Maharaji at Hans Jayanti: All Night Long: November 10, 1979

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that there is only a very, very simple thing that is keeping us committed to Guru Maharaj Ji, and Guru Maharaj Ji being committed to us. There isn't much. It's a very fine line. It's a very fine thread. And to break that thread takes nothing, to break that little wire, to break that little connection takes nothing - just a little bit overstretched and "pow!" - that's it. It's broken. And anything can break us. Maybe it's our concepts. Maybe it's just our mind that'll break it. Maybe it's all of us that'll break it. But it can be broken.

It was really a beautiful experience, for me, anyway, to have that procession. And it was a dinky little chariot. Belonged to some circus. A little elephant used to pull it. A little pony or something. I don't know what premies did to it, but they cleaned it and they decorated it and they did everything to it. And then premies are the ones who pulled it around. And it was a very beautiful experience - I hope anyway - a very beautiful experience for them to be able to do it.

And yet I could see that it could have all become a concept. It could have all been "something." That premie who was pulling that chariot could have stopped right in the middle of it and said, "I am to the stage of realization - I must be, because I am pulling Guru Maharaj Ji's chariot. I am better than any one of these premies because I am pulling Guru Maharaj Ji's chariot" - stopped and walked out. As simple as that. Mind's justification to walk out: "I'm better. I'm better than this; I'm better than that."

It's like last night. Everybody started going at the emcee. "Boo," you know. All those things. As soon as I heard it, I turned around and said, "What's going on out there?"

Because, I remember, the last time the initiators were the ones who started it. "Boo! Eee! Ah!" And the premies followed - sometimes - as usual.

You have to understand. He's not your premie. He's not a premie that you can say, "Oh, you did a terrible job. Don't get up there and say anything." He has a service to do, whatever it is. You can't "outcast" the poor guy just because of what he does. His service involves telling you all these crazy things. Don't get involved in-those crazy things and he would have nothing to say to you. Live here forever. He wouldn't tell you about bus information, about your tickets - it's you.

You're the ones who get involved in it. If he didn't tell you, it's "Oh my God, this is terrible …" You'd be slapped both ways. If he didn't say a word about ticket information, where you can find the bus, where you can find the food, it would be a madhouse, because everybody would be saying, "What do these guys do? Sitting on the stage and they don't even tell us where to get our tickets, where we can register, where we can do this, where we can do that."

But that's irrelevant. The most important thing is for us to realize which mistake can break us, which mistake possibly we can make that will break us. Now, I don't say that that mistake can break us - booing. But that booing can slowly turn. I've seen it. And that liberty of mind … it's just little by little - it's like termites. Little by little by little it turns. And all of a sudden you find yourself booing somebody that you would never dream of booing. All of a sudden, you find yourself not recognizing somebody that you would have never dreamed that you could ever forget.

Now don't get serious about it. That's not the way it's going to start: because you booed yesterday, this is the next trauma that's going to happen. (But then again, who is there to say it won't happen?)

You know, to me, it's not all these things, all our involvements - whatever it took to put up this stage, whatever it takes to change the colors on this chair, whatever it takes for me to put on a suit. It's been hard to try to "color-coordinate," so to say. I just can't get into it. To me, whatever suit feels comfortable, slap it on. Slap a tie on, get out there. That's it. Because even this tie is really a strange tie. It takes three times at least to tie this tie because on the top it's different than on the bottom, so you have to tie it perfectly, otherwise one part will be hanging down here.

And it's incredible. Because that's not where the bliss is. I wear a hat every time I come here. I sort of pick up the hat and I put it on and I drive over here. And I started doing it at nighttime, too. So tonight, before I was ready to come here, I started looking for my hat. "Where is it? Where is it? Where is it?" And there it was sitting right next to the big video screen from here. And I picked it up and I put it down.

Because to me, it wasn't the hat that was going to bring any experience. And it wasn't sunny outside. Why should I bring it? And I left it there. And to me, it was like, how simple it is to get involved in something. How simple it is to take a step that'll lead you off the cliff, that'll walk you right off the cliff. Which philosophy is it that can take us down? What thing is it that can really ruin it? What thing is it that can really take away the experience of Guru Maharaj Ji?

And all that doesn't have to manifest in our life. Mind doesn't have to manifest in our life. We don't have to walk off the cliff in our life. We don't have to do any of those things. We don't even have to be a part of those things.

Because what Guru Maharaj Ji offers is a simple solution to the experience - the only solution to the experience: sur-

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render, have faith. Have that faith in Guru Maharaj Ji so that you can trust Guru Maharaj Ji. Because the tendency of the mind - if you can just imagine the mind being this great wind - you're standing out in the middle of this incredible, huge, gigantic field and this monstrous wind starts blowing. And you feel it. You feel that this wind is going to take you away, this wind is going to shatter you. What can you do? What do you need at that moment?

Oh, of course it would be wonderful if the wind just stopped blowing. It'd be wonderful if the mind just stopped. But what you need at that moment is something to hang on to. And faith in Guru Maharaj Ji, trust in Guru Maharaj Ji, is the very pole to which you can cling and be saved. Having trust in Guru Maharaj Ji, having faith in Guru Maharaj Ji, to me, proved every time to be this wench that could pull me out. Faith in Guru Maharaj Ji, to me, is - if I keep walking into the sand pile, the faith is the wench, this link between me and Guru Maharaj Ji, which can pull me out.

Because if I lose faith in Guru Maharaj Ji, then truly I have lost faith in myself. And if I lose faith in myself, how can I even go on? How can I even continue?

First of all, in one sense, you might say it's different for me. Because Shri Maharaj Ji was my father and I saw him since the very day I was born. My whole life was right next to premies. Premies are the ones who played with me. Premies are the ones who fed me. I very distinctly remember premies are the ones who clothed me. Premies are the ones who drove me to school. Premies are the ones who brought me back from school. Premies are the ones who used to bring lunch there.

And I was constantly with premies. Yet you have to understand. Yes, there can be my outlook and there was my outlook that, "Guru Maharaj Ji. There's Guru Maharaj Ji. There's Shri Maharaj Ji. There is …" But the most important thing at that time to me was that he was my father. And in the process of receiving Knowledge, in the process of everything happening - in my own curiosity … because it was in a moment when I was given Knowledge, you might say. There he was one day. We were just playing, doing our thing, and he called us all and said, "Do you guys want Knowledge?"

"Sure, we want Knowledge." And in the middle of this session - I mean, the session didn't take very long at all. It was very quick - in the middle he said, "Well, do you know how to do meditation?"

And I said, "Yeah, I know how to do meditation." And he said, "How?"

And I sat down and he laughed and said, "Yeah, but there is more to it than just sitting in a posture."

But then to even have the practice of Knowledge a reality … and then to accept Guru Maharaj Ji as Guru Maharaj Ji. Because it isn't that day, "Okay, today, Guru Maharaj Ji, you have given me Knowledge." So many premies came today, or have been coming actually throughout the entire darshan line, for the four days that it's been going on, and they want Holy Breath.

I guess Holy Breath signifies that you have been accepted as a devotee. And some premies come with their right hand over their right ear for Holy Breath. And some premies put their left hand over their left ear for Holy Breath. Initiators do a terrible job of explaining it to them, which ear or how to do it.

And I remember this one lady was coming through darshan and she was holding her left ear to receive Holy Breath. And so this initiator saw this, and he lifted her right hand to her right ear, so she walked through the darshan line looking for Holy Breath with her hands behind both ears. "Either one, Guru Maharaj Ji."

Great. Fantastic. Sure. Sometimes when the premies do come with the wrong ear, I just aim for the right ear. That's the best I can do. Because I don't want to talk and say, "Hey, you have your hand over the wrong ear."

But that is a significance that signifies something. Fine. That means that Guru Maharaj Ji has opened his door to us. That means that Guru Maharaj Ji has now offered himself to us. But there still remains a small problem. And this problem is that now we have to open ourselves to Guru Maharaj Ji and we have to offer ourselves to Guru Maharaj Ji.

If you want to make a mixture and you want to put sugar in it and you want to put flour in it and you want to put milk in it, you want to bake it all at once. You can't take the sugar and put it in a bowl and stick it in the oven and bake it for twenty minutes. You cannot take the flour and stick it in the oven and bake it for twenty minutes and you cannot take the milk and stick it in the oven and bake it for twenty minutes and hope that what's going to come out is what you were

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looking for. Can that happen? It's not the matter of baking. Baking is only one of the processes involved. Cooking is only one of the processes involved.

You cannot take a camera, point it at me, and then take a whole roll of film and expose it in the open. Because that is not going to take that impression. Exposing it is only one part of it. But it has to be completely done in a way through which it can truly be exposed, through which it truly can have a picture on it.

And that's the way I feel that, for us, to come through darshan line - okay, who offers who what in a darshan line? To me, I have to go back to the drawing board as far as these chairs are concerned. Because they can be uncomfortable, in the combination of every air bag in this chair having to be literally correct and perfect before it feels comfortable. Because every one of these little things is actually an air chamber. And underneath the air chamber, there is a mold of my body, of my back. And it has to be all correct. Otherwise it's very uncomfortable. And sitting in a darshan line for three or four hours really twists my back around, really gets my back going after a little while. It just really starts hurting.

But I know, besides that experience, there is also a very wonderful experience that's manifesting, and I'd rather stay with that experience than with my back, until it gets to the point of being unbearable or something.

But when a darshan line happens, when Guru Maharaj Ji is there and when every premie is given an opportunity -who gives that opportunity for the premies to come? Is it, "Oh, Guru Maharaj Ji, here I am. Look at me"? Do we give Guru Maharaj Ji the opportunity to see us? Is that what the darshan line is all about?

Or does Guru Maharaj Ji give us an opportunity to see him, to experience him?

And yet, what happens? I mean, we do two people a second sometimes. It really starts flying. And everybody is having their experience. Everybody is having their own beautiful experience in whichever way and yet who is giving you that experience? We have to understand that. Who is giving us that experience? Is it us? Is it all our effort that we have to put out all this year long? Where is our effort? Where is all that supposed effort we've been putting out this whole year? Where is it? What is there to account for all the effort that we have put in? None.

You tell me. What have you done today? What have you done this whole year long? As a matter of fact, it's really nothing. It's so minute; it's so insignificant. And yet, the Hans Jayanti, I feel, is more blissful this year than it was last year. I feel that the experience is really powerful.

And yet is that because of our merits, because we did something that brought that on?

I remember when I first came to England. I very distinctly remember that. That was my first time. And I was sitting in this airplane. Had a first class ticket. But you see, in India they don't have anything called "first class." It's all one big slum. Sit anywhere you feel like. That's it.

And I went to the back of the airplane and I sat down and I remember that to me time didn't exist or anything. It was just like, I was sitting there. I didn't move the whole flight long. I just didn't feel like it. Finally I had to ask the stewardess where the bathroom was. Anyway, I just sat there. It wasn't like, "Oh, when are we going to get there? How much more time?" I didn't even look at my watch. It was just sitting there and sitting there. And it was beautiful because, again, it was a manifestation really of surrender. In one sense, my heart was completely filled with joy to come, to be flying.

I had no idea what anything looked like. And I got into Heathrow Airport and I walked through and all these premies were there. At that time they weren't even premies. I remember there are some pictures of a mahatma holding these big programs. One premie on one side, he in the middle, another premie on the other side, and a little table with a picture on it, in a park. That was big! You know, he and a premie and an aspirant, perhaps. And the guy who was taking the picture.

It was incredible. I landed at Heathrow Airport and they had this limousine for me, all decorated with flowers and

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everything. And I got inside of it and we were driving and there was this premie who was sitting right next to me going, "Oh, look at all the features this car has, the middle windshield, the divider goes up and down, and the windows are all electric, and …" And the only thing I could relate to was a white car in India that I had. In that, the rear tailgate went up and down electrically, too. And it was like, "Oh, they must have just taken that whole mechanism and put it in the middle of this car and on every window. That's why it goes up and down electrically."

And then they took us to this residence. And it was really all set up; it was all beautiful. It was, I guess, pretty high class for England. Extremely high class for England, I suppose.

For me, I was still wearing my Indian sandals, ready to go. And all this was there. This place was three stories high. It was one of those "squeezed buildings" in England. The famous ones. You walk down a whole block and it's just exactly one door and three windows, right down for a mile. That's all you see. Seems like there was a time when all these buildings were really beautiful and big and really nice. And then somebody just took the whole of London and just squeezed it and it all slammed together.

There you're literally everybody's neighbor. Just open your window and say "Hi" to the other guy on the third floor. And I even remember this fascination with color television. I couldn't believe it. I couldn't even believe this color television. "How can there be color on this television? What are they doing?"

And it was all this glamor. That's all it was, it was glamor. Because I was tired and I went to sleep and I woke up and I said, "I would like to go for a ride. Where's the limousine?"

And they said, "Oh, it was only rented for a few hours. It's gone back."

And I said, "Okay. So do you have any car for me?" And there was this little two-door compact which belonged to this premie. And it was beautiful. It was much more beautiful than that gigantic drum because she had an experience when she was driving me around, and I had a beautiful experience because she was having a beautiful experience, even though the thing kept overheating every so many miles. I remember trying to go to Leicester and the thing overheated and we pulled over.

And a few days later, all these premies came up to me and said, "Oh, Guru Maharaj Ji, we have found another place, more beautiful than this." And it was just a little way to lure me out of that place because that was also rented for a few days. I don't know if we had another place or we went through a transition - but anyway I very distinctly remember ending up in this one little house with the train tracks going right across the bedroom, almost. Or very close to it. That was the little amphitheater, you might say. The house on one side, a little bitty garden, and then the rise for the train tracks.

And it was simple. It was beautiful. It was incredible. Because it wasn't glamor. That was the experience the premies wanted to give their Guru Maharaj Ji.

And yet did Guru Maharaj Ji enjoy that experience? What truly I could enjoy was sitting out there giving satsang, waiting for the train to go by. (No, but it would.) Because in question and answer sessions sometimes the guy could barely ask the question and the train would come and I would have to wait to give him the answer. After the train went by, I could give him the answer.

But in our little ideas, we try to give Guru Maharaj Ji an experience. Like, "Oh yes, Guru Maharaj Ji. Here I am. Look at me. I'm this premie." And yet we have to really realize that Guru Maharaj Ji is even giving us an experience of being a premie, of letting us be a premie, of becoming a premie.

First becoming an aspirant. To me, enjoy it while you're an aspirant. Really enjoy it while you're an aspirant. Because then it's your right to ask questions. You can ask any questions you feel like. Then it's your right. You can ask anything you want to.

After you receive Knowledge, the lines get drawn up very fast. Just enjoy it. Because here is the path towards Guru Maharaj Ji. Here is a path you can take, just every day. There's only one thing that you can long for: the experience that Guru Maharaj Ji reveals in that Knowledge. And then enjoy being a premie. Enjoy being an aspirant, and then enjoy being a premie.

It doesn't matter about questions. It doesn't matter about confusions. It doesn't matter about concepts. Look, those things are coming and going. That's an idiosyncrasy. We live in this world. How can we avoid it? It rains: it rains. What do you do? If it rains, do we all pack up our bags and leave? That's it? Finished? Done and over with? No. That's just ust a thing that we have to bear.

Because there is something - the experience is more wonderful. And if we are caught up in the rain, then yes, "Oh, my God, I got to split. I can't get wet. I can't be wet. I'm

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going to get a cold. I'm going to get all these things." You end up with a cold anyway, but you also lost the experience of satsang.

And just to be a premie … that's all.

And almost the same thing happened when I flew from England all the way to Los Angeles - London to Los Angeles on a straight-pipe flight. All the way across with this thing humming and buzzing and doing all that. And the same exact thing happened to me again! I had a first-class ticket and still didn't know that a first class existed. So I went all the way in the back. And I arrived and there were a few premies there. And this one premie had his father's car waiting at the airport. Driving down some Los Angeles freeway to go to that house.

And there were press reporters there. There were all these things. And then, this car was there. And then finally we were in this one house that belonged to this fellow. I guess he didn't care about Knowledge so much at all, I don't think. The things he used to do, I don't think he cared about Knowledge at all.

And there was this house. I guess it was a big, glamorous house. And again, to me, now I can see it, I can feel it. It was out of love and I couldn't refuse it. And yet truly to say the experience I had in that dinky little ashram at Alta Loma Terrace, overlooking everybody's back and front yard … seemed like ninety degrees at that time, but literally a forty-five degree angle for the driveway. And it wasn't even a driveway. You parked your car and took the elevator or walked up. Finally you'd get smart enough to go in such a way so that you take the elevator to get to the house, and then if you wanted to go down, have the car brought all the way to the end of the walkway.

And it wasn't glamorous. It was an ashram. And we had to ask the premies if we could just move. I had to ask the premies if I could just move into the ashram. Because that place was terrible. It wasn't so nice. It didn't have a window, or it had one window but it was only two feet away from the cliff. (The things that were going on there weren't so nice, either.) I said, "What about an ashram?"

The premies weren't allowed to stay there for too long. "Oh yeah, Guru Maharaj Ji. Why don't you be comfortable?" And sometimes it is like that. "Here I am, this premie, Maharaj Ji. Look at me! Look how good I am now. Look how professional."

There is a thing, I guess, called being a professional premie. "A professional premie." And then an amateur premie. You're professional when you know all the strings, back and forth. You know all the things to do: how to do arti, how to take charanamrit, when to do arti, when to have charanamrit. Become professional. Become good at it. "Been doing it for years and years and years and know all the terminologies. Bog prashad and everything." Know all the famous Hindi songs. Can talk half in Hindi; talk half in English. Can say "Jai Satchitanand" without an accent. Can say "satsang" without an accent.

But no. We have to be what we are. If you simulate or if you try to become somebody else, then how is Guru Maharaj Ji going to work on you? If you get half-strung in between? None of all that. Don't try to say, don't try to think, that everything you do is your experience. Because it isn't. That experience is given to you. That experience is offered to you by Guru Maharaj Ji's Grace. Accept it. Don't reject it. Accept it.

And the thing is, to accept it you have to become a beggar. Because everything has to be put in the proper perspective. And then Guru Maharaj Ji automatically becomes the giver and you become the taker, the receiver, the recipient. And if you want more, you have to ask for it. But these are the more sophisticated terminologies. The simple terminology, which explains it better, is perhaps: you are the beggar, Guru Maharaj Ji is the giver. You beg for it and Guru Maharaj Ji gives it to you.

Beggar to Guru Maharaj Ji - not to this world, not to the mind, not to the maya, not to the sophistication of everything. But a beggar to Guru Maharaj Ji - to beg Guru Maharaj Ji truly from the heart. Every time I begged Guru Maharaj Ji, my Guru Maharaj Ji, to help me, to save me, to protect me - that's it. I don't sit there in front of my thali every night and say, "Oh, Guru Maharaj Ji, I offer this food to you."

I know it's not worth it. Why should I give Guru Maharaj Ji that food? Sometimes it doesn't taste so good. Sometimes it constipates you or there's too much salt in one thing or too much chili in the other. Too hot, too cold, chapati not done right, or whatever.

But I mean my prayer to Guru Maharaj Ji always is, "Oh, Guru Maharaj Ji, you are all-powerful, you are all-merciful. Save me. By your mercy, save me. Give me that help that I need in my life."

We think that we can help ourselves. "Effort." Every single initiator except one, I think, that has given satsang, has mentioned the word "effort." And what is effort? How do we make it? What is our effort?

What we are is this spring that wants to stand up straight, this thing that wants to stand straight up. And Guru Maharaj Ji says, "No, don't let it stand straight up, bend it down." We are this eucalyptus tree, you might say, that wants to constantly stand up and the wind wants to push it down.

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The reason why the wind pushes that tree down - there are other scientific reasons for it apparently, the pressure of the wind on the tree, the velocity of the wind and the pressure is greater than what the tree can stand and therefore it bends down - but to me, the wind is blowing. That's a fact. And the wind forces that tree to bend down for the tree's own benefit. Because if that tree did not bend down, it could break. But in that elasticity, it finds its survival. It finds it can live. For those branches that get brittle, for those branches that get hard, they break because when it comes time to give, they can't. They crack, snap, and drop off.

We are like this brittle tree. And Guru Maharaj Ji says -by his satsang, by his love, by his Knowledge, he puts life into us. We are this dead tree. And we're not a dead tree. We are just a plant like any other human being or like any other devotee. To me, every one of you here has that potential to be Hanuman, every one of you here has a potential to be Arjun, every one of you has a potential to become the perfect devotee. Every single one. This is how incredible it is. It isn't just for the guy sitting right next to you. No, every single one.

Because we are all born as that plant. If we draw the Grace and mercy of Guru Maharaj Ji from the soil, if in this world we see only Guru Maharaj Ji, then we always stay as this tree that is limp, that is flexible, that can grow. But when we, through our roots that are embedded into this world, start drawing this maya - this illusion, the anger, the ego, the false - then we grow brittle. Because we die. We cannot survive. We cannot enjoy.

And when that big strong wind really blows, we are so brittle that we crack and we fall and we tumble and we die. That's it. We cannot accept that in our life.

Perhaps if we just were to let Guru Maharaj Ji do his thing,we would be so many more steps ahead. And Guru Maharaj Ji says, "No, give! Give. Don't resist. Don't fight. Just give. Just surrender. Surrender to me. Come to me. Have faith in me. Embed yourself in that soil of faith. And if you do, then there is nothing that'll be able to rip out your roots. There'll be nothing that'll be able to rip you, to part you away.

When we lose faith even for a moment, when we lose faith even for a second, it is literal chaos for us in our lives, whether we realize it or not.

What was it? What was it for that one devotee? Because a question arose in his head. He said, "Well, I have been going to sat-sang for literally all my life and what I find is a thorn in my foot. And my friend has been every single day spending his time indulging in maya. And what does he find? Almost a half a pot of gold. What kind of justice is this?"

If he would have had faith in Guru Maharaj Ji, that would not have arisen. It would have been out of the question. "Oh, Guru Maharaj Ji, what is gold to me? You are there." He would have never left Guru Maharaj Ji. He would have not even for a moment ever conceived that he should not go to Guru Maharaj Ji, to see Guru Maharaj Ji.

And yet he did, because he did not have the root of faith. And it was a mistake that was made that was irretrievable. You could not go back in time and reprimand that mistake. It was done. The mistake was made and it was terrible.

And yet what did it take for him to go to Guru Maharaj Ji? Perhaps it was out of his curiosity or his whatever - devotion. But he did not have faith. And for that moment that he did not have faith, neither could he be called a devotee nor was he a devotee. Nor could he enjoy devotion, nor did he have Guru Maharaj Ji's Grace. He was nothing. He was just another being who was not human. He was just another person who wasn't going to get anything out of it. He was just

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another person who had come into this world, who was born in this world, who was alive in this world, and who fell prey to this world and was devoured by this world.

I feel that there are two things inside of us. One is what loves Guru Maharaj Ji. One is what loves Knowledge. One is, even in other people, what loves God - who do not know Guru Maharaj Ji or who do not know Truth. They love God. They love their Allah, they love their Buddha, they love their Bhagwan, they love their Ishwar. Whatever. Different things.

It is that within inside of them that inspires them for that. The Creator - to find, to search, to realize that Creator, to be connected to that Creator.

And then there is another thing in this body, you might say, that has an urge for maya, for illusion, for pleasures. Doesn't matter how short they are, doesn't matter how long they are, doesn't matter how big they are, what they do. Even if it's the slightest little pleasure, something inside of us wants to pursue it. Even if it's fear. People watch all these horror movies. Then they're scared all night long. Then they can't go to sleep all night long and there's something they enjoy in that - however these little pleasures happen. Your teeth are crooked so you go to a doctor to have them straightened so you can smile for somebody, show your teeth, and they won't look so horrible.

I don't know. Just the thousands of things … we have our hair cut so we will look good for somebody and then we can enjoy something. "Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy. Pleasure, pleasure, pleasure." It seems to be the only thing.

In Houston, they have a place where you can get ice cream. But the place is so hot that if you go get an ice cream, it'll just melt. So first of all, you have a desire in you to get something that you can enjoy. So you go to the place to buy something that you can enjoy, that you can eat, that you can fulfill yourself with - an ice cream cone. You have bought it. Now it's in your hand, but you can't truly enjoy it because it'll melt. Your enjoyment of that ice cream will be only a couple of licks. After the couple of licks it'll be only a milk shake and a soggy piece of biscuit left in your hand - sticky, gooey, whatever.

So to enhance your pleasure, to enhance your enjoyment, to give you your money's worth, you can sit down at this one table which has air conditioning ducts coming out of it, out in the open, and you can hold your ice cream there and it'll keep your ice cream nice and cold while you're licking.

What haven't we done for our enjoyments? What don't we do for our pleasures? And yet - what is this body? This body is just something that gets sandwiched in between those two things. This body comes from these elements and then joins these elements back again. There is nothing left of this physical body. After a little while, the first thing is, I guess, our eyes collapse. Our skin starts to deteriorate. Slowly and slowly all the hairs fall out. All the internal things dry up. Your guts dry up; your brains dry up, clot up - all the blood in them. Slowly, since there's no life, everything just deteriorates and those elements - fire to fire, air to air, ether to ether - all those elements go back to wherever they came from. All those elements just disappear back into -that's what this body is made out of.

And yet still, for some reason, out of those two things only one thing remains. Now that's the incredible thing. That's what's so incredible. Yes, there are three factors. One is one thing within inside of us that wants to merge, that wants to enjoy truly one thing and one thing only, and that's the Truth. Then there is another thing inside of us which is, I guess, the dark side or the opposite side of that very thing and wants to enjoy the illusion - what's not real, what's fake. And in between those things is the body. And when the body goes, when the body fades away, when the body is no more, this other thing disappears and only one thing is left. And this one thing is that thing that wants to merge with the Truth.

So you have to call this other thing just a little vacuum that is really nonexistent. Because its purpose in this world … You might call it the physical soul of the physical body. Because its purpose is to have this body enjoy this world. And if truly that's the only purpose, then what is the reason for the other thing that wants to enjoy Guru Maharaj Ji, that

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wants to enjoy the love, that wants to enjoy the Truth, that wants to enjoy bliss, and that's the only thing that satisfies it?

Among those same three things there is an imbalance created, because the third thing is existing. And there is an imbalance created. When we can subdue that third thing and only two things are left and that is our physical body and that thing that desires that bliss, the true bliss, the Truth - then the purpose of this being is fulfilled, is accomplished. Then I can live for something. Not to live to live. Then it isn't as simple or doesn't remain the same thing as "Eat, drink and be merry." Then I am not …

One saint said that the people who are completely into their children, keep having child after child after child, and even when they die they cannot satisfy that quest - they become pigs in the next lifetime. And then I guess pigs have children after children. I mean they keep multiplying and keep multiplying and keep multiplying. And there it is.

But the essence of this life is definitely not to enjoy misery. And what does Guru Maharaj Ji offer us? Guru Maharaj Ji offers us the path that's completely away from the misery. Guru Maharaj Ji offers us a solution through which we may disregard the misery and only enjoy the true bliss. Very simply. Very, very simply.

It's like Daya. Sometimes when she wants me to come somewhere, she will hold my hand and pull me. Because she, in her little way, understands that there has to be that physical contact through which she can explain herself. Drag me to the point where she wants me.

And that's the same thing. What is our contact with Guru Maharaj Ji? What do we do? Guru Maharaj Ji gives us the experience of satsang. Guru Maharaj Ji gives us the experience of darshan. Guru Maharaj Ji gives us the experience of arti. Guru Maharaj Ji gives us the experience of meditation. Guru Maharaj Ji gives us the experience of service. If Guru Maharaj J 1 weren't there, what would you define as service? What would be your service? What would you do for service? If Guru Maharaj Ji weren't there, then what would you do for satsang? If Guru Maharaj Ji weren't there, what would you do for darshan? If Guru Maharaj Ji weren't there, what would you do for anything?

And yet Guru Maharaj Ji - because Guru Maharaj Ji wants to take us to a place which there is no description of. We do not know what that place is. Nothing is existent. To us it's not even existent. Then we have to let Guru Maharaj Ji hold our hand. Because if I deny Duie for that moment the chance to hold my hand, she will not be able to take me where she wants me to go.

And sometimes what she does is really beautiful, because when I say, "Do you want something?" like, "Do you want a rice cake?" she says yes. She shakes her head yes. But then the next thing she does is just throws her arms open for me to pick her up and take her where the rice cake is and give it to her.

And I feel that's exactly what has to manifest for us, too. When Guru Maharaj Ji says, "Do you want an experience?" - the first thing we have to say is, "Yes." And the next thing we have to do is we have to throw our arms up to Guru Maharaj Ji so Guru Maharaj Ji can take us to where that experience really is. To what, in essence, Guru Maharaj Ji wants to take us to; in reality, where Guru Maharaj Ji wants to put us.

But we say, "Yes, yes, yes, I want that experience. Oh, Guru Maharaj Ji, give me that experience." And Guru Maharaj Ji says, "Come on. Come to the place where I can give you the experience," and you say, "No. I don't want to come.

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Sometimes that's the fight between you and Guru Maharaj Ji. And even at that, that's not the fight between you and Guru Maharaj Ji, that's the fight between you and your mind. Because for Guru Maharaj Ji to become a bystander takes nothing. In a moment he can remove himself from your life. In a moment he can remove himself completely. And then you are the one that would have to suffer for the rest of your life.

Remember. This is the thing. That's the reason why that devotee said, "Oh, Guru Maharaj Ji, to me there is only one of you, but to you there are thousands of me." And what does that mean? Is he making a statement? Is he just making a blab, bland statement? No. That's his request. And there he has his request in.

There is another saint that says, "I was being washed down the river, with this society, with this maya, with this concept and everything. And then I found my Satguru, I found my Guru Maharaj Ji, who gave me the lamp of Light. And by giving me the lamp of Light, by giving me the Grace, by giving me that, even though this process was of this internal life, this complete life, and even more and beyond that -so many births I would have to take to even be able to fulfill one aspect of it."

Truly look at it. For this Knowledge, how many births will it take before we should be able to successfully complete the aspirant program? Forget about being a premie or coming to satsang, listening to satsang, doing service, meditation. How many births would it take before successfully we will be able to complete, just alone, the aspirant program? Because it's never enough.

And yet Guru Maharaj Ji, in that one second, can complete that aspirant program. In one second Guru Maharaj Ji could kick that one person beyond the three worlds. That's incredible. What did it take him? That little guy - the shoemaker, the cobbler - could have absolutely refused to do the job right. Because if lie would have, perhaps Shri Maharaj Ji would have also kicked him beyond the three worlds and he would have been again the luckiest person.

And once Guru Maharaj Ji would have kicked him beyond the three worlds, then he could have fixed Guru Maharaj Ji's shoe properly, even made him a new pair of shoes.

But in that Grace, to pick us, to pick a devotee, to give that experience to a devotee, is incredible. How lucky we are! It's really something else. And all we have to do is raise our hands, let Guru Maharaj Ji hold us, carry us to the experience in which he wants us. How simple can it be made beyond that point? It's better than an elevator, because in an elevator you have to press the button. Not only do you have to wait for it, but you have to press the button. And sometimes in that waiting, that can be the beginning and the end of your life. But as simple, as simple as it's been made, all we have to do is stretch our arms towards Guru Maharaj Ji and sincerely from our heart ask Guru Maharaj Ji to take us to that experience, to surrender to Guru Maharaj Ji, to have that faith in Guru Maharaj Ji, to have that trust in Guru Maharaj Ji.

And then everything will be true, everything will be a reality, everything will be that beauty, manifesting for us inside of us.

There are a few premies leaving tomorrow. (Seven.) And for those premies, my blessings to you, and really put in motion what you have heard in this program. That's all I can say. If you can do that much, that's fine. That's good; that's incredible. If you can just put into reality what you have heard. And I guess all of you are staying tomorrow. (Are you or are you not?)

I don't know, but I guess even beyond that there's going to be around eight thousand premies here. And I don't know what's going to happen because I don't want to say the program will continue or not continue or discontinue or will not continue. I don't know. Just play it by ear, play it by the feeling. See what happens.

So premies, that little effort that we have to make: let's make it. Let's not keep waiting and waiting and waiting.

So tonight, I guess that's true. I definitely said to tell the premies to expect "all night long." But … but, but, but, but … there seems to be a very interesting thing. I was told that the definition of "all night long" is until midnight. That's "all night long." Well, of course, it is, technically. All your watches will go to tomorrow after twelve o'clock. It'll be tomorrow morning as a matter of fact, not tomorrow night.

And most of the problem beyond that point is that most of you are very sleepy. (Don't shake your heads. You're literally falling asleep there.)

What we should design on this stage, up on top of the canopy, are some water guns. And when I feel like the premies are getting a little too sleepy, have a button right here that I can press, have a little automatic aiming device with a little joy stick, aim it at that premie, and when that premie's face appears on a little television with a cross on it, hit the button. And pow! A nice, thick, cold, ice cube stream

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will flow at that premie and wake him up.

But the problem is most of you are very sleepy-looking. No.

Don't tell me no. All of you are almost asleep out there. I know why, too. Because it must have been the procession. Got you all tired. The preparations for it all and

So premies, you should just go back to sleep now, I guess, with all that … You can … I don't know if you will even be able to take it all night long. Do you think you will be able to take it?

If you think you will be able to take it, then you don't know at all if you will be able to take it or not. What is your definition of "all night long," anyway? Four o'clock in the morning? Three o'clock in the morning? Two o'clock in the morning? One o'clock in the morning?

The incredible thing is, this can't be all night long. Because by the time the procession finished and by the time I came out here, it was already night. And so I wasn't here at the very beginning of the night. So it can't be all night long. So I guess we'll just shoot for tomorrow night.

No.

You don't want to be all night long tomorrow - oh no, that's right. You guys have to go back after tomorrow.

No.

Boy, that's incredible, how many unemployed premies there are, huh? All the initiators are definitely unemployed. No, maybe … would you like a coffee break?

No.

To wake you up a little bit; so you wouldn't feel so sleepy? Would you like some tea? All the English premies are saying they don't want any tea?

We want you.

Well I'm already sitting here. What do you want me to do, come out there?

Yes!

If I come out there, there'll be nothing left of me! Plus nobody will be able to see me because all the premies will get up wherever I am, and then nobody will be able to see me. And then there will be no place for doing anything - dancing or anything like that.

I mean, it's dark out there where you guys are. It's nice and lit up here. Nice and bright, full of Light. Why should I leave nice and bright Light to come into the darkness?

…All the different explanations. One guy wants to bring the sun out. Well, if it's your idea, why don't you go do it? The sun is out. It's just on the other side. Just take a real fast airplane there and it'll be out.

But anyway that's the whole reason. So that you wouldn't be in darkness. That's why I'm sitting in Light. I'm not talking about these lights, you know. I guess there's lights out there. They're shining on the premies and …

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But you don't want any tea? You don't want any coffee? Yogurt? Bananas? Apples? Sandwiches? Cold pizza? Warm cola? Molasses? Straight molasses, all over your hair. I don't know. You don't want all those things to wake up and you're still very sleepy. It's those comfortable chairs. Are those chairs comfortable?

No.

Then why are you sitting on them?

Well anyway, you can sit on them. If you feel like sitting on them, sit on them. Well if we do want to start whatever wants to start - I don't even know what you want to start. The music? Would you like music to start?

No.

Wrap up, guys. You can go back. You don't want any music?

No!

How about fireworks?

Yeah-No.

Yeah, you almost bought that one, didn't you? Well, then fireworks it's going to be.

No!

Well, you wanted them. You were the ones who said yes. Yes, you said yes. Don't tell me you didn't say yes.

We just want you, Maharaj Ji.

Not a moment ago, you didn't. You wanted the fireworks. I guess I should just go back and you can watch the fireworks. You want me to stay here like this? You want me to really stay here like this? With a suit, jacket, and tie?

We don't know anything.

This guy here says he doesn't know anything. You want me to stay here?

Yes!

Like this? How many want me to stay here like this? And how many of you want me to go change? (cheers) You don't even know into what! Another suit.

Well, one theory has been proven right here. Every premie has his own ideas and concepts. Some want me to stay here like this. Some want me to go back and change. This guy doesn't know what's going on. You don't want the band; you do want the band.

Would you like to hear some announcements?

No!

Well, I was going to tell you a few things, but you don't want to hear any announcements. Too bad.

You guys are really smart, aren't you? You know everything that's going on. You have it all figured out.

So for all those premies that want me to stay here like this, what are you going to do if I leave to get changed? You don't know, huh? That's all I can hear up here is a big mumble-jumble.

Should we have some more satsang? (Where is the list of the initiators that haven't given satsang yet?) So you don't want satsang …

Yes.

You want satsang?

Yes!

All the initiators who haven't given satsang yet, raise your hands.

That one hasn't given satsang yet. And you want it to be all night long! That's the perfect combination! It'll be something, all night long. That's for sure. How many of you want it all night long?

Yes!

Then what about tomorrow? All day long?

Yes!

Well you can only have day or night. You can't have them both together.

A perfect trap, huh. Weave it yourself. You walk into it yourself, get trapped yourself, and get involved in it yourself. Some of you want satsang, some of you don't want sat-sang…

… Slowly and slowly, a few of the premies are starting to say, "Guru Maharaj Ji, do what you want." And that's the way it has to be. Here's your practical example. Hear it from the horse's mouth itself. You are all the horses. All the different ideas and concepts that you have, and yet you have to leave it to Guru Maharaj Ji, right?

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Yes!

Okay premies. Good-night.

No!

You just left it up to me. You have no say over it anymore.

How about watching the fireworks? How does this sound to you: you watch the fireworks and I'll go change. (cheers) But then I won't be able to watch the fireworks. And definitely that premie who got the fireworks didn't get them for you. He could care less if you watched them or got burnt by them.

So I guess, I'll go there. I'll watch the fireworks and … and then I'll change and … and then I will … go to sleep. You can't quite sleep in a suit.

No, then I'll come out then I'll come out - I'll change and then I'll come out.

Yeah, you're starting to get a little smarter now: "Where?" Because I was going to say outside my trailer. Take a deep, fresh breath of air and go back in and go to sleep!

Here, I guess. Right behind this backdrop.

No.

You don't want me to come behind the backdrop? How can I come on the stage if I don't come behind the backdrop? That's the way in. You want me to go behind the backdrop?

Yes.

If I come behind the backdrop, I might not come out here.

Anyway, you just watch what happens and become a part of it. That's all you can do anyway. This is just to wake you up, in case you were sleepy. I don't care. I mean if I don't feel like coming here I won't. And if I feel like coming here I will. It is not anything like that that will influence me.

So, watch what happens. Listen to some fancy music. Would you like to listen to some fancy music? Yeah? Finally you'll take music too, like music huh? Would you like to hear the Jester band?

No.

And you just started! Holi band? One Foundation? How about all the initiators? They can get up and sing, like a choir. A queer, strange choir it would be. Everybody taking off in their own direction.

You sing, Maharaj Ji.

Oh, I can't sing at all. I have a cough. I don't know what keys are and notes are and …

Okay premies, so I guess we will have some music. The best thing is, why don't you all sing? To each other.

So, let's just see what happens. Are you all awake yet? Are you going to go off to sleep again?

No.

Are you sure?

Yes.

N0000. One little dull moment and there you will be, snoring away.

If I left and they didn't play any music, turned off all the lights, there'd be a low vibration coming from this place of everybody snoring. Till it gets to the point where everybody would start waking up, because they wouldn't be able to stand all the snoring going on. And then go back to sleep.

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And that'll go on all night. That's "all night long!" How about sleeping all night long? How about meditating all night long? Listen, you know …

How about service all night long?

No.

You don't want to do satsang, don't want to do service and don't want to do meditation. How do you expect to get all blissed out?

You.

So how about darshan?

Yes!

But no satsang, service and meditation: no darshan.

What kind of a darshan would you like? In the tunnel? We can take the chair out, put a great big video there and you can all go through the tunnel. Okay, so I can sit here and you can go through the tunnel. The darshan of the tunnel is what you want, right?

Okay premies, so … I guess I should just go on back now.

No.

Why not?

We love you.

Well, I love you too, but I mean, you guys are going to get up in a few days and leave.

No!

Yes you are. Okay premies …

Good "all-night-longs." Enjoy yourself out here. I mean, that's what you wanted, is "all-night-long." Where is that initiator? There he is. He can sing "All Night Long."

No.

And I don't know what you wanted to do all night long. I haven't the faintest, I guess.

Whatever you feel like doing all night long, you can do it. Sit here … you want to dance?

Yes!

You have my permission to go right ahead and dance! I am leaving.

Okay, so I guess I'll go see what's going to happen all night long. You sit here and get warmed up - I mean you should sit or stand, whatever you feel like, I mean … bathrooms. It's been almost two hours now. And … are you guys hungry?

No!

You're not hungry at all? For anything?

Shouts of "for you" and "yes."

For bananas? Yogurt? Cold, stale sandwiches? Salad?

Okay premies, so I guess I'll go see what's going to happen all night long. You guys have some good music planned here? Holy Chester band, Jester band, whatever. Our "three- piece- suit" here. Go at it, kids.

No, no, it's okay. You don't have to sit down or anything. This is just to tell you one simple thing. If you intend to stay up all night long, you better try harder. Seems like back and forth between the confusion of songs, you tend to keep falling asleep.

See, it's really incredible tonight. And it's really beautiful. Because everywhere there is fog except where all the premies are. And we have to keep that fog away. So you better warm up, not just sit there and clap your hands, but really try to go at it.

Sometimes it seems I'm the only one who's dancing. Okay, Mahatma Ji. Go at it.

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"But in that Grace, to pick us, to pick a devotee, to give that experience to a devotee is incredible. How lucky we are! It's really something else. And all we have to do is raise our hands, let Guru Maharaj Ji hold us, carry us to the experience in which he wants us. How simple can it be made beyond that point?"

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