you don't know
anything about it.
Then you start to un-
derstand. Not that you
know. You just
start to understand.
And the first thing you
understand is how
little you know.

and here we go." And it was really amazing. You know, I got my licence, took off and landed in Miami. Next thing you know I went right around the world. And it was a lot of fun.

So far there is an end result in which—Did I—I mean this is the question that I ask myself. If somebody would have sent me in a room and said, "There are the pins and there are certificates and here is a pen and there are blank certificates in there. If you feel you have learnt something, you're welcome to write your name on one of the certificates and take one of the pins. If you feel you haven't learnt anything then you can come out empty." What would have I done at that point? Probably sat down and thought about it. I'm going to say, "Well, have I?" But it's so wonderful when you don't have to do that. Somebody just comes and says, "This is it. You've learnt it." "Ho! I've learnt it!" I mean, you don't even know if you've learnt it. Have I learnt it? I mean, these kids, they give their exams and they look at the newspaper in the college, you know, to see if they've passed or not. "Don't you know?" "No, but somebody will tell me if I do." What kind of learning is that? That's not learning.

But the inner learning—it's very different—backwards. First, you don't know anything about it. Then you start to understand. Not that you know. You just start to understand. And the first thing you understand is how little you know. No pins. No certificates. "You're right." the teacher says, "it's a long ways. No graduation ceremony. It'll take a whole life time."—Drag —"Give it to me now. I want it now, please, you know. Hey, I put in my twenty days, you know. You don't think I'll pass?" Pass? You will pass away! But you still won't get a certificate. You still won't get a pat on your back—"You've done good."—No. And every day, then here's the fearful thing—everyday you learn just a little bit more, you realise how little you know. And everytime you learn a little bit more, you realise how little you know. And that's it. It's like a back-

46 Life Force April - June 1990

wards process.

I mean, after a little
while you get
addicted to this
not-knowing stuff.
And then, you
really start to get
happy when you realise
you really don't know
anything. I mean, it's
like completely
backwards.

And when do you begin to feel good? I mean, after a little while you get addicted to this not-knowing stuff. And then, you really start to get happy when you realise you really don't know anything. I mean, it's like completely backwards. I don't know if you know that your Creator has given you this tool called trust. I know you use it for waiting for buses.

You know, the other day I was watching this comedy. Alitalia plane pulls up. And the pope comes out and he kisses the ground. And all I could say was—"Boy, he really must have not liked those pilots." And everywhere he goes the first thing he has to do is kiss the ground. Bad flying! I mean, I really love the earth. You know, I do. But I fly my own aeroplane, so I guess you're a little bit more confident, you don't have to come down and kiss the ground everytime. But we use it for all these other things. You know, sitting in the back of the aeroplane. You hit the first bump. And the first thing that goes through your head. "Why did I get on this aeroplane? I could have waited." You hit the second bump, "Oh my God! I hope those pilots know what they're doing." Chances are they probably don't. But they're not going to tell you that—"Hello folks, I don't know what's going on. This is your captain speaking." And it's true, I mean, it's like when I came across the Atlantic, we hit an area of turbulence. It was clear air-turbulence. And it was really funny because we had two weather charts. And one weather chart said it was going to be North of a certain space and the other said it was going to be South of a certain space. I said: Well, it's probably right in the middle. And sure enough we hit it. Pretty good turbulence. Only lasted about fifteen minutes. I asked the controller, I said, "We want to go higher." He said, "You can't. There's another aeroplane up there." Lower, I didn't want to go. So, I got on the radio, there is one frequency you can talk to the rest of the aeroplanes and boy, I started letting everybody know there is an area of turbulence around certain, certain place. There were like five, six different pilots,

Life Force April - June 1990 47

When the process of
inner learning is
such that it is
surrounded by
uncertainty and in
the uncertainty there
is pleasure, and joy
and hope then the kind
of tool you need
to survive through
that, to come out
on the other side is
trust.

"Where is it?" "Where is it?" And I started thinking, "Don't they have the same charts as I do?" I mean—"Ladies and gentleman, welcome to this flight we're all new around here. But trust us."

When the process of inner learning is such that it is surrounded by uncertainty and when the process is such that in the uncertainty there is pleasure, and joy, and in the uncertainty there is hope, then the kind of tool you need to survive through that, to come out on the other side is trust. And that's why that Creator in this incredible, beautiful, loving, wisdom gave you the tool called trust. When everything gets dark trust is that little light that comes on and illuminates that path for those people who have very little to go on. And you realise that there is very little to go on.

(To be continued…)

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