Jonathon Cainer, Premie and Astrologer

the 'Free Jonathan Cainer Personal Horoscope'. This Cainer is the astrologer who in 1997 regaled Mail readers with a month-long account of his visit to the Far East, where he consulted 'the distant guardian of an ancient prophecy' about the significance of the Hale-Bopp Comet. 'I wanted to find out how closely it ties in with what I know about the dawning of the Age of Aquarius, and how this in turn links up with the end of the Mayan calendar,' he reported. 'I can now inform you that these three ancient prophecies agree with each other to an amazing extent … Hale-Bopp is a truly global herald …' The Mail carried all this twaddle with pride. Yet not long before, in its guise as the voice of robust common sense, it had ridiculed the Heaven's Gate disciples who committed mass suicide in San Diego as 'freaks'. Their 'bizarre gospel' - that salvation could be found in Hale-Bopp - was derived from a dangerous 'obsession with the stars which was a throwback to thousands of years ago'. Er, quite.

Jonathan's daughter Jemima Cainer said: "Considering the state of my father's health, any use of cocaine no matter how 'small' would be excessive. "Levels of cocaine which would indicate recreational use in an otherwise healthy person are not comparable to my father's long term history of drug use or heart condition."