Marolyn Rawat aka Durga Ji at Mothers' Satsang, Denver, December 1975

Keep each other strong

Durga Ji's satsang to mothers in Denver, December 1975

When I was first told that there was a satsang for mothers, and Judy asked me if I could come, I thought it would he really nice to go. Then it just hit me. there's so many different individuals. Each one of us is in a different situation and yet there's something in common that makes all our differences go away, and that's Knowledge.

I don't really know what's happening with each one of you, but I know that if Maharaj Ji's given us this gift, this Knowledge, it's too incredible to let it slide by. It's too precious. We have to realise how precious it is, because unless we start understanding what he's given us and start taking advantage of it and start really using it, then it doesn't do us any good. How are we different, then, from any other mother this world?

Maharaj Ji's given us the thing to really get our lives together - no matter what our situation is: if we're married or not married if we have a wonderful husband, or a husband we're having problems with; if we're expecting a child or have five children. All the circumstances that we're in are going to be different, but we have Knowledge, and it's so incredible. If Maharaj Ji's given us this opportunity, then we can't just let it pass us by.

It's difficult being a mother. It's a very beautiful, beautiful duty that Maharaj Ji's let us experience, but at the same time, it's not really that easy. It takes a lot of dedication, a lot of effort, a lot of love from us. It's really beautiful that we can be a mother and give that love, but if we're not coming from the right place, if we haven't even got our own life together, then how can we really be a channel for that love to flow out?

Look at these babies: they're so pure and beautiful. We have to be so pure, so clear, we have to be really centered to be able to give that love the way that it should he given. If our brains are really scrambled, if we're experiencing confusion, or a lot of pain in our life, or just a circumstance that we really get into, then how can we be that clear channel to really come out, be a mother and really give that love?

We have the greatest gift, but how can we go out and give satsang to each other or even to a mother who doesn't have Knowledge, a non-premie? We can't if we aren't practically experiencing that in our own life.

If we've taken an action, we have to be responsible for that action. If we are a mother - true, Maharaj Ji's given us that gift - but at the same time we've taken that action ourselves. We have to be responsible for it, but the first responsibility isn't taking care of our children; it's taking care of ourselves. If we aren't together, we can't expect our children to be together. We can't expect to even take care of them the way we should. Maharaj Ji's given us that first responsibility - and that's to really, really get ourselves together.

I feel more and more now that Maharaj Ji waiting for us. He's waiting so patiently, not just for the mothers, but for all of us premies. We really have to start practising and putting that effort forward. Mind can make so many excuses and say, "I can't meditate right now because I've got to do this," or "I've got to do this," or "I've got to do this," or"I've got to do this". True, those things have to be done, but if we're not coming from the right place, what are they anyway?

As far as the definition of service and duty, yes, being a mother is our duty. Yet, while we're doing it, it can also be our service: if we're really dedicating that action to Guru Maharaj Ji; if while we're doing this duty, we're making it service; if it's being given to Guru Maháraj Ji; if we're meditating; if we're experiencing satsang, going to satsang and making an effort to have satsang with each other.

Maybe it's really difficult to get to satsang every night and maybe that's not even the best idea. Maybe it's just too distracting for other people, or for us, to try and watch our little children while they're so full of energy and going all over the place. Can we really absorb that satsang? I don't know. I've talked to Judy and Eileen a little about this. We have to make that conscious effort to really come together and share satsang. I know I need satsang so much and I'm really thirsty for satsang. Satsang is the thing that really makes things so clear. When we get confused and then we have satsang, it's like, "Oh, thank you! Now I can get back to that place of understanding."

What inspires us to have satsang? That's meditation: we have to meditate. I know there was a point when I was pregnant with Premlata, the first two or three months, and so many hormonal changes were happening. I went through a phase of, "I can't meditate. I just can't meditate." I'd sit down and it was really very difficult. Maharaj Ji is very intense, and just being with him is a very intense experience. Before I knew it I was going, "I don't have to meditate formally. I'll just meditate on the Word all day long."

It was such a joke, because I realised I was just kidding myself. It was the biggest delusion that was happening. Maharaj Ji by his grace, let me learn from that, and what I learned is that I was in the ocean drowning before I had Knowledge. Maharaj Ji came and threw a big life buoy to me, and he said, "Hang on to it." He has it fastened to him, but I have to fasten that life buoy around me. When the water's smooth maybe I can just hang on, but maybe that water won't always' be smooth, maybe there'll be a big storm. If I'm not really fastened to this buoy, is it Maharaj Ji's responsibility that I hang on? No, it's my responsibility. It's our responsibility to really fasten Knowledge around us so tight that if a big wave comes, if something happens in this life that's like a stone in our path, we can walk right over it, and we won't get cut loose or let go of this life buoy.


Marolyn Rawat aka Durga Ji at Mothers' Satsang, Denver, December 1975 Knowledge is really our life buoy. If we're fool enough to know it's there but just let go, then what can Maharaj Ji do? We have to really, really involve ourselves in this Mission. This is Maharaj Ji's way of keeping us together, of helping each other. When we give satsang, it's not just for the other person. It's for us first, because satsang is something that we learn when satsang's happening. When I'm giving satsang it's Maharaj Ji's grace that it's happening. It's for me and it's for you and it's for each one of us. We have to make that effort to really get together.

I've gotten a lot of feedback on the situation. With a lot of cooperation, and a lot of effort and a lot of coming together, it can be so beautiful. Being a mother is such an important role. Maharaj ii's let us have this opportunit but we can't just say, "Oh Maharaj Ji, you put me here, this is what you've given me, so now, you take care of it." He's given us Knowledge, and that's our responsibility.

We have to really, really make this effort to get together. There are so many different ways we can do it. Someone said it was a little confusing when the initiator said that this is not your service, but there are ways that we can be really involved in service and still be doing our duty as mothers, still be playing this role. It's really important to do service. Without service then how are we going to really manifest this Knowledge?

There are different ways. You can really become involved in AMP. Maybe you don't have the time to go to the office and do a certain service, or go somewhe else and do a certain service, but maybe you can join in Active Membership and really get into it. Or maybe some of you can get together and help each other. While one mother is taking care of a few children, the other mothers can get together and have satsang, maybe in small groups. This is something that I'm sure Judy can work out with you.

All I know is if we're not really practising Knowledge then it's a very difficult place to be in - no matter what our role is. It doesn't matter. This is the particular role that we're in, and we have to realise how beautiful it is and how we can really make it such a gift to Guru Maharaj Ji.


So often I feel like, "Why can't I see how beautiful he is?" The more I experience how beautiful Maharaj Ji is and how beautiful this gift he's given me is, I realise I don't know anything about it. What we really want is to experience love, to let it really flow within us and be able to just open up to each other and let that experience flow between us. That's desiring to want to love Guru Maharaj Ji, to really desire it. If we really desire it, he'll let it happen, he'll give us that opportunity.

If we're not meditating, we can't really love Guru Maharaj Ji. It's meditation that makes love grow, and if we're not meditating, we won't love him for very long. When we sit down to do meditation we have to realise this is such a precious gift. There's so much happening all the time, all the time, and when we can really sit down and merge into the Light, concentrate on this vibration, this Holy Word, and hear harmony, it's just so beautiful.

Take Mrs. Mary Smith out there for example; she hasn't got that. She's got her kids, her husband, her family, and she's doing her shopping, her cleaning, and the whole thing. But what does she have to help her unscramble everything, so she can really experience that peace that is within us? So we've really got to use it, because if we don't, then Maharaj Ji has given us the most precious diamond and we just stuck it in our pocket. A diamond isn't even a good way to describe it, because it's so much more than a diamond.

If I'm thirsty, it's just so beautiful to be able to drink water. Now Maharaj Ji's given us that water, and if we don't drink then we're just so crazy. Sometimes when we're really experiencing the mind and we feel like it's so crazy, we say, "Oh, I just can't meditate! I just can't." That's when we have to really surrender and say Okay. Maharaj Ji. Give me that desire to want to be with you, to really want to love you." And he will. The more he lets us experience that, the more we just really want to love him and serve him.

The more we serve him, the more we love him, and the more we love him, the more we serve him, and the more we know him. It just goes on and on. Instead of making Knowledge a part of our life - Knowledge really can't be a part of our life - Knowledge has to just be our life, really encompass us completely. We can't really be part-time premies, part-time lovers. Either we really love Guru Maharaj Ji or we're just part-time, and a part-time premie goes from that to just dwindling off until finally we break that connection.

Maharaj Ji is always there, and you're always my sisters. At first, it was like, Oh, Maharaj Ji's married Durga Ji. Therefore she's our mother." That's really beautiful, but really, I don't know anything about being a mother. It's just appening. Actually, Guru Maharaj Ji's my mother and your mother. He's our mother, our father, our husband, our lover, our everything. When we really xperience Maharaj Ji as being our everything, we have a real security, finally. We're not just wishy-washy, but we're firm.

When something happens, Maharaj Ji lets us learn by it with his mercy. I learned that I've got to be really flexible so when Maharaj Ji goes, "Bend," I bend, and not just crack and break. It's like a blade of grass. I'm sure you've all seen a little blade of grass come right through the asphalt, right through the street, or right through the sidewalk and just break it open. What is that blade of grass? It's so tender and so tiny and yet look at the power that's behind it. If we walk on it, it bends right down and then pops right back up. We have to be that way, and now we have something that can make us that way, that can keep us that way. And that's Knowledge.

There's an incredible thing happening. Maharaj Ji's really, really manifesting himself in this world. I see it happening and it's so beautiful the way he's doing it. He could have just come on so strong, just done anything he wanted. Instead, he's working miracles so subtly within our own hearts. It's really such a miracle he's coming to this world in such a beautiful way.

But premies, and sisters, we have to be ready. We have to be able to let him come through us. I know he's waiting, and I really feel that it's really happening. We've got to make that effort. When I came in, a sister was saying, "We have make that effort, because that's our part." Sometimes it's hard to make that effort, but when we experience it, it's just so beautiful, because that's our love. That effort is our love.

There are a lot of ways Maharaj Ji's given us to really tie in; to really tie ourselves to his feet. And that's where we have to be. Maybe there's nothing right now that's really directed towards the mothers, but that's up to you. Betty can't sit here and arrange something for you. You've got to do it. All of you can really come together and make that effort to help each other. What greater service is there than helping each other? This is service, helping Guru Maharaj Ji any way we can. By getting ourselves together, helping each other, and becoming strong, then we can really help each other.

I feel like something positive, something really beautiful, is going to happen. Guru Maharaj Ji has said that no matter what position we're in - whether we brought it upon ourselves or whether he placed us there - it's just so beautiful that he can give us that grace so that we can make it. It impressed me so much when Maharaj Ji said it doesn't matter what position, what service, what role we're in. The grace is there to help us make it. As long as we're keeping our part of the deal, there's nothing that can throw us off. This link with Guru Maharaj Ji is so strong that nothing can break it, unless we just turn around and walk the other way. We really have to be a flower for him because that's what we are, not that thorn. We have to do our part, and that's our best. If we're doing our best, it's all really perfect.

Just look at these babies. Last night, when we went to the Spring Festival put on by the children at Unity School, I saw those children, and realised how it's so important for us to be clear, because we're such a big influence on them. These are not our children; they came through us, but they're Guru Maharaj Ji's children, and it's our responsibility to raise them in the best way that we can, with this Knowledge. It really means, first of all, realising Knowledge and practising Knowledge and centering our own lives so that whatever we do it'll be centered, whatever we project it'll be clear, it'll be satsang, it'll be true - instead of the craziness that we sometimes get into.

It's beautiful that we can go out in this world and people can recognise that there's something really beautiful happening. It is by his fruits that the world is going to know him, and Maharaj Ji's given us that opportunity, he's given us such an opportunity. I just don't want any of us t~ lose it because it's just too precious. There's really not too much to say, though there is so much to say, but always, we just have to experience it. Maharaj Ji's given us such beautiful teachers, because our children can teach us so much. We can't teach them anything. We just have to be clear so that they can teach us and we can see how pure and how beautiful they are and where they're coming from. And we just have to be in sync with it.

So I guess I'll let you get back to your duties and service. It's been really wonderful, and I hope the next time we have a meeting, some really, really positive steps have been made to keep each other together, keep each other strong.

So Jai Satchitanand.