So dear premies, it's another day, another opportunity. And I know that today satsang has been going on. I've been listening to it on the video monitor: Joe Anctil's great announcements, and then Grace Wallace's satsang, Peter Dawson, Bill Patterson. This morning Mike Donner was hacking away. We listen to satsang and it's like it's just going on; we're listening to it.

This morning we got up and Wadi was still sleeping. Hansi was up and he was playing in the room, and he went and turned on the T.V. And there was Mike Donner, going at it. You know, everything. There I was, still very tired. I went to sleep very late, so I was very tired; laid back down. So Marolyn went to reach over to turn off the T.V. I said, "Don't turn it off, leave it on. I'll just go to sleep with it on." And it was incredible, it was nice. I didn't fall back to sleep because he was giving satsang. (Finally I turned it off and went to sleep: How can you go to sleep with him yelling on the T.V. like that?)

And our lives are such a thing you know. Here we are in the midst of this hall, technically in the midst of this hall. And what have we grabbed so far, what have we gained so far, what have we attained so far? And you know, it's just so incredible, because it's completely our option, and nobody else's option. It's our option. The opportunity, the Grace, that river, that so many people long for in their lives, is here. That opportunity, that people would give or sacrifice anything for in their lives, is here.

That satsang, that river of satsang, that's said can make a crow - when the crow dives in the river of satsang, it comes out like a swan - that river of satsang is flowing: I mean from 8.30 on. It just has short interruptions for the two bands here. And even they try to sing the glory of Guru Maharaj Ji: "I Love You" or "I Need You" or whatever their songs say. But what are we going to do in our lives? I mean is it just one of those things, well okay, here's Hans Jayanti?

Today I was talking and we were counting how many satsangs, how many programs we've had. It all started in January at Kansas City; that doesn't seem like too long ago. Then from Kansas City we went to Europe, had the program in England, had the program in Marbella, the Holi; came back to the Holi festival in Miami, had Holi there. All these things were happening, and then Guru Puja happened, the Shower of Grace happened, you know. All these programs. I know that not all these premies who are here came to those programs, but I know that most of the Americans came to Kansas City, most of the Americans came to Tucson. However many English premies are here came to England. Spanish premies who are here definitely came to the Spanish Holi, Marbella.

Is it always going to be just a simple routine in our lives, or is in fact something going to click?

And here we are you know, and we've had satsang and I noticed that one day I just said, "Look, let's have one more day of satsang." To me it was a Simple Simon thing, let's just have one more day of satsang. What difference does it make, what has it got to do with the festival itself? Because I had a wonderful time out there, giving satsang. It was night, dark, it was cold, and premies were just having satsang, you know, and it was incredible, so I came out there and I started giving satsang. It was as simple as that. And there was no festival, so it wasn't like, okay, there is no festival so I don't have to give satsang. Satsang has nothing to do with a festival. We give satsang, we share satsang, we have satsang, we listen to satsang, whenever we can, whenever the opportunity arises. And then, Joe Anctil just said we should do this, we should do that, try to make your amendments to flight charters. I mean, I know people have to go: Go back to their places where they live - I can't call it home - but wherever you live, to go back to it: Your sleeping bag's still there.

Today I was talking with Marolyn, and Marolyn was just saying, wouldn't it be nice to just have our home here, just have satsang here and have everything here. And I said, well, it's little bit unfeasible, because more and more the Prachar grows, more and more people realize Knowledge, I know it just gets more and more scattered, and it's just like people are everywhere. People can't just live in one place.

I said, the substitute to that is, to just have a lot more programs. And then I said, well unless we build a city, unless we have a place where … I remember that a long time ago this whole idea started of building a city, and still we have it, still people think about a city. And I remember looking at the plans of the city. Incredible! Modular this and modular that, and there were all these architects, there were all these people who were into these modular structures. Look, we are not trying to do an experiment, and we are not

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trying to build, you know, some kind of a do-do, dah-dah city which is completely modular. I mean the whole idea was, that if you wanted your whole apartment shifted, you just pulled it out and stuck it somewhere else. Well we're not trying to do that.

As a matter of fact, if you really look at the purpose of a city, it would be totally impractical to have a city. Why? What do you want a city for? If you are going to have satsang all the time, what you really need is a great big satsang hall, you know, in which you have all the facilities. Everything. Have a great big arm-rest on one side, and when lunchtime comes, a green light goes on that means, you know, undo your shelf and there's food there, water, everything that you could possibly need. You eat your food while you are listening to satsang. You can punch a little thing in the computer … bring me my clothes, and the green light goes on and you undo your shelf, and there are your clothes.

Or instead of having this whole thing, just have these capsules that have a door in front of them, if you want to change or do something. I mean that's all you need. Why build houses, because it would be the same old story. Just imagine, that if this was a great big city from here to Los Angeles, and we all go back. But to me, I have realized one thing; that it's not in cities where we are going to find that peace. No. I mean, do you really think if we did build a city, that that's it, that's what's going to be? I don't think so, I really don't think so.

Yes, some day by Guru Maharaj Ji's Grace we will have a city, we would need to have a city. Right here, right now we have more people at this festival site than some towns in the United States of America. You know, there's "Population 15,000, Elevation two feet." We've got a lot more premies than that, so it would be totally practical to have a city. But is that what's going to bring us that satisfaction, is that what's going to make our commitment happen?

Shri Maharaj Ji used to say that if we are going to be like a rock, then what can change us? You can take a rock and soak it in water for years and years. Sometimes where there are these cliffs, and the ocean water and the tide comes up, it just really bashes against these cliffs and gets them all wet, but as soon as the low tide comes, they're all dry. You know? So if you are going to be like rocks, if our mind is going to be unchangeable, if that's going to be our outlook, that focus that is supposed to be on Guru Maharaj Ji, if that focus is constantly going to be connected with our minds, then nothing can change it. You don't have to bother about one city, you could have a thousand cities. You don't have to bother about one program, you could have a million programs.

I was talking this morning, and I was just saying, man, when I sat down last year I remember before - no it was after Hans Jayanti, in December - I was just calculating and I looked at the calendar. I just took the basic programs that we always have - Guru Puja, Hans Jayanti, Holi - and I said, okay, we're going to have 27 programs; and yet we have something like 40 programs which we've already had this year. That's 40 hours of satsang, and already now, today, there have been more satsangs given by me than I have ever given in one festival. It's already topped Rome and all that.

But what's happened to us? Here the vibration gets really incredible, the attitude gets really incredible, the whole thing gets really incredible. Last night the whole thing was incredible, it was really strong, it was sincere, it was clean, it was clear. So far I was concerned, mind was on Port-O-Let

Street somewhere, trying to find its way out. There was no doubt, there was no question, there was so much experience it surpassed all possible imagination. It's beautiful. I was sitting there; it was going zing-zing-zing. It was so incredible, there was so much love …

And I know that when Marolyn sang that song, and then Ritchie Neel sang that song, it was very beautiful - and then I left, then people got up. What did you think of first thing, why did you even get up? To go back to your tents? I know that looking over that way at Virgil, he was very tired. Of course he's come from India - you can't blame him. He just came back from India. It's just that I'm pretty sure that after he did meditation, he just crashed on his bed as fast as he could. That goes for a lot of us. I know last night when some people were singing Arti, they'd be saying something like, "You are my aawl … " and they'd be yawning in the middle of it. So after all that satsang, after those thirty or forty satsangs or however much we have heard, at least heard through a cassette or read in a magazine or whatever happened - I'm not saying that's what we should do tonight; just stay here … but it would be fantastic.

That happened one time. Shri Maharaj Ji just stayed there all night long; came there before sunset and there was music going on and satsang going on, and whenever he felt like it he just picked up the microphone and gave satsang.

Premies were there and just after a little while they were sleepy, and you know what happens after a little while; you just shoot up. You don't feel sleepy and you get wired - a lot of premies got wired - it was incredible you know and satsang went on, everything went on till the next day.

It was morning and everybody had some breakfast or whatever they had to do, and Shri Maharaj Ji went back to rest a little bit and came back.

And obviously this is the way I see for us, that it's not very practical to have hotels, it's not very practical to have halls, because halls are conditioned places, halls and everything are conditioned places. So far as I am concerned, I would rather be in rain and too much hot sun and all that stuff than sit in some air-conditioned hall where you can open up the doors at certain time and you got to shut if off at a certain time, otherwise there is $1000 an hour charge after that. That's ridiculous. So to me, to have our own place outdoors is the ultimate solution. In India it used to work; of course there was no Port-O-Let street, it was like Port-O-Let country, the whole area. There were no showers, there was a river right next door. We don't have a river here, we've got a Port-O-Let Street here, we've got showers: Not any warmer than the Ganges - very cold.

When we have our own place, of course it's going to be incredible, it's not going to be like this, but … same thing. We are going to have a better stage, we are going to have a better sound system: Instead of having this incredibly huge sound system we put together the same size as the stage, we're going to have the speakers right out into the whole audience so that everybody can hear without getting this incredible echo. You can hear it clear as what these monitors sound like, because the speakers are going to be on the floor, because people are going to be sitting in sections and there are going to be these incredible speakers, and then a whole section for premies who need translation - no echo problems, no feed-back problems, no this problem, no that problem. It would be like everybody having a head-set and listening to the satsang. I mean what it sounds like here it will almost sound like to the whole audience.

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And we would be having better facilities as far as showers are concerned -they'd be warm - and more privacy would be given instead of having these portable Port-O-Lets. The first time I went around them I looked at them and said: "My God, these might lean over with somebody in them. It would be terrible." Instead of having that kind of thing, it would just be better.

But still, what happens to us? I mean what happens? What goes wrong? What happens? People just get up after satsang, and that's what's going to happen there too. Because their housing is not going to be in tents, it's going to be in domes, and it's going to be better because it's going to be heated if it's too cold, air-conditioning if it's too hot. You won't have to bother about so many things. But then again would that make any difference? After the satsang is finished, everything is over, you get up and you go to your tent and say, "Where's my sleeping bag? Somebody stole it."

After it's all finished the musicians here, they've got nothing to do. They don't turn on anything, they don't turn off anything, they just play, play, play, play all throughout the day, and then when it's all over, click, click, click, click, turn it all off, switch, switch, switch, turn the lights off, turn this off, turn that off. And Joe Anctil gets up there and makes these announcements. That's it, man, that's what a festival is all about. Wrap up the cameras, take the film, put it in proper places. Everybody is going back to their places - Can I get ride back to my hotel? Can I do this, can I do that? What's happening, what's not happening? Can I have a snack?

Of course when you are protected by Guru Maharaj Ji's shelter, when you are protected by Guru Maharaj Ji's Grace, there is no problem, there is no concern, there is nothing going on except satsang, except an experience. An experience so overwhelming that nothing can compete with it, nothing can join it, nothing can even come close to it.

But it's when we leave that shelter and we go away - and this is what I want to clarify - okay, of course we want to have a program on Sunday, and that's beautiful. And I know that Joe Anctil has been telling and Grace Wallace has been saying, whatever you can do, just please stay, and I know what's going to happen. They're going to try to contact the charter people, the charter people are going to say, forget it, and the premies are going to say, well there's only one thing to do - forget about the charters. And that's nothing to clap about, forget it. Okay, well look, we want to have a program: That's beautiful, that's one more day of satsang, one more day of darshan - and it all sounds, you know, "I want it, I want it, yes, yes, yes, yes." But there is no point in being in such a stage where … "My charter just flew off, or this or that".

This is what we have to understand, premies, that there is this whole world out there, and let's just keep it together. Let's not just ring-a-ding and space out everywhere, and that's what a lot of premies do. I know that there is nothing to get together in this world, but till we have our own place, till we have our own cities - cities, yes, cities, of course, why not - let's keep it together till then in this world. And premies who should go back, who have to go back, should go back. Not feeling, "Oh, shucks". There's no reason to feel like that.

And, specifically, the whole way I designed it, starting this festival on Sunday and ending it on a Saturday, the whole idea was to give premies the

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opportunity to be able to come on Saturday, because then they could get off their work or whatever they have to do, to be here on Saturday, to be able to drive all night if they have to, fly, whatever they have to do to come here - and then officially the satsang begins on Sunday. And then, end the program on Saturday so that the premies have all day long to pack up, or do whatever, to get to the places where they want to be.

But if our intentions are always going to be, "Oh Jesus, I really don't want to leave" … of course I know nobody wants to leave. I mean, to me, when we were talking about when would I like to leave here, I said that I'd like to get out fast after the satsang has finished. The whole program has finished and N like to get out of here, because what is here? This place is going to look so desolate, this place is going to look so terrible, this place is going to look so crazy, that there is nothing here; for me, there is nothing here. I don't particularly like those red and green tents, I have no desire for Port-O-Let Street or Concept Street or Satsang Avenue, or this bend or that bend, or Satisfaction Junction. To me, this will all look desolate. It's only the premies that are here that makes it wonderful, that makes it incredible; it's not these things.

But, in our lives something has to click too, you know. Okay, next year maybe I'll plan for this incredible thing where we'll just be able to come together and have satsang after satsang after satsang - twice as much satsang as we've had this year. It would be beautiful, I know it'll be beautiful. This time when we do it, we'll do it right, we'll plan a nine day Hans Jayanti. Saturdays and Sundays, you can forget about those, you know. Just go straight on, come and have satsang, come and enjoy yourself. When hopefully, by Guru Maharaj Ji's Grace, it is at all possible to make it free for all premies to just come and listen to satsang. All that can happen I know.

I'm already starting to plan tours, I'm already starting to plan programs, and I'm already starting to plan all those things, but, premies, the point is that unless it clicks in our hearts, it doesn't matter. This is what I'm trying to say: That forty hours of satsang is close to what we have heard this year, and when we go back into our crazy mind, there is no difference, it's the same old thing again.

And I know that how much we all really desire to be constant, I know that how much we all desire to be always here. The sun can go down, it can rain, it can freeze, it can be hot, and I know that we would never want to leave. And is it because you like Kissimmee, Florida, or this particular location because it's so close to Disneyland? But it's because of love, because of satsang, and that's what we have to truly manifest in our lives. And then take as much opportunity as possible that Guru Maharaj Ji renders us, that Guru Maharaj Ji gives us, to be able to come and enjoy those satsangs. You know, this is like what I said; that man, I could work, I could have a job, I could do this, and I could do that, but the only reason that I would even want to work is to be able to just come to these satsangs and enjoy them. So what else is there in this world?

And that's what has to become obvious for us - that, let's really, really, give that mind a vacation. And what I was exactly talking about Sunday, was that premies who really should leave because of those arrangements, you should try to go, because then it's going to be very difficult for you, you know, to then leave. And maybe by Guru Maharaj Ji Grace, you know, who knows, we'll build our own festival site, we'll put a runway right there

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and the airplanes will be like buses all waiting in a line at the end of the runway. After the satsang is finished, your luggage is already loaded; just hop on the bus and go. It's not impossible, it's very possible. But the thing is, let's have that effort, let's make it.

Initiators get up there and they give satsang: Now premies let's do it, and let's do it, and let's do it, do this and do that. Initiators aren't perfect, initiators aren't the incredible ones - they are no different than anybody sitting here so far as I'm concerned. They just happen to have a different service, that's all. Here is Ron; his service is to shoot his movie camera: There is Geoff; his service is to play a drum. But it's not like everybody goes to Ron and says, "Oh, Ron, how are you, could you please give me some satsang?" Or go to Geoff and say, "Geoff, could you please play a drum for me once?"

Initiators are not those rainbows that you imagine, and as a matter of fact to me, everytime that they get up there and give all this satsang, I feel like we should take that satsang they give, print it and send a copy of that satsang to that Initiator. "Make that effort, dummy". You said so, you try doing it too. It doesn't mean that because they have been made Initiators they automatically get a hundred dollar ticket straight to heaven first-class, meals paid; you know, open ticket that whenever they want to go they can go. They just have a service that they have to do. But their effort has to be the same just as anybody sitting here, their effort can't be, "Oh yeah, because we're Initiators we don't have to make any effort." Their experience can dwindle; of course it can. Sometimes Initiators get up there and it's like a car that just doesn't want to start on a cold morning - "Jai -yay-yay-yay-bonk" - barely gets fired, you know, just won't start.

And that happens, because that's all dependent upon our experience, and that's where we have to get strong. And look at how many opportunities Guru Maharaj Ji has given us to be strong. Look at how many opportunities are really being provided to us to become that reality. Look at how many opportunities are being given to us. I hope, I sincerely hope, that we can all get together and have another satsang as soon as possible. And I'm not talking about tomorrow or all the way till

Sunday, I'm talking about after this festival is over to have another festival somewhere, so we can all come together and have more satsang. There's a lot of hogwash going around about the 10th December, and I don't know, I don't think it will be possible. But anyway, that's what we have to become clear on, this is what we have to become open about.

Like I was saying yesterday, what can we do, what are we going to do in our lives? Are we going to go up to Guru Maharaj Ji and say, "Listen, here is a rain-check, I have this rain-check right now, I want you to give me liberation right now, otherwise you're going to get it?" You don't do that to Guru Maharaj Ji - you say, "Guru Maharaj Ji, help." Like I was saying yesterday, you say, "If You could find any place, any point, anywhere, anything, if You could just find a little place for me, then just please stick me in somewhere, because I want to be on Your boat, and I want to be with You so desperately. I am already indebted to You. Don't expect anything from me, I will do whatever I can by Your Grace, but don't expect -I'm already too much indebted to you. How can I ever repay You, what can I ever do? And I can't pay You even if I have the whole wealth of this entire world: When I can't even pay You with that, Guru Maharaj Ji, then what have I got, what is there that I can give You?

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"And You give me so much. You give me that affection, You give me that - Love and I keep taking it, I never even think about, oh Guru Maharaj Ji, what can I give You? I mean, if there are people that can be called the worst' then here I am, it's me. If there is somebody who is the worst of the bunch, here it is, it's me, and the more You see that it's me then please help me more, please."

And, even what right do we have to plead to Guru Maharaj Ji? Who are we, you know, who are we that we can even plead to Guru Maharaj Ji and say please, or talk to Guru Maharaj Ji, or look at Guru Maharaj Ji? But we do it.

One moment of satsang, one moment, one word of Guru Maharaj Ji, what is the price of that word, and how are you going to pay Guru Maharaj Ji, how are you going to repay Guru Maharaj Ji? And what has Guru Maharaj Ji said? He doesn't say, you have to give me eight hundred tons of love, He says just give me whatever love you can, that's all I want. And in turn what does Guru Maharaj Ji give us? Everything that we don't deserve, everything that we cannot even dream possible.

That's what we have to start feeling, that has to become constant in our lives, that feeling has to become a reality in our lives. Not just whenever you feel a little emotional on the side, that you go, "Guru Maharaj Ji, I love You," or "Guru Maharaj Ji, You're wonderful." I mean, wonderful isn't the word, wonderful what? And all Guru Maharaj Ji is asking is … I mean, nothing. We give our mind more love than that every minute, every second, every day, and Guru Maharaj Ji is saying, "Can I have a little bit?" And even that He's not insisting on. It's, "No, you want this Knowledge, you want My Love, so have it, and then will you please give Me some love, would you please make a little effort, would you please take that step for Me? Because I want to be with you, I want you. It's a double sided emotional,

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fantastic emotional story, really that's what it is. It's incredible.

Guru Maharaj Ji is saying to His devotees, He says, "I want you", and the devotee in his true heart is saying, "Guru Maharaj Ji, I want You." And it's just like those arms are out, that desire becomes strong, that love becomes strong, and somewhere in between there is that barrier of mind which is blocking that communication. And Guru Maharaj Ji is constantly saying, "I want you, I want you, I want you, I need you, I need you." And mind comes in and says all these things, says all these crazy things. Now I know that mind is very strong, mind is a thing that won't let you just sit down and listen to satsang and enjoy that satsang and be in the bliss of that satsang. And what has that mind given us in our lives? What has that mind given us. Confusion. Given us no hope. And everything that Guru Maharaj Ji has given us is so incredible, so can't we premies make that little effort to put that love in front, can't we put that little effort to just have that understanding, can't we put that little effort to pay or even try to repay Guru Maharaj Ji by any possible means that He wants?

The confusion of mind grows every day, bigger, bigger, bigger; stronger, stronger, stronger. Mind learns more ways to attack us than we could possibly dream of. It's ultra-fantastic how crazy that mind really is, and what Guru

Maharaj Ji has to save us from, and what Guru Maharaj Ji is saving us from. And if only we could see, if only we could see that. Look, maybe there are people here who think that they are not crazy, and I'm glad if you think that you're not crazy, but you are a little crazy. If you think that you're not crazy …

We're all a little crazy, I'm crazy, you know. (Cries of "No!") I'm crazy, of course I'm crazy, don't say no! I'm crazy for that love, you know, I'm crazy to come and - I'm crazy about the programs, I'm crazy about premies, I'm crazy about that Love, so I'm crazy too. So, that kind of craziness doesn't do anybody any harm. Believe me, there is good craziness. But the craziness that mind develops: That can do us a lot of harm, that can hurt us. To be crazy about Guru Maharaj Ji, what could be more wonderful than that?

But instead of being crazy about Guru Maharaj Ji, we become crazy with our minds, crazy in our concepts. That story that I was telling in Tucson; to me, every time I read that story it just really feels so incredible. And what I was saying is, that there is this whole oasis, there's this incredible Guru Maharaj Ji's shelter, there is this incredible Guru Maharaj Ji's Love, there is everything that we could possibly desire, there is everything that we could possibly need, and Guru Maharaj Ji has given us that. And our mind says, no, no, there is a better oasis somewhere else. No, no, no, this is not good enough, go somewhere else. But everywhere it's just desolate and desolate and desolate.

You know I like to drive. I started to drive when I was very, very little, I started to drive when I couldn't reach the pedals. Somebody else had to do the pedals and I steered. And you know I've driven a lot of places and I like to drive, and yet sometimes in Malibu for days I won't go out. It's so crazy out there, it's so absurd out there, it's so weird out there, that it's absolutely hopeless, almost. And of course, you know by Guru Maharaj Ji's Grace nothing is hopeless. I couldn't

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believe it in Rome. There I was standing on the street, in this little alley, getting a visa. Just came out and there was this old man walking with a suitcase, when here comes this motorbike with a couple of guys on it and - zip - just stole his suitcase and ran away. The guy was yelling and screaming at them you know; probably all he ever had was in it and it just got zipped. And you look at that situation and what is our hope? You know when people used to go to a battlefield, it was really a trip that used to happen, to wish them good luck, give them mascot. Now it's always like that. You don't know if you might go out, and it's questionable if you will return.

And so premies, that oasis we leave, that incredible place we let go of because we listen to our mind. Guru Maharaj Ji says, "Don't do that, please don't do that, there is no other oasis, this is the only oasis". And maybe to people, what proof do you have, that this is the only oasis? Do you have an aerial picture so I can see? Proof, proof, proof, proof. Maharaj Ji says, "Listen I don't have any proof, you will just have to take my word for it." And that's where the faith comes in. And he says, "There's nothing around, it's desolate." So you say, "He thinks it's desolate. Out there it's full of fun, out there it's full of charm and He's telling me that everything is in the oasis." And you go out of the real oasis.

And there you are, out of the real oasis. You look out and there's this craziness and desolation, you know, dry; you see carcasses everywhere, and mind says, "Oh, this is just part of the Disneyworld; just keep on going, it gets better as you go." Yeah, that makes sense. This is just a little moat-type of trip, you know, just a little desert. And you walk just a little bit further and it gets even more desolate and more desolate and more desolate. And because this mind was the one that had been giving you all these instructions to walk out there, you turn around to mind and say, "What now man? I'm thirsty, I'm hungry, I'm tired, I'm hot."

You look everywhere, and there's no mind. It's gone, giggling away, "I got you, I got you." You know that's it, and you go, "Man why? Why didn't I listen to Guru Maharaj Ji? Why didn't I just surrender, why didn't I just let go of my craziness of mind? Why did I have to hang on to this craziness to find this out? Isn't this the hard way?" And there you are thinking, reminiscing how beautiful it is back in the oasis, the greenery and the beautiful cool water, just beautiful. And then you look up and you see these great big birds flying up in the sky. These birds know. This really does happen sometimes in the desert; these things spot a living thing in the desert somewhere and they start to circle it, because they know it's going to go.

This buzzard has been circling you ever since you left the oasis and you didn't even notice it. Mind said, "Oh those are aeroplanes, flying in a circle always on top of your head". Didn't you sense that it couldn't be aeroplanes flying always on top of your head? Oh, it's okay. You take those steps, you keep walking and all of a sudden you look up and there are these buzzards just ready to strike you, ready to get you. And you look down; it's just a rattle snake, he wants you too.

And it's just like, where are you? What is this? This rattle snake is ready to strike, up there the buzzards are ready

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to eat you, it's all over. And of course there's this whole feeling of frustration. "My God, what have I done, what have I done? I've blown it and is there any way I can get back to the oasis without getting it? I can't even move. If I move this rattle snake will strike me. What can I do? I'm stuck, it's checkmate for me." All that humbleness just pours in: "Oh my God anything, anything. I'll give you anything. Just ask for it and it's yours. Get me out of here, get me out of this situation." What can you do? You can cry, but what's going to happen if you cry?

When you give up all your hopes, when everything is dead, when everything is gone, when everything is over, when it's all finished, it's all gone, it's all dead, and when that true surrender for even a moment strikes you, Guru Maharaj Ji comes and picks you up, and takes you to His oasis. He takes you to His place where you always wanted to be. And you know, I mean that's so wonderful, it's so incredible. Do we really deserve that, to even be able to go back to the oasis?

I mean, who are we to be able to deserve to go back to the oasis? What have we done in this life that might be worth it? Nothing. It's just tumbling boo-boos one after another, one after another; that's all we've done in this life. But that's not the way how we'll be able to really get out of here. Out of this mind. Only by Guru Maharaj Ji's Grace. Only by Guru Maharaj Ji's Love. Only by Guru Maharaj Ji's affection. I know that maybe everybody has got a justification for Grace. Oh, Grace isn't really Grace, it's this and it's that, what have you. But to me, those are all theories, those are all hypothetical things, because you don't know! What I have experienced isn't a theory, it is real. That Grace is real, that love is real, and it saves us so many, so many, so many times. And I've experienced that's how my Guru Maharaj Ji saved me. It was nobody's grace, it was nobody's trip except Guru Maharaj Ji's. No justifications, no ratifications.

You know, this happened in Italy: Where I was staying. Right behind the residence there was a lake, a great big lake, and I was on this little rubber boat. I was just zipping across in this boat and I saw this yellow line dragging. I was just going as fast as the engine was going to go. And I saw this yellow line dragging and I figured maybe I should just pull it in; and later I realized you didn't have to do that, that's the way the line was, it wasn't dragging either. And so I let go of the engine - and the engine wasn't going to go anywhere, it was pretty stiff - and I reached forward. As soon as I did that, as soon as I just grabbed forward, it threw the balance of the boat off. And it just whipped me out of the boat and I was in the water, and I guess at the same time, because of that action, the boat started circling.

And premies, it was such an incredible experience for me. As soon as that happened - nobody has taught me how to swim, never, and I know I can't swim, (somehow I managed to swim around the swimming pool, but that time it was nothing) - there I was, swimming: Swimming, you know. And the boat was circling me, and it was going as fast as it could, as fast, as fast, as fast as it could and it was like, I couldn't even go anywhere. Where could I go? I couldn't swim fast enough, and if I tried to do that, the propellor would hit me. And I knew that if the propellor gets you, it gets you pretty good. And

I tried to hang on to the boat. I couldn't, because the boat was going around and around and very soon I would get dizzy, so I had to let go. I tried to climb in the boat, but as soon as the wave would come, the whole boat looked like it was going to flip over.

It was just like this mind. Once it throws you over, what chance have you got? You try to climb aboard, or you try to even - you can't do anything, it's just got you. You know, it was such a Grace. Premies saw this, and so they jumped in the water, and it was like they could never have gotten there, never. But it's completely Guru Maharaj Ji's Grace that here I am sitting on my custom-designed chair, otherwise it could have been all over right then and there in that lake. And you could say, oh, it was your luck; but luck only comes to lucky people, and lucky people are only those who have surrendered their lives to Guru Maharaj Ji, and that's it. So luck only comes to those. And it wasn't luck, it was pure, hundred per cent, natural Grace.

So that mind, that factor that's always against us, can get us; it has the potential of getting us. What I'm trying to say, is that I'm not trying to kid you when I say that the mind can zap you, the mind can get you. It can get you. And we have to be aware of that, and do something, and the only thing we can do to avoid that, is to surrender to Guru Maharaj Ji. So it's only our effort, premies, that's going to really do it. Because to me, that was it - what can you do? I can't swim, I couldn't even swim a … all that happened in the middle of the lake, and the next thing I knew I was on a boat and everything was okay, everything was fine.

In our concepts we ask for Grace. "Oh, Guru Maharaj Ji, could you give me the Grace so that, you know, my apple tree will bear some fruit this winter? Oh, Guru Maharaj Ji could you give the Grace?" - I mean, it's so absurd, it's so

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crazy, we always count on that Grace. What have we done in our lives to be able to do that, what have we done in our lives to count on that Grace? Absolutely nothing, as far as I'm concerned. But it comes, Guru Maharaj Ji does help. So when he does

something good it's, "Oh, yeah, you know, I did that, isn't that incredible, isn't that beautiful." When everything is a boo-boo, "I guess there was no Grace." We always keep pulling it so close, we always keep nailing it down - really we can't just keep taking chances, you know. We just can't keep taking chances in our lives, because what chance do we have anyway? We have got none, and we have to stop taking those chances with ourselves, with that mind, and put all your odds with Guru Maharaj Ji - your whole life with Guru Maharaj Ji. Guru Maharaj Ji's not going to take your life and chew it up, Maharaj Ji's really going to bring the true purpose of your life to you, Maharaj Ji's going to bring the true meaning of your life to you, Guru Maharaj Ji's going to give you back your life the way it should be, the way it was supposed to be.

So anyway premies, I hope I will see you this evening and I think tomorrow we have a movie lined up of Shri Maharaj Ji. And after that, I think the day after tomorrow, another movie will be lined up (I hope it gets here - it's fresh out of the lab - hopefully it gets here), it's about Holi. You always wanted to watch a movie didn't you? It's not with Steve McQueen - it features Guru Maharaj Ji, and so I hope you all watch it.

So premies, hope I see you this evening. Thank you very much: And all the premies who haven't had Darshan, this is it today please, if you haven't had Darshan. Please, premies who have had Darshan, don't go through twice. There is no point to it, because I can bar you from coming through the Darshan line, ever. Don't take a chance like that. I just might: There's no point in trying to prove to yourself that you're absolutely lucky, you might not be. And why is this said, don't come through the Darshan line twice; is it because I don't want you to see me? It's not for that reason, but there are other brothers and sisters who haven't yet been given that opportunity. Please let them go through. Someday, maybe we will have a month long program, then we can have two Darshans. So far we've only got this little program: it's

very little I think, not big enough. I just can remember - all these days are all mixed up - it was like yesterday was the first day. The program to me has just started, you know, and yet here we are, today is the ninth … I hope it's the ninth, I think it's the ninth. (Maybe I go back and forth in time; today's the tenth, today's the eighth.) So let's give those brothers and sisters who have not had the opportunity to have Darshan yet, give them that opportunity: You have already had that opportunity.

And so premies, there is that too, you know, people here and there. I remember, because every night like in Tucson or in Philadelphia after the Darshan had finished, I still kept sitting there; looked to the premies, Marino or whoever is in charge of the Darshan stage. "Everybody gone through? That's it?" And they go, "That's it." And probably one premie will come tumbling through. But the next day he comes up to me and goes, "Maharaj Ji, there's a few premies who have missed Darshan." To me, it's just like, Marino, what are you doing? You told me that everybody had gone through. So I told him, why don't you go get me the reasons why they didn't make it. You wouldn't want to know the reasons - spacing out here, spacing out there, everywhere. So don't do that, don't space out if you haven't had Darshan.

And again, the program will, I think, continue. And thank you very much.

32 The Golden Age