Loving Hans

Durga Ji wrote the following article about her experiences as a mother for the U.S. Divine Times.

The birth of Hans is something I would like to share with all of you. Mere words could not describe such an incredible experience, but once again that is all we have to communicate with. I must admit I had a few concepts about how it would be, whereas with Premlata, I was more open to whatever would happen. But Maharaj Ji seemed to just completely blow away my ideas of how it would be. I figured that since this was the second child, it would be fast and easy. But there was a lot of hard work to be done and it had to be that way. A lot of effort and concentration and surrendering had to be given, and I had to give it. It was wonderful, so beautiful. It has taught me so much. I had the concept that it would be a breeze, but it took my everything, completely my everything to bring Hans into this world. I love him so dearly for it. I can see so clearly the parallel of Knowledge in our lives. When we give our everything, we experience everything in return.

Maharaj Ji shared the whole birth process with me. It was so important for me that he was there giving me strength. And he gave me so much. I was completely ecstatic over Hans' birth. At that intense moment of delivery, I forgot about the child being a boy or a girl, and was completely overwhelmed and surprised when Maharaj Ji exclaimed, "It's a boy!"

Shortly afterwards, Premlata came into our room to see her new brother. The first words that she said were, "Baby out!" She really loves him and always wants to kiss him every chance she gets. As each day passes, I see her love for Hans grow more and more and her complete acceptance of him as a member of our family.

I feel having Hans has really made things so much clearer for me. It is such a beautiful service Maharaj Ji has given me I realise that I can see it in two different ways, either as a job or as a joy. When I see it as a job, something I have to do, I find myself complaining like, "Gee, I'm so tired," "I sure wish I could get a good night's sleep," "Why is he waking up now?" etc. etc. When this happens, I am missing so much because of it. But when I experience it as the joy it really is, I know what a gift it is to be so fortunate, to be loving and caring for his beautiful children, and I receive so much in return.

I guess the main thing I've learned about being a mother would be "to be able to give is such a blessing." We all need to give. It feels so good and right and being a mother just pulls it out of you in such an incredible, beautiful way.