GURU MAHARAJ JI 11/4/78 KISSIMMEE

So dear premies, here we are, to celebrate Hans Jayanti. The program hasn't even started yet, so goodbye! We have come here from 56 countries -- all over the world, that is -- to understand something. You know, this is just the first day of the pre-festival. Tomorrow the festival really begins. And sitting here, all I can see is just a very little area of premies, unless I go like this (shading his eyes) to block off these lights. Then I can see the premies all the way to the bleachers. (It reminds me of the Poconos: a few premies there.)

And okay, satsang hasn't officially begun yet. All this isn't supposed to be happening. There is supposed to be only a bunch of premies doing service at the main stage: ten, twenty, fifteen premies here and there, just having satsang.

And yet I don't feel any different than I felt giving satsang in Hans Jayanti Rome! Or I don't think I'm going to feel any different tomorrow. Because satsang is satsang.

You see, there are so many circumstances that evolve around us all the time. There's things constantly happening to us. And we, in this life, always try to be the same. That's why the whole trip is, "Oh yeah, why don't you become tough?" Little kids are always taught by the parents, "Come on, let's rough-house a little bit. You've got to learn this, son. You've got to learn that. When you grow up, you've got to be tough. You've got to be strong to be able to withstand this world!"

And in our lives, I don't know how many things happen that just literally have that capacity to change this world for us. Instead of looking at this world as, "Everything is okay. Everything is fine," it can change in one moment to, "Man, I could care less about this world." But sometimes that doesn't happen to us. Sometimes that doesn't manifest. It's just a very simple thing. We always stay the same: "Yeah, okay. That was just a bad scene. That was just a bad thing that happened to us."

You can see Hansi is crying. You can probably hear him. And a little thing happens here and he cries. And same thing with Wadi. And same thing with Daya. And yet I don't seem to be able to recall that I ever cried that much! And yet I know that I must have thrown myself on the ground and cried for hours. All that. And at that time, it must have been like, "That's it!"

That's how children are sometimes. In their stubborness they just go, "Well, if I can't have that toy. I'm not going to eat." They really mean that. It's not a joke. They really, really, really mean that. Or sometimes when they're being teased, they throw themselves, they really want to hurt themselves.

And yet that's the way our lives are. And we live it. And it's just like trying to make a boat that can withstand any kind of a wave. This world is an ocean and we want a boat. We want a boat that can tug right through waves, tug right through everything, and we don't even feel it. Wouldn't we all want our lives to be so that we don't feel any sadness, that we don't feel …

To get rid of sadness, you might be willing to trade happiness. Be in a neutral state. That's okay! Because the end of happiness brings us sadness. And the beginning of sadness takes away happiness. And the end of sadness brings happiness. And then all of a sudden, for a person who's very sad, "Okay, what would you like? What do you want? You have one wish." Change the story from three wishes, to you have one wish. What do you want?

But that's the way we all feel: "Yeah, man. I want to be happy. I want to feel good. I want to be. Be."

And you know, I remember this. Because, as a matter of fact, I used to think about it so much that I still remember it. I would always hear these stories about three wishes: Where ends had to meet in the story, where you couldn't quite make two parts meet, you put a little fairy there, a little angel. And it always came and gave him three wishes and that's how he could get anything he wanted in his life.

And I used to think about that. "Wow. What if somebody came up and said, 'Yes, you have three wishes.' What would I ask for?" They even used to have a show on television about this angel. When all your good deeds would pile up this angel would appear. And nobody would, of course, believe this angel. And he would say, "Yes, you can have a wish." And da-da-da-dada. And everybody would wish for these stupid things.

And it was mostly those jokes where you wish one thing and you find out that that's wrong, so you have to wish that that goes away, and then … And you end up with no wishes after all.

I always used to think, "What would I wish if something like that ever happened?" And I finally came to the conclusion, the best thing to ask -- this is, you have to understand, coming from a very "story" point of view -- it would be like: candy, a boat, or a car? And in that term it was so obvious that, no! If I have candy, I'll eat it up. Then what'll happen? And maybe if I ask for a whole lifetime of candy, I wouldn't like it. Same thing with car, same thing with boat, same thing with everything.

I would wish, if that ever happened -- and this was when I was very small (I still am very small, but this is when I was very, very small) -- I would wish that I would always have wishes like this for the rest of my life.

Because I came to the conclusion that if I wished one thing and that was the end of it, then there would be no fun! What if I wanted something more? But if I wished that I could always have whatever I wished, then there would be no end to it. It would be like having the fairy godmother in your pocket! You just pull her out and say, "I want that!" And bam! That happens!

And in our lives, this is the question. We get these wishes. "Go camping. That'll make you happy. Relax. That'll make you happy. Go to a sunny resort. That'll make you happy. If you are sick, get well. That will make you happy." And all these wishes. And yet, what kind of a wish can we really wish that'll give us everything? Everything we need?

And when it comes down to it, we can pray, we can wish -- if you would even want to call it a wish -- for what? I mean, yes, you could wish for Knowledge. And then you could have Knowledge. But what would happen after that? Barn! You'd be like a lot of premies out there who have Knowledge, but don't practice it! Yes, they wanted Knowledge. Their wish came true. Now they have Knowledge. But they don't feel anything.

And you could wish that you had a lot of . So what? It'd be like the cartoon of the coyote who always keeps making a boo-boo, and always ends up in the canyon. And they have this whistle. As he is going down the canyon, just before that "thump!" noise and a little cloud happens, you stop. No thump happens. Whistle stops and you don't hit the ground. Only the front of your shoe does.

But if you wish for the key, then you could open up any door in this world. If you wished the wish …

You see, I'll give an example. And I think this story was recently told by one of the initiators. There was a farmer. And he went to this huge festival that was happening. And the king was so generous that on this occasion he said, "Okay, everybody can come into this festival in my town, in my village, from my country. And the thing is that they can have one thing from whatever they see, whatever they like."

A lot of people were coming in. They would see a nice thing, a spade. And they would pick up a part of it. And everybody was picking up whatever they wanted. A wish!

And this farmer saw these two very beautiful oxen, strong and healthy. He said, "Well, this is it! I'll just take one of these oxen along."

But he said, "What am I going to do with one? I want two! I'd like two oxen. Because I've got a lot of farm land, and there's a lot of farming to be done, and one wouldn't be sufficient."

Then he looked at the plow. And he said, "My God, look at that plow! That's the most beautiful plow I've ever seen!" And he was completely amazed. What could he wish? What could he want? What would he pick out? What would he touch? The plow? The oxen? I mean, without the plow, the oxen aren't any good. What is he going to do with them? And without the oxen, the plow isn't good. He can't possibly pull it. Checkmate.

And isn't it the same way in our lives, that we always end up in checkmate? (The imagination of the Creator is outrageous! I mean, it's outrageous!)

And so this farmer was very smart. Unfortunately, he was smarter than some of us. Fortunate for him, unfortunate for us. Because we can envy him.

So he looked around and he thought and he thought and he thought. "What can I do to get both of these things?" He looked and he looked and he looked and he saw that the king was sitting down watching his whole festival happening and enjoying it. And a thought occurred to his mind. He went over to the king and grabbed him by his feet.

And all of a sudden, the security from both sides came jumping out, hopping out. "Let go! Let go! What's going on? What are you guys doing? What are you doing?"

The king said, "Let go! What are you doing?" (Now you guys in the front, you make sure that doesn't happen here!)

And the king said, "What are you doing?" And he said, "Well, I want you. Anything …

(You guys won't let them through. Okay?) And it was that simple.

And the king said, "But of course you can't have me. I am the king. Of course you can't have me." (Now this is an example. Don't take it seriously. Just grab the gist. Just grab the meaning of the example. That's what's going to do you any good.) Then the king realized, "Man! He owns me! He's got me! I belong to him!"And the king said, "Well, you can have anything you want if you just let me go."

And the guy said. "Okay. I'd like those pair of oxen. I'd like my plow." He saw a few other things he'd like. He said. "I like that and that and that and that too!" Took off with it!

Now, you have to imagine such a smart person being present in that whole festival. All these farmers are there and he's the only farmer that manages to get all these things free. So he's got to be smart. Right? What does it make the other people who are there? Very dumb! Because they couldn't figure that out. It was as simple as that.

But in our lives isn't that the scene? Isn't that the situation? Isn't that the story, that we seek our happiness in all these different things? We seek our happiness in … you name it! "Okay, yeah. This would be good and this would be good."

Of course, you must have heard the incident about the fire in Malibu. "The fire in Malibu." I bet that one even burnt up the grapevine. The guys couldn't talk fast enough.

And, yeah, there was a fire in Malibu. It was incredible. There was all this smoke and all these ashes started coming over to the residence. I was going to go out, and so I got all dressed up and I was going to go out into town. And all of a sudden, man, it was really gusty and it was dry and there was this huge cloud hanging over.

And I said, "Forget about it! I'm not going anywhere. What is this? What's going on?" And then I finally took a little walk and figured out that, well, okay, this fire is really coming this way.

And before all this had even happened, before somebody even went out there and started the fire or something like that, this neighbor of ours was telling one of the premies in the residence, "Oh man, it'll be just fantastic if the fire comes and burns off all these bushes! Because for approximately 40 years these bushes have not been burnt. These are very, very bad. And if the fire would come, it would burn all these bushes out and it would be just nice and clean. And then it can have a fresh start and that would be much safer."

And boy, I guess her godmother was listening. It came! And there were people who were standing on the street who saw the residence, and the flames come up from all sides of the hill and just engulf the residence. And it was like, "Oh my God! The Guru's house just burnt down! Oh my God!"

And there was this one guy who was watching and watching. And he was almost shocked that that had happened. He wasn't a premie. And he couldn't believe that the house could just go poof in smoke. Because he couldn't see anything. Just black smoke coming out. And he was really shocked when the wind blew the smoke a little bit and there it was! Nothing had happened to it. There was this whole residence standing.

I mean, you just think about it. Think about the fire. I've been so blissed out around here, just thinking about the festival and seeing the premies and everything. Forget about the fire. But there was a fire, and I saw it. I saw that fire roaring down the hill, and I … You know, I'd been telling Marolyn, "Marolyn, I think we better leave!"

She said, "Oh yeah, I'll get this together, and I'll get that together.- And she looked out the window. She saw the fire. And she said, "Okay. Let's go!" And we left. And we had to drive through flames down on PCH. And it was like, "Wow!" It was this incredible thing happening.

But our lives are just like that: always vulnerable. "That can't happen to me" is a wrong theory.

And obviously it was . Because there were these trees all around the residence. And it was just so beautiful to see them. It was like they sacrificed themselves, and instead of letting the residence burn, they just stood there! And they were engulfed in flame but they just wouldn't catch fire! They were dried up and they were everything. They just gave themselves and they just wouldn't go! They weren't going to budge and they weren't going to let the fire go anywhere else!

And there were premies in the residence. And as a matter of fact, there was this truck going up the hill. And I looked out the window in the morning before anything had started happening, and I just said, "Boy! Those guys are crazy. They shouldn't go up there!" And anyway, they finally realized that they shouldn't go up there.

So as the fire started coming, it got very close. They turned around and they started coming back. And they couldn't make it. So they had to run to the residence. And they took shelter in the residence, right inside.

And they were quite blown out because some of these guys thought, "Man, this is it!" I mean, they could see out the windows and it was all red outside. And they were crying and didn't know what to think about the whole thing. And there were all these premies sitting in front of the altar having satsang. And these guys were just lying there. "What's going on?" If you can just imagine it.

But so much can happen in our lives. We need the key. We need the whole thing. We need Guru Maharaj Ji. From Guru Maharaj Ji comes . From Guru Maharaj Ji comes Knowledge. From Guru Maharaj Ji comes everything. And we need the whole package.

I know that there are so many people in this world who try to just grab bits and pieces of everything. And then they end up in bits and pieces. Because those bits and pieces that they have, when all of them burn, those bits and pieces protect their bits and pieces.

Because there are so many concepts in this world of heaven and hell. An initiator was giving satsang last night, and he was talking about hell and heaven and pearly gates and all that. And then I was giving satsang last night and said. "What if there isn't any of that? What if it is a long escalator running and about three-quarters of a mile down there's a 'Y' and there's a great big computer machine scanning both sides, and just picking you up and putting you on the 'hell' conveyor belt or the 'heaven' conveyor belt?"

We get so involved in our lives … I mean, look! Just look! We get so involved in our lives with our concepts -- to live with our concepts, to merge with our concepts -- that we lose the real focus, that we lose the real perspective.

"Yes, I want happiness.- And what people would like is a little package. And you open it up, you take a half a cup of hot water, sprinkle that in there, drink it, and … there you are!

But really, what is it going to be with us? Is it going to be really our concepts that are going to save us from this world that we believe in so much? Or is in fact going to be somebody else? Or in fact is it going to be Knowledge? Or is it going to be ? Or is it going to be Guru Maharaj Ji? I mean, is that what's going to save us, or is what we believe in this world going to save us?

To me, okay, look. Maybe there is a whole lifetime. There's this whole thing. You die here always. This is what everybody talks about in India: "You don't do this, otherwise you're going to come out like an ant." To me, they're concepts. They just are! Because you just don't go up to a cow and say, "What were you in your last lifetime?" And is that it? To believe this whole life

I mean, just look at it. What a perfect alibi. If you were a smart criminal, if you were a smart person who really wanted to make an idiot out of people, what would you do? You would make them believe all these things!

It's just like those people who sell stuff in Napoli, where the ferry to Capri leaves. They have all these guys around that whole place. They see a foreign license plate and that's it. They lock on, come over, and try to sell you this Rolex: "It's a very expensive watch. But for you? I make a special discount."

This guy is talking like he has known you all your life. You are his father's best friend. And his father has just transferred all his trust to you. So when he grows up, you give it to him. It's like: "For you? I make a special discount." And a lot of people fall for it. And a lot of people know what it is, they go ahead and they even fool them, buy the watch, whatever they're selling.

It's like those tapes. When Indian premies came from India to Rome, they brought some tapes of different songs, different bhajans. And I picked up one of the tapes, then I put it down. And I looked at it again. And it said "Sony." But it was spelled S-O-N-I: Soni. And these are all these concepts that we have.

I mean, those kind of people try to make an idiot out of you, just con you right out of your whole life! You know? And instead of being who you are in this lifetime …

All these concepts: "Oh man! To be a cow, it's terrible." Maybe a cow likes to be a cow. Maybe an alligator likes to be an alligator.

You look at the dog we have in Malibu, Nellie. Sometimes you look at her and she gives you the feeling that she wouldn't want to be anything else except a dog. And it's just like that.

And we always get conned by our concepts. "Man, you better do this in your life. And you do this in your life. And you do this in your life, otherwise you're going to go to hell!" "You better sit this way, and you better eat this way, and you better do this way and you better do that way."

When Hindus wash their hands (these are the strictest ones), they pour water and then they're going to wash their hands all the way up to the elbows. They pour their water from elbow down. And they wash their hands like that. When Muslims do it, they take the same water and they wash it from hands to elbows.

And there are all these little concepts, all these little gears, all these little mechanics and all these little things here and there. And I'm not saying you should change … if you're a Muslim, that's great! If you're a Hindu, that's great! But what about this life? This life is not a Hindu. This is not a Muslim. This is not a Sikh. This is not a Christian. It's not anything. Life is life.

Because if that's the way it is, and you did one naughty thing, you ended up in hell, you would get all these religious cows and all these religious goats, all these religious beetles and everything! But what about life itself?

I mean, if you want to do anything in this world, okay. That's your business, so far I'm concerned. You want to drive a cab? Fine with me. You want to fly an airplane? That's fine with me. You want to jump out of an airplane? That's fine with me. (With a parachute, of course.) But the only thing that's not fine with me is when you waste your life. Because I understand that there is a purpose to life.

And when we surrender to Guru Maharaj Ji, when we let go of ourselves to Guru Maharaj Ji, then we get our life back again to live it again. Because there, true happiness comes. We go beyond the cylcle of being happy and sad, happy and sad, happy and sad. We get out of that evolution and become pure. Pure, what that pureness really is. And only when we focus, when we lock into Guru Maharaj Ji.

Because Guru Maharaj Ji is like this feed ship. It has everything. It comes in and it is the feed ship. From it, we can get what we want. But if we are tied up in our concepts: "No, no, no, it's okay. I'll do it this way, and I'll do it this way. and I'll do it this way, and I'll do it this way," then what is our destiny?

It's simple. It's just very, very simple. Because of the concepts, the whole thing sounds like it's super-sophisticated. Because of our unrealization, the whole thing sounds like, "Wow, man. How am I ever going to do this? How in my whole life am I going to have realization of Knowledge?"

But realization of Knowledge is an absolutely natural, absolutely phenomenally simple, simple, simple thing. And it's literally ludicrous of us, tied in our concept, in our cape, in our straitjacket of concepts … That's what it is. And we try to move and it's just like wiggling around in a straitjacket.

And maybe one day we go in front of a mirror for some eight-ball reason and we say. "Man, look at me! I've got a straitjacket on!" And then we go, "Oops," and the big Adam's apple goes up and down. And then we go, "Help," real loud. And sometimes we are even so freaked out about the whole thing that it's like: shock. We can't even say help. We lose our voice.

Listen! This is the problem. Guru Maharaj Ji doesn't place us in that vulnerable stage. Guru Maharaj Ji doesn't put us into that vulnerable position. We ourselves, with our two itsy bitsy stupid feet, drive ourselves into trouble. And then there are all these consequences that we have to bear.

But Guru Maharaj Ji says, "No. You don't have to even bear those. I can take away those. I can take care of you. I can take you away."

And it's like when that initiator was telling that one story. This guy was involved. He had Knowledge and was a premie. But instead of always doing satsang, service, and meditation, he would devote most of his time to his boss or to his family and to all that. (Of course, the way he made it sound -- I was going to make a comment to him today that, "If you go around telling those premies this kind of story, they might never leave here: Kissimmee, Florida." And I said, "Well, that's going to be outrageous, man. These guys have got to go back to come to another program!")

But this is the way the story goes, anyway. This guy spends most of his time somewhere else, completely concentrated into his family and all that, and just forgets about Knowledge. He goes to the pearly gates. Knocks on the door. The secretary comes out, "What do you want?"

"Oh yeah! Well? Ta-da! Here I am! I'm a premie! Jai Satchitanand!"

"Jai Satchitanand. You say you're a premie? Very good. Welcome to the pearly gates. Uh, by the way, how much meditation have you done in your life?"

"Oh, constantly. Every time. I'm so happy that I received Knowledge. I'm constantly doing meditation. Merged. One with it."

And you can just imagine it. This guy is sitting up there going, "Jesus! I've been in heaven for all my life and I'm not even like that. What's he doing?" And then he goes, "What about service? Have you done a lot?"

"Always. Whatever I have done in my life: it's all service."

And this guy goes, "My God! Look at this thing! You know, here I even get a scolding from the Lord Almighty for spacing out now and this guy says he's always in service!" "Well, what about satsang?"

"Oh brother, you know. Always in satsang."

The guy goes, "Well, premie ji, just on the side -- nothing official--are you pulling my leg or is this really true?"

"Oh definitely it's true. Why don't you just let me in and we can, later on, come together and have some satsang?"

And this guy, I guess, he's pretty smart. That's the reason why he's sitting up there with the great big book, secretary of God. He opens up the book and says, "Well, you mind if I check?"

"Oh well no. Of course not. I don't mind if you check. Just, you know, it's a little cold. You let me in and, uh, just … You know, you're so beautiful!" (Whatever.) "You're great! You're incredible! It's very beautiful to see a brother here."

And the guy says, "Okay. Why don't you wait a second? Let me look over … So he looks at his book. And he sees the fact that yes, he has had Knowledge. And the poor secretary's heart just breaks to little pieces. Because there he is, secretary to God, and even he isn't merged all the time.

And this guy sees: "It's true! I mean, the first statement said yes, he did receive Knowledge. If this guy is telling the truth, then it's incredible! It's just too much! I'm going to ask for a relief from this service and move on down to Earth where I can be like this." (This is not the way the initiator told it. This is another goof being put on it.)

And the guy just goes down and: "Da and da and da. First two days he was completely into meditation, Arti, satsang, service, and meditation. The third day he went to work. He arrived late, his boss got mad. Second day he did not do meditation. He just did a fudge job." (You know, like bam-bam-bam-bam.) "And went over to the satsang."

And he said, "Well, premie ji, this isn't so great. I mean, what have you done? Have you told me a lie? How could that be satsang? Here you are, trying to get into heaven and you have done nothing to even deserve heaven. Are you crazy or something?"

And as the story of the initiator goes: "… And he is kicked out of heaven to go to hell. So forget about it, you're going there, man! That's it!" And there he is on his way.

The initiator's story goes: "… And then there are all these bosses and his wife and his kids and everybody's waiting in hell waving to him: "Hey, what took you so long?"

And I thought that was really funny. I started laughing. "What took you so long? You should have come with us, man!" To hell, that is.

And then, all of a sudden, there is Guru Maharaj Ji there. Not in. Outside. Just outside of hell. In this dark, gloomy place, a spot of light. You look. And in that moment maybe everything in your whole life is going through you: "Man oh man, if I just could have another chance!"

And when that one moment of faith does develop, when that one moment of trueness, of sincerity, when that does become true, the most fantastic thing happens. Guru Maharaj Ji just pops open the door of his car and says. "Let's go. We're getting out of here." And that's the way it is.

But premies, truly, will that moment ever come in our lives when Guru Maharaj Ji's just going to pull up to us right at the verge of everything else, pop his door open and say. "Let's get out of here! Come to that abode that I live in. Come in my world?"

I can guarantee you one thing: if we keep ourselves tied to our straitjacket of concepts. I can assure you that we are going to end up on the other side of those gates of hell. (Now the thing is, you see, I'm not saying that, in fact, there is a hell and, in fact, there is a heaven. This is based upon the great theories that everybody has.) And Guru Maharaj Ji is going to be there. And Guru Maharaj Ji is going to say, "I sincerely wish you would have listened to me. Because the only reason I came here was to save you. But because you didn't listen to me, I have to leave without you."

And yes, it's a pathetic story. Yes, it's a sympathetic thing. Da-da-da-da-da. But we're the ones who are going to blow it. It's not Guru Maharaj Ji. Guru Maharaj Ji's going to be there before us, and hopefully leave with us. But if we keep ourselves tied into our straitjacket, then none of those things are going to happen.

Guru Maharaj Ji is going to get there before us. But as sad as Guru Maharaj Ji's going to be, he might have to leave there without us.

But that faith can save us. And we have to now get rid of our concepts. You have to let go. Because for how long are we going to hang on like this? For how long?

Guru Maharaj Ji is saying, "Can I give you another leg?" Here you've got crutches and you're walking and hopping along on one leg. And Guru Maharaj Ji says, "Please, can I give you another leg?" Guru Maharaj Ji says, "Please, can I give you an eye? Can I give you two eyes?" Guru Maharaj Ji says, "Can I give you an arm? Can I help you?"

And we say, "Oh, toot along. It's okay. I can take care of myself. I'm a real one, you know. Ta-da!"

And when it comes down to it, even this greatest, strongest man's ego shakes him up, sends shivers down his spine. Even that strongness just goes away, in a second. And you realize, "Now wait! I've got to let go. I've got to have faith in Guru Maharaj Ji." And you can have faith in Guru Maharaj Ji. You can have belief in Guru Maharaj Ji.

What else can I tell you? That's the way it happened with me. That's the way it's going to happen with you if you permit yourself. Otherwise it won't happen at all.

And so premies, welcome to Hans Jayanti. I'm very glad to see all the premies here. (Premie: "I'm glad to see you!) I'm glad to see you, too. This is a prototype. A little small, a little funky. But gives you a fair idea of what it can be. And I hope that you enjoy yourself. Relax. It isn't three days. It isn't five days. It's seven days. And you're not going anywhere. I'm not going anywhere.

And tell the guys at the security gates, those two security gates over there, that if they see any mind leaving from this side going out to not even check it out. Let it go. Just let it go. And if it starts coming back -- duck! (laughs) No. Stop it!

And so premies, whatever it is, I hope you enjoy it. (Premie: I love you!) I love you, too. And tomorrow is the fifth. The program begins.

Of course if your mind is telling you this is too cold, tell it it can take off. Because tomorrow the program will be happening a lot earlier, and it won't be this cold. Because it won't be happening at this time.

We're trying to keep early schedules. Wake up a little early, go to sleep a little early, and have plenty of time to do meditation, listen to a lot of satsang, and have a lot of opportunity to do service. Hopefully, we'll have the program ended as the sun goes down, so it'll be early.

Be here. Don't space out. If you are here and there, if you are scattered, if you are going to Orlando, having coffee and all that …

When I first came here I drove up to the kitchen area and there was a premie with a coffee cup. And I asked him how the coffee was. He said, "great." It's not my word, it's his word. He says the coffee is great around here. So if that's all you want -- coffee -- you don't have to go to Orlando. And you can have it here. I haven't tasted it. He says it's good.

And maybe there'll be programs happening in the morning and in the evening, too. Of course, I don't know why I am telling you all this. But be around. If you are here doing service somewhere, satsang starts happening, you can always hop in here. But if you're in Orlando having some coffee, when you come back here you'll just hear, "You missed the program." So stick around.

And premies, I sincerely hope you enjoy this festival. And I guess I could just keep on going like that.

The darshan, as far as that is concerned, there's a lot of details that have to be worked out for it.

There will be no darshan happening, premies.

(groans from audience)

Just wanted to know your reaction. There will be darshan happening.

(cheers from audience)

And just because of the amount of premies -- and there's a lot of premies here -- ifs going to be divided into four days. There'll be four days where darshan will be happening. And a lot of cooperation is needed from all the premies who are here.

Don't go twice.

All the people who laughed can't go through darshan line. This is serious! No, it is serious!

This is only a week-worth of program. Now I figure that in four days all the premies could receive Knowledge -- you know, could have darshan. ("Could receive Knowledge?" That wouldn't be bad, would it?) Could have darshan. And then we could have three -- if it happens, five days, we would have two days left. And if it happens in four days, then we would have three days. And we could just really have a lot more satsang if all the premies cooperated.

And you see, if all the premies started to come twice, that would mean eight days. And we only have seven days. So that wouldn't make sense, would it? So don't come twice. That's a better explanation.

It's not a very good explanation. But just take my word for it. Guru Maharaj Ji's telling you, "Don't come twice," so just don't come twice. That's a better explanation.

And so I sincerely hope that I'll be seeing you around. I do like to drive around to see all the premies. Don't run behind the car, please. Because I want you to enjoy this festival, not a hospital with your foot wrapped around the wheel of the jeep. It wouldn't be good. That'd take a lot of cleaning. And you wouldn't be able to enjoy the festival with a cast on there. So don't run. Just enjoy it. Be there. Just don't run. Don't be too close to the jeep. And I'll be seeing you around.

And sometimes when I come into areas, a lot of premies start going at it. And a lot of other premies can get hurt that way. I have to leave.

So if you can just loosely hang around, that's fine. Have darshan. Enjoy it. It's okay with me. But don't make it so that other premies might get hurt. We all want all our brothers and sisters to enjoy this festival.

And as Bill Patterson might put it, it might be the last one. Or as one of these initiators pathetically put it (in a somber monotone).: "This might be our last festival. Enjoy it."

I don't see any reason why it has to be our last festival. But if we keep wrapping ourselves around the jeep, it might be our last festival. As a matter of fact, it might be the only day of the festival you might be able to enjoy.

So premies, everything is beautiful. Everything is really incredible. Here we are (looks up) … Where are the stars? Somewhere. (laughs) It's not exactly one of those warm, starry nights, is it? But in Love, there's the moon, full moon, and a lot of stars. And warm. Real warm.

And so thank you very much, premies. Good night. And I will see you tomorrow.

(Guru Maharaj Ji gave this satsang from the informal stage the night before Hans Jayanti began.)