Satsangs of Durga Ji - Marolyn Rawat nee Johnson
For the first ten years after her wedding to Prem Rawat in 1974, Marolyn Rawat, then named Durga Ji (a Hindu Goddess) by her husband, regularly inspired her husband's devotees with speeches while she sat at the foot of his throne and told his followers of his divinity, his all-attractiveness, his being the bodily form of the Supreme Power of the Universe, his control of all their lives, and how they should worship his feet and adore his face. She spoke in a breathy, slightly nervous voice, at times she cried. She told stories of her terrible nightmares and fears and her failures in meditation, and her inability to fully realise the "Knowledge" and the Glory of her husband. It was truly, for Prem Rawat, a marriage made in Heaven. Click here to hear one of her more upbeat satsangs.
She also told of his obsession with playing pinball, with stereos, watching television and for an Aston Martin. She told a story about hitch-hikers that highlights Rawat's lack of compassion. In the 1990s one of her husband's close followers, his long-time personal aide Michael Dettmers, claimed she had had at least one affair and wrote about their marriage guidance sessions. In the mid 1990's she suffered a ruptured brain aneurysm and emergency surgery. She appears to remain a devotee of her husband and Master though she stopped speaking on stage 40 years ago.
It does seem that if anyone knew whether Prem Rawat claimed to be the divine incarnation of the present age or not, it would be his wife and mother of their four children. Surely he wouldn't have let her say those terrible things about him publicly for over 8 years if he knew she was mistaken. Hear her heartfelt worship: "You and I are One, one heart loving our Lord"
- In Copenhagen at the Guru Puja '74 on July 4, 1974 she said: "I know there were many times when I used to pray that I could die for our Lord, but now I realise that it's much much more courageous to live for our Lord, no matter what obstacles may come in out path. If each time we give these to Maharaj Ji our love just grows and grows: and this is what this life is for - for our love to grow."
- In the Paramount Theatre, Denver, 12th October, 1974 she said: Even if the rest of the world wonders, what are we doing, this is all just a bunch of baloney, they're crazy, they don't understand what we're doing. But we'll make them understand, we'll show them that we really have something to share with them and bring to them.
- In Toronto, Canada at the Hans Jayanti Festival on 9th November, 1974 she said: "When he does, and when he wakes us up, we're so full of love and happiness. Because we really are in that parade to heaven. Heaven is not when someone dies. Heaven is now. The kingdom of heaven is within us. Guru Maharaj Ji shows us that. And that's the most precious gift that any one of us can receive."
- In Sydney Australia on 26th November, 1974 she said: So now I think the best thing to do is to have everyone come up and have the darshan of Guru Maharaj Ji, to do pranam at his feet, and realize what he's truly giving us in this moment. Because, really, as you go to do pranam you're the most fortunate human being in this world. Thank you.
- In Melbourne Australia on 29th November, 1974 she said: Guru Maharaj Ji is the perfect lover Because he really is our center. He really is us, and we really are him no matter where we go, no matter where we are.
- In Tokyo, Japan on 4th June, 1975 she said: Dear premies, it's really something tonight you know, we were very tired from the trip that we've had to India, and so we went shopping a little today, and we came up to the room and we both fell asleep,
- In Australia on 11th October, 1975 she said: But then Knowledge comes and Knowledge is all powerful, Knowledge is the power that is creating and sustaining this whole universe, this whole creation. … Maharaj Ji's done it. There is no shark following him around. He is satsang, meditation and service and the embodiment of that and he is our example. And Maharaj Ji said it's easy, you can do it" … But what about this meditation? What about the light that we see, not with these eyes? There's nothing really more dazzling than that and it's something that is completely infinite and completely glorious. … "Tomorrow is really a very special day because we can have darshan of our Lord and so I think we should just end right now with one big beautiful song of praise to our Lord.
- In Denver, Colorado on 7th December, 1975 she said: "At the same time, Maharaj Ji's alway's working with each one of us individually, and we experience a lot of very beautiful things within ourselves." … "That's really beautiful, but how many of us really are remembering the Word all day long?" … "Maharaj Ji is always making love - pure love. And when we sit in meditation, premies, we can really make love with Maharaj Ji. We can make love with him, be one with him."
- In Orlando, Florida on 9th December, 1975 she said: "But this love that Guru Maharaj Ji shows us, that is within us, this is something that is always there. And it gets more beautiful, and more beautiful, and more beautiful all the time. It's like he opened the door to our hearts, and it just comes pouring out. It keeps going and going. It's never-ending and ever-giving. It's really just too much to try to talk about."
- In Denver, Colorado on 18th December, 1975 she said: "It's difficult being a mother. It's a very beautiful, beautiful duty that Maharaj Ji's let us experience, but at the same time, it's not really that easy." … "If we are a mother ' true, Maharaj Ji's given us that gift ' but at the same time we've taken that action ourselves."
- In Buenos Aires, Argentina on 7th January, 1976 she said: "And so it's just very perfect that Maharaj Ji is here now in this world. I look at Maharaj Ji and I realize that he has come to this world for us - only for us. He has to go through very many sufferings to be here in this human body, as we all do. But he has really come for us."
- Durga Ji's satsang to the premies in Lima, Peru on 14 January, 1976. She said: "It's so beautiful because today I realised so much that Guru Maharaj Ji saved me, the day I received Knowledge. But, it's not like it stops at that. Guru Maharaj Ji saves us every day, every hour, every minute. He's always saving us, and he always will save us." … "Maharaj Ji's grace never ends; it is the ocean of mercy." … "We tie ourselves to each other and we tie ourselves to Guru Maharaj Ji when we have satsang. And when we meditate, we're really tying ourselves so close to Guru Maharaj Ji. Then when we do service with each other, when we do service for each other, we're tying ourselves again to Maharaj Ji's feet." … "The vibration, by his grace, is so light, and there is so much love."
- Durga Ji speaks to ashram premies in Los Angeles on 11th April, 1976. She said: "and then when we come out of meditation, we feel that this is where we want to be all the time; but then, an hour later (I don't know if it happens to you but it happens to me), I'm just doing something really crazy or I'm thinking about this or getting into that" … "Satsang within ourself is like praying to Guru Maharaj Ji all the time. I'm always having to ask Maharaj Ji to please help me learn what he's trying to teach me, because he's always trying to teach me, he's always trying to teach all of us all the time" … "Maharaj Ji has shown us the treasure that we've come into this world to find, and by his grace, he's allowing us to be able to see this treasure within us" … " To me, Guru Maharaj Ji is that treasure of the treasure"
- In the Rawat Malibu mansion, California on December 10, 1976 she said: I wanted to express my happiness that all of you came, that we're all here, and sharing the darshan of our Lord, because it's an incredible thing to be in this world and to have this Knowledge and to know Guru Maharaj Ji, to see him, to be with him, and to play with him. There are no words to describe it. … to me the most incredible thing is to experience the love of Guru Maharaj Ji, to experience love for our Lord, because he is our Lord. Hopefully, we're experiencing the same thing, and that's beyond words, it's very, very precious, and I feel that in our hearts we all should thank Guru Maharaj Ji very much for everything, but most of all, for himself, because in giving us himself he's given us everything.
- In Atlantic City, New Jersey on December 18, 1976 she said: 'Maharaj Ji, all I want to do really is just sing your praises. All I want to do is just praise you.' And he said, 'That can't be done; no one can ever sing my praises.' And when he said that, I realised it, I knew it. I knew what he was saying: no matter how we try to praise Guru Maharaj Ji, we cannot. He's beyond all our praise; he's too magnificent to begin to praise, and yet we have to, we must - it feels so good. It's our need to praise him, to thank him. And where do we even begin to thank him?
- In Miami on July 30th, 1977 at the Guru Puju festival she said "Sometimes I look at Guru Maharaj Ji and I feel like, 'Oh, Guru Maharaj Ji, please, please, please' … "Guru Maharaj Ji is the most beautiful dancer. He wrote the dance. He wrote the music. He wrote the whole script. He made the dance floor and he's asked each one of us personally, individually, to dance with him." … "Some people look at Guru Maharaj Ji and they say, 'I would never bow down to him. I don't care what you people do, but I won't kiss his feet; I won't bow to him.' And what we've experienced: 'Oh Maharaj Ji, that's all I want to do.'" … "Guru Maharaj Ji is that force, that power, that perfection. And Guru Maharaj Ji is also that power in a form, in person. And I have no idea, I will never, actually I will never be able to see his glory." … "Maharaj Ji has gifted us so much. He gives us our third eye to see his form within. He gives us external eyes to see his form on this Earth." … "I feel like Guru Maharaj Ji is so powerful and so attractive to human beings in this world in this day, in this age ' it will be impossible not to light this whole world."
- In Miami Beach on Sunday, April 9th, 1978 at the Holi festival she said "And he's giving us this incredible experience of satsang. I mean, he's been giving it to us all day. Just allowing us to completely empty ourselves, so that we can be filled up with his Truth, with satsang." … "And Guru Maharaj Ji has infinite supply." … "Because we would be realising that Guru Maharaj Ji is giving us our very life, our very breath. And yet, isn't Guru Maharaj Ji giving us our very life, our very breath, at this very moment? At every single breath we take? This is how close we are to Guru Maharaj Ji." … "And this is just what we have to realise: like Maharaj Ji said, going beyond just knowing it, but actually realising it, seeing the real reality of this life, and just knowing that that Giver and that Sustainer of our life is the embodiment of mercy, is the embodiment of kindness, is the embodiment of Love, is the embodiment of Grace, is the embodiment of Truth, is Guru Maharaj Ji. Our Father. Our Lord."
- At the Shower of Grace Festival in Malibu, June 10, 1978, she said "Maharaj Ji said: For me, what's Knowledge? For me, what is Knowledge? Guru Maharaj Ji is everything, Guru Maharaj Ji is everything!"
- In the USA on November 10th, 1978 at the Hans Jayanti festival in front of 20,000 people she said "Pranam Guru Maharaj Ji! Pranam to your beautiful lotus Feet." … "Guru Maharaj Ji was giving satsang to the initiators and he said, "No-one ever refuses to accept the breath that I give." … "That thing in me that is mind always doubts Guru Maharaj Ji, no matter what he's saying. And it's so painful. It is so painful." … "And while we have this body, for however long we have it, it's our chance, our most precious beautiful chance - to know him, to love him, to experience him, to serve him. To adore his face. To worship his feet."
- The same speech was published in the Irish DLM magazine "Affinity" where it was titled Please Break My Heart' and attributed as being given at the Hans Jayanti Festival in Orlando, Saturday llth October, 1978 and in the Divine Times magazine of January/February, 1979.
- In London on June 24th, 1979 at the Guru Puja festival she said "One time in Malibu, Maharaj Ji said, "If I just had a handful, if I just had a handful of premies who were really dedicated, who really had faith in me, I could spread this Knowledge. I could spread this Knowledge so fast. If I just had a handful." … "And yet I see Guru Maharaj Ji's perfect. And everything he does is perfect. And everything he does for us is perfect. But we miss it if we're not right there." … "The other night Guru Maharaj Ji said, "There's nothing that gets me more than a premie with ego. I can't stand to see a premie with his ego, just feeding his ego. He's got to be feeding his ego every five minutes." … "And my Guru Maharaj Ji has taken a form to save me. And each one of us, this is the marvel, this is the marvel for each one of us it's like that. Guru Maharaj Ji is perfect for each one of us. Guru Maharaj Ji has come for each one of us. Guru Maharaj Ji is Lord for each one of us."
Click here to go the beginning of the list of the available transcripts of her speeches.