Where do we get lost?
Guru Puja, Tucson Arizona, 15th July 1978

That experience of darshan which we had today was there before we were even born. And just when we were born, at that time, we were too little to conceive, were too little to see. Then we get born, and then we come into this world. And we grow and grow and grow and grow. You look at Wadi or you look at Hansi or you look at Daya, and there is such a difference between those three children, those three babies.

And by Guru Maharaj Ji's Grace it was such a beautiful experience to have Dayalata. And it was such a miracle, really, that happened. It was an incredible thing. And you just look at Daya, and she's pure, she has no expectations. It's not that it's her desire to have milk. It is not her desire. It is not her will. It is her need, her necessity. And so when she feels that necessity, she expresses it.

Then you look at Hansi. And Hansi was like that. (And as a matter of fact he's sitting right there.) And Hansi was completely like that and Wadi was really big, and Hansi was the little boy. And then there was Navi. And it's such a change happens. Because now Hansi is not like that anymore. Hansi wants something, he wants something. And he has a very "boy" connotation to it. When he wants something, he has to have that thing; otherwise everybody's had it. And he gets into it. He gets into his whole thing.

He likes helicopters. Just before we came, it was just such a thing, because Hansi had a fever. That's the day we came. And he had chills and he was shaking and he had a fever. We had to leave and come here and it was like, wow! There was a lot happening.

And we were in Malibu still, and Hansi was really sick, and he had been throwing up. And he was really, really sick. And all of a sudden, Marolyn just mentioned to him, "Hansi, we're going to go in a helicopter!" And he just got up and he went (twirling his fingers), "chu-chu-chu-chu-chu," you know, started fading his fingers around. And he got all: "Helicopter! Airplane!" And then he got sick again.

But you look at it. There has been that apparent change. Because with Dayalata, her first ride was in a helicopter. And she definitely doesn't get up and go, "chu-chu-chu-chu-chu." To her, there is no concept.

And then you look at Wadi. She got so blissed out. She really wanted this "Wonder Woman" costume. And some premies made her this "Wonder Woman" costume, a very good one, and so we got the costume for her. And she looked at the costume and she got so blissed out and she was saying, "You know, I've always wanted a costume like this. I'm so happy I have it now!" And she put it on and she goes, "Wonder Woman!" And she goes through this whole thing.

And then you look at Navi. And when I came out of the darshan line, she wanted me to hold her. And she can't talk, but she just says, "No." Or something like that. So she points at me and then goes (raises arms), "What's the matter with you? Why don't you hold me?" So I held her. I was holding her.

And I had just come off the stage and I just wanted to change and come over here. And I said, "Navi, why don't you let your mama hold you?" She said, "No." And then she would get very happy with the fact that I was holding her, and she wouldn't go to Raja Ji and she wouldn't go to Claudia, and she wouldn't go to anybody! And it happens like this. (It happened this morning, too!)

But you look at the difference. And there is a specific difference. Because Navi's need, Navi's desires, Navi's will is very limited. In what she sees the pleasure - momentarily in what she sees the pleasure, is where she is going to go. But that's what she wants. That's it. She doesn't have to have the concept of helicopters. "Oh yeah, it's going to be so fantastic…"

You can talk to Hansi, and you can just tell him about helicopters and all this and he gets "Oh yeah, and tomorrow, helicopter? And airplane? And premies?" And he gets into it. And with Wadi you can have a perfectly normal, quite sophisticated conversation with her for hours. But it's just completely incredible, because to Hansi, he…

I mean, it's just one step, one step, one step. To Navi, you can tell her about helicopters, that doesn't mean anything. You show her a helicopter, and that means something, because she sees a joy, a momentary joy right there, and she will go for it.

With Hansi, he sees the momentary joy and he established his joy in helicopters, he established his joy in airplanes, he established his joy. He knows that by seeing a helicopter flying…He will be crying, just completely out there, just crying. And you say, "Hansi, you want to go see a helicopter fly?" And he goes, "Okay." And it's just like, he's established. And you can go back to it any time you want.

And yet, it has not completely permanentized to him. It's not the permanent thing in his life. Because whenever the helicopter starts to take off…we have all these three or four model helicopters for him. As soon as they start to take off, he just splits. He's just doing something else. He could care less about it flying, really. But he knows. He'll hold it and he will make the thing go around and around. And as soon as the engine starts, he'll jump in somebody's lap. And he is just coming to that age, like Wadi is.

And Wadi is completely there. I don't know what her I.Q. must be. It must be phenomenal. Because you tell her a story once, and you tell her that same story and if you make any deviations in the second story, she will point it out to you and say, "You are confused." And so her desires are very specific. And she has a will. She wishes things: "Oh, I wish…"

And then, right after that ("Wonder Woman" costume), the second day, we turned on "Isis" for her on the TV. And she takes one look at Isis and goes, "Oh, I wish I could have that costume." And it's just like her desires are becoming more apparent.

Hansi's desires are there, and he is not specific about them as to: is it just limited in helicopters? Because Wadi's desires are from dollies to "Wonder Woman" to "Isis" to "Bat Woman," to all these things. But Hansi is very fixed. And Navi is just at the point where when she'll see something that looks nice, she'll go for it.

And Daya is at a complete stage where she has nothing.

But look at us! Okay? That's only somebody who is from three to almost a month old, not even a month old. And here's a wonderful situation. Because here are babies: one's about three, and one's not even a month old yet. And there is a complete variation, variation, variation, variation.

But what about us? How much variation is in us from the tranquil state of Dayalata to us being 21, 48, 50, 60, whatever, how ever old you are? What has happened to us? What happens to us? Why is there a reason to be saved? Why should we be saved? What happens? Why do we need to be found again. Why? Where do we get lost? And what happens?

And it's just like that mind takes over. Because Daya right now will be satisfied. And she will be satisfied under some con- dition. And she doesn't really have that desire. And it's okay. If she feels a stomach pain, she will express it, and that'll be maybe the same way as if she's hungry. And very soon there will be an apparent difference between hunger and a pain in the stomach. Then it'll go from pain in the stomach to hunger to diaper being wet. And then it'll just


keep on coming, keep on coming, keep on coming, keep on coming until she's going to be like Wadi, too!

Maybe she'll have her own options. Maybe instead of "Wonder Woman," she'll be into something else, and she will have her own variation. And yet, what happened?

Where do we go wrong in our own lives, that we get completely lost?

And to me, okay, that's a fascinating question. That's an incredible question. But premies, look at it this way. "Where did we go wrong?" That's another story. What we have to now find out is: how do we go right again? Who finds us? And who is that finder? Who is that guru? Who is that Perfect Master? Who is that person who is going to take us out from the darkness and put us into light? Who's the one who's going to take us away from that mind, from that monster, from that vacuum, and put us into a place where it is total fulfillment every second of our lives?