Guru Maharaj Ji's satsang at Hans Jayanti, Kissimmee, Florida, on the afternoon of Thursday 8th of November, 1979.

So dear premies, this festival is really flying away. There are just a couple more days left for this festival. And for me, I've completely lost track of time. My watch doesn't have dates on it or days. You have to go around asking people.

Last night it was really funny because I asked this premie what time it was. And I asked him about twelve o'clock midnight. And he looked at his watch. It's a calendar watch. He couldn't tell me because it was stuck in between two days. You could see the seven and he didn't know what the other number was, eight or six.

And just to come and to focus on one thing, just to listen to satsang, just to completely open up to that experience - and you lose track and you lose sight and you lose everything. I mean, even in trying to visualize what the Miami residence looks like I just really don't know what anything looks like. I don't know what the airport looks like where I came in. Because when we can completely remove ourselves from all those things - because we have the capacity to do so. We can be "one- focused." We can be one-pointed. We can be completely focused with our mind, body and soul on one experience of that Knowledge.

And then nothing really matters. And that's just such an example. It seems to me this is exactly what Guru Maharaj Ji does to the devotees when he comes into this world.

Okay, this world is there. And if we believe that this world is nonexistent, for instance, that doesn't mean this world will become non-existent. This world is always there. There is water under this land. Over there. there is a lot of … from all the overflow from the toilets over there. I mean, what isn't around? What isn't around? There is water up there in those clouds. And there is water everywhere.

And what we have to do is we have to remove ourselves from that. And all these things that exist in this world - we have to look at those things as the illusion, as the maya, as something. Somebody had to compare everything that exists in this world to something and say, "This is illusion." Somebody would have to first see the reality to understand that this whole world is an illusion.

Because this world sure doesn't look like an illusion. When you walk right up to a wall full force and bang against it and break your nose, it definitely doesn't look like an illusion. It's real. Or if you cut your hand off with a knife, that knife is not an illusion. That knife is real. Or if a car runs over your foot, that car is real.

Okay. So these things are real then. But why does everybody keep calling them illusion? Why do all these saints call them illusion? All these people who have experienced the experience of Knowledge, experienced Guru Maharaj keep calling these things illusion.

What is illusion about them? Why are they so elusive?

So many times I have said, "This is just an illusion." But every time I hit my hand on the arm of my chair my hand doesn't keep going. it stops. Because by my definition of what is real and what is illusion, this is real. Ask any person in this world. They have a definition of what is illusion and what's real.

One time I got this magic set - I was going to do some magic for Hansi - and what it contained was two soda cans. And they were both hollow inside. And in the very back of them, they had two holes where you could place your thumbs. So you take one glass of water and lift one can and you show it to everybody, "Look. It's empty. There's nothing in it. There is the glass." And you lift the other one and show there is also nothing in there.

But the magic trick is that there are two glasses. There's not one. There are two glasses. When you lift the one can, you force your thumb through that hole and lift the other glass up with the can. And with the other can you don't do that. And the glass still remains there. Then you say all these stupid words or whatever.

It was really funny to read the instructions on how to perform this magic. Because there are so many other magic tricks you can perform without those instructions. Basically what it said is, you just press your hand right

Golden Age 7

Prem Rawat (Maharaji) At His Birthday Party,  Miami, 10th December, 1979 "You have to face it
that there is a certain
reality to this world. But
the only reality to this
world is that it's not real.
That's the only thing that's
real in this world - that
it's not real. That's the
truth about this world -
that it's not Truth.

through there. And this time, instead of picking up the other glass with the other hand, leave that glass there. And so the illusion is that you moved one glass from one can to the other can without doing anything. I mean, that's your magic.

To us, that's an illusion. It's an illusion because we are being tricked. That's not the reality. The reality is that there are two glasses. In reality, there are two things. And it's the way that it's being presented to us that makes it an illusion.

Now, if we don't know of a second thing, if we don't know that there is something else existent in this world which is really real. then everything in this world is real to us. But not according to the definition of Guru Maharaj Ji. Sure, I can feel this chair, it's there. But it's only an illusion. Even my body is an illusion.

It's like this: One day it happens that you're performing your magic trick and the glass slips. All of a sudden there you have it: two glasses on the table. And everybody goes, "Ha, ha, ha. You stupid magician."

For everything that we call our own, for everything that we call real, one day it happens: there is the carcass just lying there. Do what you want to do with it. That response - there is the husband and he's always liked his wife. And every day, every morning, he gets up and kisses his wife. And his wife kisses him back. And everything. And then one day there is the carcass of his wife. He comes and kisses her and she doesn't do anything.

That thing that he was so attached to is right there. The thing that he loved so much, that form, that's right there. But it only appears to be that that's what he's attached to, in fact, that that's what's real. And yet, that's not real because something happened. A reality, the Truth, left that body and now it's just a fake.

You might see a girl or a girl sees a boy and: love at first sight. What do you see? Do you see the soul? Do you

8 Golden Age

see that Truth inside that person and then you fall in love at first sight? You just see that body. And one day that body turns into a carcass and it's no more love at first sight, second sight, third sight or fourth sight. As a matter of fact, it's so deploring to even see the dead body. It's so ridiculous to even see the dead body that all you feel like doing is burying it. Just put it in a box, close the box and that's it.

So if somebody can really see that, if somebody can see that there is something beyond all that, if somebody can see the true reality; then for them this world becomes an illusion.

Because. to me, why is this an illusion? Because there was a time that this chair was non-existent. Actually, this chair is not the same chair that was made here a year ago. That was another one. This is shorter in specifications. It's smaller.

Doesn't go that high and it's not that wide. And it's a lot, lot lighter. Two people can pick it up very easily while the other one, four people broke their backs picking it up.

Maybe most of you didn't know that. To most of you, perhaps, this was the chair that I sat on a year ago. Now what happened? What happened? All of a sudden, it's not. Here you could have been believing, "Wow. That chair. That's really a beautiful chair. It's really a nice chair. There it is. Look at it. Do you like it? Guru Maharaj Ji had it a year ago."

And no. It's not. It's not the same chair I had a year ago. This was built in turn. And that's the relativity of this world. It's all relative.

And what Guru Maharaj Ji tries to show us in this world is what's beyond all those concepts - beyond - what is really the … This is just a mirage. There are even theories that the way the sun is and the way the Earth is, somewhere there is a total reflection of this entire world. And you and I are also in that world. Somebody once told me this theory a long time ago. You stopped and you listened to it, and then all you could say is, "Come on. You idiot!"

But there is this whole theory that there is a world in which everything is backwards because it's just a reflection. Or maybe we are the reflection. And when you start throwing in those kind of figures, it's very confusing - "we are just a reflection, or there is a world that's our reflection. And perhaps if we have a mole on this side, in that world we have the mole on this side, just like looking at yourself in a mirror. If this were the arm that hurts, then that's the arm that hurts in that other world. Whatever we do, every action is duplicated. Whatever we think everything is duplicated. Where we walk, every tent, everything. In England they drive on the right side, in America they drive on the left side, in that world." You don't have to get involved in that theory because it doesn't make a difference. You're still here. And you have to face it that there is a certain reality to this world. But the only reality to this world is that it's not real. That's the only thing that's real in this world - that it's not real. That's the truth about this world - that it's not Truth.

And this is what Guru Maharaj Ji tries to show us. Because we get involved. We think that what we have put in our little boxes is good enough. We are the kind of people … like this one apprentice to this doctor. He would keep asking his doctor, "When are you going to let me become a doctor?"

And the doctor would say, "Just wait. Just watch. Just be my apprentice. And maybe someday you can become a doctor." And he was really impatient, really impatient. And one day these people came running up to the doctor. And they said. "Oh, doctor, please help us. There is a camel and this camel is dying. It swallowed this fruit and it's dying. And its choking on this fruit."

So the doctor said. "Okay, let's go", and went over there and there was this camel lying on its side and kicking. It was choking. So what the doctor did was he took one stone and put it under the neck of this camel, took another stone and hit him really hard. And what it did, basically, is break that fruit that was choking him. And the camel swallowed it and got up and everything was fine. apprentice took one look at it land said, "That's it. That's how this guy cures everything. This was the ultimate case. This camel was definitely going to die." In his mind that was it. He knew the secret. He could now cure anything he felt like. And so he just told the doctor, "Well, I'm going. That's it."

And the doctor said, "Listen, listen. Don't even think that you ever saw that. Because that's - I mean, I have been a doctor for such a long time. I really have that experience. I know what I'm doing. But you're just a beginner. You don't know what's happening. You don't have the faintest idea what I do."

And he said, "No. Look, I saw it. I can repeat exactly what you did. And so ciao. Thanks for having me but I'm going to go and open my own practice."

And he left, got himself a bag and some doctor's clothes. For him, all it was was a costume, some white coats or whatever he had to get: a bag with a little red cross on it.

And he went and he arrived at this village. And there were these people just running around frantically. And they took one look at him and they ran right towards him. And he said, "What's the matter? What's going on here?"

And they said, "Well, the thing is our mother is dying. And you are the only doctor in this town. Could you please help us?"

And he said, "Of course I can help you." So he got there and he pretended to examine the mother, took her pulse. "Open your mouth wide, do this, do that."

And here she was just about ready to kick the bucket and he said, "Okay, I'll

Golden Age 9

tell you what we will do. Go get me two stones." They got the two stones and they were wondering what he was going to do with these two stones. And he took one stone and put it under the neck of this old woman who was ready to die, and took the other stone and, "barn!" hit her as hard as he could, right on the neck, here she was, really in agony and pain, and all of a sudden she just relaxed.

And he said. "Look. She is cured. She doesn't feel pain any more. She doesn't have any pain. She's not going to die any more."

And there she was, completely dead. He killed her, whatever was left of her. He just killed her. And all her children were grown-up adult sons.

"Did he really cure her? I mean, what he did doesn't look like it'd cure anything. It looked like he killed her."

So they went and they tried to wake her up. He just said, "Look. You can't wake her up. She's just in a very, very deep sleep. That's it."

They said. "Okay. Well, if you have really cured her, why don't you hang around and we'll give you some food?" And they really started taking care of him. And the eldest brother came up to him and said, "Listen. If by any means you killed her, we're going to kill you."

And he was so confident of himself, he said, "Sure. It's okay. I mean, I have cured her. Can't you see? She's just resting."

And she kept "resting" that whole night and that whole day and then all night and then all day. And finally they went up to her and started to shake her. And she had become stiff. They shook her and her whole body shook. And they came running out and grabbed the poor guy.

That's the way sometimes it is with this human being. We see something. We see that, "Yes, that's the way, perhaps, we can accomplish something in our life." And we run for it, seeing something. We want that happiness. Of course, we want that happiness. Of course, we want that experience.

But how do you get that experience? By completely taking … again, there's that story about the wolf in sheep's clothing. That's what we try to do with ourselves. Here we are completely in our own state of mind, completely in our confusion, completely in our ego and we pretend that that's not the case. We pretend that, yes, we are really trying to have an experience of Knowledge. We pretend that, yes, we are happy.

With premies, there is a reason why premies can be happy. But in this world you can really see a lot of people who are actual wolves underneath and have a sheepskin on top. pretending that they are lambs. And it doesn't work like that.

People become so edgy in this world. It's outrageous. You do one thing or you honk your horn or you do anything - say the wrong thing or even look the wrong way - and they'll be right on your throat.

"If we really call from our hearts, Guru Maharaj
Ji will respond. It isn't a matter of being hypocritical
about it or being schizophrenic or anything like
that. It's just real. It's the only real thing. It's
more real than if you press a light-switch, the light
comes on. It's even more real than that.

And how can there ever be an experience manifested? We have to disregard all that. We have to give all that up and totally submerge where Guru Maharaj Ji wants to take us. Then, of course, then surely, there can be an experience manifested.

When we try to follow ourselves, when we try to follow our concepts, when we try to follow our mind, when we try to "hoax our ego up", there is nothing there. We just keep going around in circles. Because there is no experience. We believe, we think, that there is an experience at the end of this, but there isn't.

We all believe - we tend to believe - that by the way I am doing everything, that one day there will be an experience. And you wait for that experience till the very day you die. And it still isn't there. There you are on your deathbed. Where is the experience? Where is that true thing?

We have been given a physical body. There is a purpose for our physical body. It isn't to take and smother lipstick all over it. it isn't to take and do all these things that we do to our body. There is a reason, there is a purpose, for this whole human being.

We come in this world. We are born. I mean, what a sophisticated process it is. It doesn't matter what man tries to do, he can never duplicate this body, never duplicate this being: thousands and thousands and thousands and thousands of cells. There it is and it always works. It just keeps working and working and working.

Look at an airplane. They try to make that airplane sophisticated and it's not even half as sophisticated or a quarter as sophisticated as this body. And yet, with that thing, everything keeps on going wrong. This keeps failing or that keeps happening or a window keeps popping or a tyre keeps blowing.

Because this is a gift. This is a gift from that Perfect Creator. What was the necessity of having trees, having a sky, having stars, having a moon, having this Earth, having water in this world? What was the purpose? There are trees that we can't even eat. We can't do anything with them except climb up and down on them. That's all. But what is the purpose of all those things?

Every little thing that is created has the finest specifications. Everything that is existing - why? What is the purpose? And so many times this is what we get involved in - to find the purpose of those things, as if we don't have a purpose, only those things have a purpose.

We have a purpose, too. When we come to Guru Maharaj Ji, then that purpose is revealed to us. Then we can see that purpose. To me, the significance of Guru Maharaj Ji in a being's life is the … to understand that significance of Guru Maharaj Ji in a being's life is the most incredible thing, to be able to even recognize that.

I see in my life so many times that "if" comes in: If it weren't for my Guru Maharaj Ji, where would I be at? If it

10 Golden Age

weren't for my Guru Maharaj Ji, where would I be at? And it scares me because - ridiculous. Another stupid being in this whole creation. Another dumb face in this whole creation. No purpose, no motive, just living, living, living, living till we die. Living to die one day. Just waiting for that death.

I was just in school and I was getting fairly good grades at that time. First, second: first, second - always: 90-95 marks. Seventy was my lowest. I was involved in it. That was it. I was completely focused in it. To me that was it. To me, there was nothing else that was really even there.

And I completely tried to isolate - as much as I could - myself from that whole school even. Study and go back home and study and go back home, and even though I was so involved in the whole thing, I was bored sick with it.

I mean, I was very little when I received Knowledge. To me, I was very unaware of things. And the more and more I became aware of things, the more and more Ii realized that there is a purpose to everything. The more and more I could see, the more and more I could understand that.

I don't know. I see some of my pictures from a long time ago, when I used to give satsang. I didn't have Knowledge at that time. But I'd get up and give satsang. I remember this one place in Nasik where they had made a little stage for Shri Maharaj Ji. And there were a few premies here and there. I was very little and yet I distinctly remember this. There were just a very few people there and I sat down on the stage. I grabbed the microphone. I started giving satsang. To me … what could I …? I wasn't a philosopher like some of the initiators here. I didn't know if there were seven colors or how many colors there are in the rainbow. I didn't know that the sun goes around the Earth or how big the Earth is or even that the Earth is round. I didn't know anything, really.

But I knew one thing - that there was an incredible force of my Guru Maharaj Ji that was present. That's one thing I could feel. I couldn't feel all the sophisticated things about incarnation and reincarnation. To me, what is reincarnation? I didn't even know what death was. I'd never even seen a dead body.

And to me, if something was squirming and I stepped on it and it stopped squirming, to me, that was it. It just stopped squirming. It died? It never occured to me that it died. I guess kids always go through that age. They see something moving and "thomp!" and you see all the things you squash out. And that's it. They just stopped moving. It died or - if it were alive, "What did I do?" or "What didn't I do?"

But all the ideas weren't there. All the philosophy wasn't there. All the concepts weren't there, I guess. There was only one thing: that there is Guru Maharaj Ji and there is something there. And there are premies …

You might even say I was a bystander, even at that point. I didn't have Knowledge. I knew that there were premies and I knew that that was Guru

Prem Rawat (Maharaji), Kissimmee, Florida, 2nd September, 1979, Hurricane Program

Maharaj Ji. And that was real. That was all real. And Ii just started giving satsang. And I just went at it. I don't even know what I used to talk about. Get up there, tell a little story from my school book and just tell people that we need something. I'd even get up there and try to show people how to meditate. Because that was the thing: you meditate. That's what everybody does - meditates.

Every morning I'd go around knocking on all the doors in Dehra Dun. That's what people would be doing. Sometimes they would be sleeping and I'd tell them to sit up and meditate.

And all of a sudden all the people just started … all the people who were going here and there and doing all the things and … just started to listen. And slowly they all started to gather and gather and gather. And very soon there was a huge crowd.

And I didn't care that there was a huge crowd. To me there was no stage fright at that time. And here I was sitting on a throne that was made for Shri Maharaj Ji. And there I was. Some of the pictures Ii see - I really had short hair, the way it was cut.

And then, all of a sudden, there was this whole thing going on and it was all very blissful. It was all very nice, seeing everybody. And there were all these people who'd come and stand and then sit down. They would come and stand and sit down. Because they would stand there for a little while and they'd get a little tired and they would sit down. And all of a sudden the line started moving further back and further back. And there

Golden Age 15

Prem Rawat (Maharaji), Hans Jayanti, Kissimmee, Florida, Nov 1979 were quite a few people that were gathered there.

And all of a sudden, here comes Shri Maharaj Ji.

And I couldn't find a place to hide. I could find a … because whenever I could see Shri Maharaj Ji coming, I'd just jump off that stage as fast as I could. Because to me it was, "I'm not supposed to be there." It was a very naughty thing to do, perhaps.

But I enjoyed it very much to get up there and give satsang, to talk to the premies. Sometimes I'd even fall asleep right on the stage.

But at first sight of Shri Maharaj Ji: "Bam!" I'd just run out of there, go away somewhere and get involved in playing again.

It was beautiful; it was incredible. Because somehow, by Guru Maharaj Ji's Grace, I knew my place, that when he was not there physically, I could sit on that throne and it didn't matter. And yet, when he was there physically, that wasn't my place to be. I didn't belong on that throne. it was his throne. I was just there playing or it was a game or something I was enjoying. But as soon as his presence was there, there was no way my body could be there even if I wanted it to be there. It would just escape. It would just slide away. It would just disappear.

And he would come smiling and terrific! Incredible radiance! And to me, it was totally incomprehensible. I couldn't comprehend it. I couldn't understand it.

And then I remember one time there was a program that was supposed to be held in Dehra Dun. It was less than the distance across this whole field, maybe half of the distance across this whole field, to my school. And there was this whole playground where the satsang was supposed to be happening. And all these teachers were supposed to go. And the school was really close and all these people were supposed to go.

Dehra Dun is a little town. It's the Indian "hillbilly" town, you might say. Actually, it is a very "civilized town" for that matter, by the standards, because the people who came to Dehra Dun first were Englishmen. They founded that place. That's where they would go to retire. They thought it was beautiful. Because all it is is a valley. It's a gigantic valley. And to get there you have to go through these jungles. And there are even lions in that jungle. Real jungle jungle. And the other side was completely surrounded by mountains. It was just really beautiful. It had rivers and streams and blaH, blah, blah. "Nice."

And you get to know everybody in that whole place. There's only one main strip in the whole place. And that's it. And to me it was …

And there was another program that Shri Maharaj Ji had scheduled. And to me, this is really a precious memory. Because I see that if we really call from our hearts, Guru Maharaj Ji will respond. It isn't a matter of being hypocritical about it or being schizophrenic or anything like that. It's just real. It's the only real thing. It's the only true thing. It's more real than if you press a light switch, the light comes on. It's even more real than that.

Because there were these other programs that Shri Maharaj Ji had scheduled. And when it came the time to ask him, it's like, "Are you going to go to Dehra Dun?" And it was like, "No. He is there. He can just take care of the whole program himself."

And to me, I wanted him there very desperately. And I really cried out, "I really want you here." And lo and behold! He did come. He came to the program. And it was really incredible.

And then after the whole thing - here he

16 Golden Age

Prem Rawat (Maharaji), Hans Jayanti, Kissimmee, Florida, Nov 1979 is! Waiting to listen to his satsang, he tells me to get up and give satsang in English. And that was a real nightmare in front of all your teachers. Say the wrong thing and you know you're going to get it the next day in the classroom. "Why don't you listen to me, what I tell you?"

But you can see that so far you trust yourself to Guru Maharaj Ji … Because if I would have been really into that, I wouldn't have been able to speak a word of anything. Because I am not real. I have to understand that I am not real, that all I am is a lot of thoughts. That's my reality - a lot of thoughts, a lot of concepts. Twenty-four hours a day in the stage of dream, in the stage of being awake, what am I? What am I?

You know, this physical being that we all call ourselves or think that we are - we are so fragile that we can break any moment. Here we are. This morning I got up and I didn't feel good. I just didn't feel good. And there it is. There is this whole being, there is this whole physical body, and yet something can happen. And there it is. It's no good. The thing that we rely on so much, the thing that we trust so much, there isn't anything to it. It's existence is - is it there or is it not there?

Just before Hans Jayanti I really was sick. I really had a bad, bad cold. And you have a sore throat and your head hurts, your whole body hurts, and your head feels spaced-out and everything. And I was just lying on the bed and

"If Guru
Maharaj Ji can
become real for
us, then there
will be no
problem even
making that effort.
To me it's as
simple as that.
If Guru Maharaj Ji
Ji tells you to
do something,
you'll do it

there was a picture of Shri Maharaj Ji. And just looking at it, it was like, "Yes, there is agony. And there is a lot of pain in my body." And yet, if I can just look at Guru Maharaj Ji and see him as real and me as just like a thought, just like a concept, then it's okay. Then it makes sense. Then there is a rationale behind it all. Then it can be. Then, yes. Then I am a human being. Then I can even say, "Yes. I am alive."

But on my own merits I can't say, "I'm alive." On my own merits I can't say, "I am existing." Because what I am that day is what I think. That's the extent of it all. If I feel good that morning: great. If I feel bad that morning: no good.

How easy is it to blow a whole day? How easy is it? It's super-simple. "Wake up on the wrong side of the bed", will do it.

Sometimes you're really funny about the way you have to do things: crawl in the right side of the bed and wake up on the right side of the bed. And wake up at the right time. And do this or do that. Wake up to ten minutes earlier than you're supposed to wake up and that'll blow your whole day: the whole day long you think about how you could have had that ten more minutes of sleep and feel miserable all day long.

Golden Age 17

Prem Rawat (Maharaji), Hans Jayanti, Kissimmee, Florida, Nov 1979"Every single day of that
festival, what Shri Maharaj Ji
had to give to the premies, there
was no way those premies could
ever, ever accept it all, ever take it
in. Because it was endless; it was
incredible. The word 'incredible' is only
made for one person. The word
'perfect' is only made for
one person.

And when you look at Guru Maharaj Ji, when you see only Guru Maharaj then the ten minutes doesn't matter. Then the stage … I mean, this is my experience. Looking at Guru Maharaj Ji and believing that only Guru Maharaj Ji is real - that there I was with a sore throat and an aching head and an aching body - I could see that for that moment that I completely concentrated, for that moment that only Guru Maharaj Ji was the only thing alive - the house didn't exist, I didn't exist, the whole world didn't exist. Much like that whole principle of the toilet. You go to flush it and the whole world disappears. There is nothing in front of you. And it's much the same thing, except I wasn't sitting on the toilet. I was sitting at the Feet of my Guru Maharaj Ji. And then everything was okay. My throat didn't hurt because it didn't matter if it hurt or not.

All that pain and suffering goes away when that happens, when complete surrender happens, when complete dedication happens. My head was hurting so much, you might say that I even hated to think about anything. What could you think about? There you are. "What's going on? What's going on at the complex?" or "What's going on at the ashram? What's going on downstairs?" And you didn't even want to think about what's going on anywhere. It hurt to think. All you could do is just lie there.

And so premies, to me, in my experience, all these things that I am saying are real to me. And I see how precious even - here I am, twenty-one. Going to be twenty-two this year. God! I never thought of twenty-two. Never. Twenty-one, yes. Never twenty-two. "Twenty-one." I always wanted to go vote when I was in Dehra Dun because the voting place was right next door. You could see the planning office right next door. There was only one wall that separated the office and the residence. And all these people would come and line up in front of the residence to go vote. And I just really wanted to go and vote. And they'd tell me. "You can't vote till you're twenty-one."

18 Golden Age

Prem Rawat (Maharaji), Hans Jayanti, Kissimmee, Florida, Nov 1979 And so it was like, "Twenty-one. That's what I want to be: twenty-one."

"You can't get your driver's licence till you're twenty-one."

"Twenty-one, yeah. I want to be twenty- one so I can get my driver's licence. So I can get this, so I can get that. So I can get all these things."

And here I'm twenty-one. It's almost over. Twenty-one's almost finished. And I'm going to be twenty-two years old. Never thought of twenty-two. I can't say I'm getting old right now. I feel quite young for that matter. I feel fine. All that. But I'm twenty-two and then it's twenty-three and then it's twenty-four and twenty-five. And I don't care if it's twenty-five or twenty-six or twenty- seven, twenty-eight.

I can care, yes. I can get into it and I can start caring about it. And then what is going to happen? I'm going to feel miserable at twenty-two. I'm not supposed to feel miserable - maybe when I'm eighty years old. I'm going to start feeling that misery when I'm twenty-two? Why feel the misery at twenty-two? Let eighty come first. Then you can be miserable. If even that happens.

But. you see, that is what my concept … how long …? Everybody has a concept about how long they want to live. Everybody has a concept about how they want to look. That is the reason why some people tie single-knot and some people tie double-knot ties. Everybody has an idea how they want to look, how they want to comb their hair, how they want to comb their eyebrows, how they want to comb their moustaches, how they want to cut their moustaches - everything.

Yes, if those things can just become secondary, if those things can become almost non-existent, and the only thing becoming real and only thing being real in life is Guru Maharaj then the whole experience is alive, then the whole experience is real. Because you are with something that is going to be real.

I guess one thing you could say is that a little pilot fish never goes hungry. Its always full. Because what it has attached itself to is a shark that's always hungry. And when that shark eats, whatever the little leftovers are, the pilot fish gets. And the shark, I guess, is always attacking.

What is the constant source of experience? if I always want an experience in my life, then I have to first of all find a constant source of experience. What is a constant source of experience in this whole world? Guru Maharaj Ji. Guru Maharaj Ji is a constant source of experience. When I attach myself to Guru Maharaj I will constantly have that experience, too.

To make these things become real for me, to make these things become real for every one of us - that is the most incredible thing that has to actually happen, that has to actually manifest. Real. Real - not a theory, not a concept. It's there as a concept but that concept is perhaps mingled with zillions of other little concepts. And it has no significance.

To me, whenever I used to see Shri Maharaj Ji, it was real. My mind didn't work. There was nothing. Sometimes he'd get mad, really just thunder and storm, you know.

Hurricane is just a little whoof of a wind compared to when he would just really manifest in that way. Everybody would be completely super, super scared. Everybody. The neighbors or anybody walking by - just everybody - completely would lose it.

Sometimes you would look at the planning office - the one I was talking about. There'd be all these people working in there, right? And Shri

Golden Age 19

Prem Rawat (Maharaji), Hans Jayanti, Kissimmee, Florida, Nov 1979

Maharaj Ji would be in the backyard some day. And you could see the backyard from this office. And if he'd get mad at somebody - you would not even see a single person out in that office. Everybody would sort of just disappear somewhere, didn't want to be yelled at or be a part of it or anything.

And when I would sometimes see that form, when I would see that manifestation, of Shri Maharaj Ji in that form, it's like, "Mind, where are you? Why don't you go and stand in front of …?"

Not me. I didn't want to. But my mind could go and stand in front of Shri Maharaj Ji and get completely smothered, get completely chopped up into little pieces. And that'd be wonderful.

And its like you can never find it, then. You can never find your … That's the stage of immortality. Because it lasts forever. When Shri Maharaj Ji would be really angry at somebody, it wouldn't end. For me, it wouldn't end. It'd be going on for "hours and hours" - and probably it'd be ten minutes. But it'd be going on for "hours and hours and hours and hours." And here I was trembling and shaking. Didn't even … it's just incredible.

And then to see Guru Maharaj Ji's love. Here he would really be angry or mad at somebody - really mad. Really mad!

I remember there was this one guy. And every time Shri Maharaj Ji would see him. Shri Maharaj Ji'd get really upset with him. Really upset! And he would take his cane and start letting him have it. And he would take his shoe and start letting him have it. And it was incredible because this guy, just about every week that Shri Maharaj Ji was there, would show up.

There would be other people who would come. All they would get to is the door and then they would leave. But this premie had the fortune, you might say, of getting called all the way into Shri Maharaj Ji's veranda. And there he would sit and this guy would sit not three feet away from him. And he enjoyed every moment of it.

One day I was looking at this whole scene happening. Shri Maharaj Ji had a stick and he was hitting him to the point where even the stick broke. And yet, there was not one single mark on this guy's body. Shri Maharaj Ji almost broke his shoe hitting him and there was nothing happening. This guy wasn't feeling a single pain. I don't know. For this guy it was complete lila, I guess, even though he had done something that he shouldn't have done. I guess he really got into his mind, he really got into his ego or whatever.

We would all need a part of that little anger of Guru Maharaj Ji every day in our lives. And perhaps that would always set us straight and keep us walking so straight that we would never think about mind. No concepts would ever happen. And we would be guaranteed saved: a hundred percent.

20 Golden Age

Prem Rawat (Maharaji), Hans Jayanti, Kissimmee, Florida, Nov 1979 But for this premie - and this guy was a manmut, a guy who has …

You know what manmut means?

Manmut is what has been described as a devotee who is not a devotee, who has been sent beyond everything. A manmut is the worst. That's it. If there's the pits, then that's the pits. That's the end. That's the back room of hell. That's the hell of hell. And what manmut means is: the follower of mind. But before being a manmut, you have to be a devotee. First you have to be a devotee, follow Guru Maharaj Ji, and only then you can become a manmut. Because you leave Guru Maharaj Ji and start following your mind. And then you end up in the pits. That's it.

And so many times, this guy'd be just completely blissed out. He'd come there, stand there, make himself known. And there'd be Shri Maharaj Ji in the backyard or something. And he would say, "Let him come here."

So many people would come so many times in a day and they would all be turned away at the gate. There were these devotees, I guess, who try and try to have an experience of Knowledge. And they haven't really done anything wrong. And they're just told, "Go back. Come later."

But whenever this guy would show up, even when Shri Maharaj Ji was out driving and he would be standing there: "Stop the car." Right at the gate, he'd come out there and there'd be this guy. It's like, he was the luckiest manmut. He was the most fortunate sinner in this world, I guess, in one sense. Because every time Shri Maharaj Ji - somehow, sometime - he would get a whoof of it…

And one time I was travelling with Shri Maharaj Ji and somehow he got a whoof of it. Shri Maharaj Ji saw him on a roadside. And the car was going really fast. And Shri Maharaj Ji spotted him and said, "Back the car up. Go to him." Stopped in front of him, got out and let him have it.

It's just beautiful. In one sense it's just beautiful because so many premies never could get Shri Maharaj Ji's darshan. This guy would not only get Shri Maharaj Ji's darshan but personal attention. Somehow in that maybe the devotees will find the bliss. (Not being manmut. You don't have to go out there and become a manmut so that's what Guru Maharaj Ji will do to you every day.) But Guru Maharaj Ji has that compassion. And Guru Maharaj Ji has that love.

Because to me, that became obvious. If Guru Maharaj Ji didn't have that love, why would he say, "Stop the car"? There is this, you might say, highway. And this guy is standing on the side of it. And, "Stop the car", or "Back it up."

The car would go past it. "Was that him?"

"Yes, Maharaj that was him." "Okay. Turn around. Go back."

And then for ten, twenty, fifteen minutes, this would go on. And then, "… and I never want to ever see you again." Close the door and go off.

Two days later he would show up at the residence. Same thing would happen, "… and I never, ever want to see you again." Turn around and that stuff.

But you would see that sometimes he would get angry at somebody and say, "Get out of here. Go away."

Then two minutes later, "Where is he? Call him back. Send people out. Call him back. What's happening to him?"

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Prem Rawat (Maharaji), Hans Jayanti, Kissimmee, Florida, Nov 1979"Where did you go? What's wrong with you? You shouldn't just leave like that." Because there is that understanding or there is that love. There is that compassion.

One time there was this premie and it really sticks in my head. He just came to Shri Maharaj Ji and he just started complaining about this initiator. And so Shri Maharaj Ji said, "So, we should call that initiator and I should really have it out with him?"

And he said, "Yes, Maharaj Ji. This guy, he's your initiator but he's really bad and he's done all these mistakes."

Shri Maharaj Ji sat there for a little while. And then all of a sudden, out of the blue, he took his sandal off, took his shoe off, and just started beating that premie, really letting him have it. And I guess everybody was shocked. "Why is this guy getting it?"

And Shri Maharaj Ji said. "How dare you have the guts to come in front of me and complain about my initiator. Don't you think I know what's going on out there?"

It's just so much, so much to give, so much to offer. And yet, I felt that - there would be this program in Satyalok, this property outside Delhi. Really outside Delhi - big piece of land or whatever. Big tents. All these premies would come and Shri Maharaj Ji sometimes would stay up all night long giving satsang or dancing or having songs or just sitting there. Whatever would happen. It was just really beautiful.

And I could see that whatever - every single day of that festival - what Shri Maharaj Ji had to give to the premies, there was no way those premies could ever, ever accept it all, ever take it in. Because it was endless; it was incredible.

The word "incredible" is only made for one person. The word "perfect" is only made for one person, not everything else. Every little thing, "How does that toilet look?"

"Perfect." Whatever.

"How did that toilet flush?" "Perfect."

No! it's not made for all that, even though we go around saying it. It's made for only one person and that's Guru Maharaj Ji.

And to be just able to … that's all we have to do. We don't have to become a professor. We don't have to go to a school. To be a devotee, do you have to go to a school? Do you have to learn anything for years and years? Do you have to do anything? Study any books, do anything? I mean, if you study books you'll get more confused. But just be yourself. Just be. Just be completely open. Just be there. Be present, not absent, and Guru Maharaj Ji's love comes through. Guru Maharaj Ji showers that Grace upon every individual. And that's the most beautiful part.

I guess there are things that we can talk about that are ridiculous. Like, for instance, this world. I guess we can sit down and talk about that. And we can talk about how we have to make so much effort in our lives. And we can talk about how spaced out we get at this place. And we can talk about how miserable it is in this world. And we can talk about all these dumb things. How we are all hell-bound and how we are almost at the threshold of hell. I mean, sometimes the initiators let it rip and get a little carried away with it. All these things come out.

And yet we can stop all that for a second and talk about how fortunate we are. We can stop that for a second and talk about how lucky we are, and talk about the opportunity that Guru Maharaj Ji is giving us and the Grace that Guru Maharaj Ji's showering every day. And every day letting ourselves just be premies. I mean, that's the most incredible thing. To me, that's the reason why this Earth was created. That's the reason why the moon was created. That's the reason why the universe was created and that's the reason why every one of us was created to enjoy, enjoy that love of Guru Maharaj Ji, enjoy the love of Grace of Guru Maharaj Ji.

To me, it doesn't matter if this whole world was ready to collapse if we have

22 Golden Age

Prem Rawat (Maharaji), Hans Jayanti, Kissimmee, Florida, Nov 1979 love of Guru Maharaj Ji, if we have Grace of Guru Maharaj Ji. It's okay. We'll still be okay. And that's the most important thing we also have to keep on top of. What is Guru Maharaj Ji giving to us? What's Guru Maharaj Ji offering to every individual, every one of us?

Okay, we all have to make an effort. Look at where the effort is. What is the effort? Here we are like these people with fingers stuck inside their ears who don't want to listen. We can listen but we don't want to listen. We want to listen but we don't want to understand. We want to listen really, through our hearts. But we don't want to listen.

And Guru Maharaj Ji gives us - every moment, every second - that Grace. We reject that Grace of Guru Maharaj Ji. Can you believe it? It isn't like Guru Maharaj Ji's Grace comes off and on, off and on, off and on. Guru Maharaj Ji's Grace is always there.

I guess one initiator got up and told this story about Grace and Guru Maharaj Ji. It really sounds like some premie sitting under the meditation blanket couldn't get focused on Knowledge, on Guru Maharaj Ji, so he just made a story: to dress up Grace as a beautiful woman and dress up Guru Maharaj Ji as an old man. Go to a premie's house. And all these fantastic materials. Guess there is a moral behind it. But the most important thing to me is: Guru Maharaj Ji will shower …

It isn't like Grace is one thing and Guru Maharaj Ji is another. That's the only thing I see wrong in that story. Otherwise it's great. But the only thing is that the basic foundation of the story, the aesthetics of the story, are wrong. Because it isn't like Grace is one thing - the way the story starts out: "Then there was Guru Maharaj Ji and there was Grace and they were both talking to each other."

That's not true. Grace is one thing, Guru Maharaj Ji is … wherever Guru Maharaj Ji is, Guru Maharaj Ji's Grace is.

What is Grace? It's Guru Maharaj Ji's presence. It's Guru Maharaj Ji's radiance. It's Guru Maharaj Ji's mercy. That's what Grace is. And that's not two things. It's one. Because that's it. That's Guru Maharaj Ji's nature. Is "wetness" away from the water? Is wet one thing and water another? No. The nature of water is to be wet. Is the heat one thing and sun another? No, the nature of the

Golden Age 23

sun is to make heat. Is light one thing and sun another? No. That is the nature of the sun, to give light.

And wherever water is, it'll be wet. Wherever sun is, it'll be light. Wherever fire is, it'll be hot.

And wherever Guru Maharaj Ji is, there'll be Grace every minute, every second of the way.

And how fortunate we are to have all that, have this moment. Do we realize? Do we understand that? Do we understand how fortunate it is to be here, right now, sitting on your little chairs with your stomach going, "grrr, grrr," because you're a little hungry and want your lunch? It's lunch time. And all these things that perhaps are going on. But do you understand how lucky you are despite all those things? Hot or cold. Do you understand?

This is the occasion, this is the moment, that every soul is born for: to be with Guru Maharaj Ji. And for that moment to be fulfilled, that is the destiny of this life as far as I'm concerned.

There can be philosophies, there can be … there is our good old philosophy of karma. This is where all the karmas died. Because who has ever deserved anything to be a part of this moment? What karma can you possibly do, what karma can you possibly do that can bring you to the point where you can be physically present when Guru Maharaj Ji is there, listening to Guru Maharaj Ji's satsang? What is it? What can you do? Neither climbing a mountain nor being good to anybody wouldn't bring you here. This is where karma stops. This is where time stops. This is where the dimensions of the world stop. And it can. The world can stop. Only one thing can be alive: just you and Guru Maharaj Ji, you in that moment. And it happens for so many of us.

For so many of us, we don't want to ever forget what day it is today. We have to constantly know what day it is today. For so many of us, sometimes it is, "Oh, Guru Maharaj oh, today is …" (I don't even know what day today is. I guess, Thursday. Is it Thursday? Yeah. I guess it's Thursday.) "Oh, Guru Maharaj Ji, it's already Thursday and Friday and Saturday and that's it?"

There was this whole question about how long is the program? Is the program supposed to be from Sunday to Sunday or Saturday to Sunday? And it's very simple: The program's supposed to be one week. And when I came out here on Saturday I said, "Dear premies, the program doesn't officially begin till tomorrow." And that was Sunday. The program began on Sunday. If you count seven days from that, it ends on a Saturday.

And what happened to this whole week? This is supposed to be this long one-week Hans Jayanti. In your concept, "How am I going to even tolerate it? How am I going to live? Cold showers for seven days. How am I going to shave my beard? How are my clothes going to last for seven days?"

And what happens? There are only two and a half days left. And you just don't feel like going to sleep anymore. You don't want to end the satsang at evening time. You want to keep going and make

"This is where karma
stops. This is where
time stops. This is
where the dimen-
sions of the world
stop. And it can.
The world can stop. Only
one thing can be
alive: just you and
Guru Maharaj Ji, you
in that moment. And
it happens for so
many of us.

it as much as possible or whatever. And either way you'll fry. After twelve o'clock all the bodies just roll over to one side and everybody's sleeping.

Because when everything is just right, you can feel it. And it feels really good. And if one thing starts going wrong - and that's where your effort has to be: that when that one thing starts going wrong, you can block it. If you're not hungry, and if you're not hot and cold, and if your chair is comfortable, and everything is perfect; sure you can sit down and listen to satsang, be blissed out, really listen and be really … P.A. system is just right. The wind is just right. The sun is behind those clouds.

And all of a sudden, there it is. And to me, again, it's Guru Maharaj Ji's Grace to even have this piece of land existing in this whole universe right now so that we can sit down and listen to satsang, just to enjoy that, just experience that.

But then one thing happens, like one little, itsy-bitsy drop of water falls on our nose. It could be, for that matter, a bird flying above the clouds. But that one little drop can take us away from that entire experience of the satsang of Guru Maharaj Ji. A moment ago it was wonderful, it was beautiful. You didn't want it to stop. You didn't want to go away. You wanted it to continue on and on. And then one little drop, "poof it's all gone.

And that's where, I guess, our effort has to be: make it consistent. Make it real twenty-four hours. Be always there. Be there when Guru Maharaj Ji calls.

Perhaps all these initiators can get up and give satsang, "Oh, premies, we really have to be there when Guru Maharaj Ji calls."

And it's like, wait a minute. Are we really there when Guru Maharaj Ji calls? Are all the initiators there when Guru Maharaj Ji calls? No. Are the premies there when Guru Maharaj Ji calls? And we have to be there when Guru Maharaj Ji calls. Maybe that's the moment he's going to take us through the threshold. Maybe Guru Maharaj Ji calls a little program and here we are, "Oh. I can't go for this reason. I can't go for that reason. And I can't do this. And I can't do that." And who knows what that experience is that Guru Maharaj Ji wants to give us? We certainly can't sit there and speculate, we can't afford to speculate. We can't sit there and imagine.

If Guru Maharaj Ji can become real for us, then there will be no problem even making that effort. To me it's as simple as that. If Guru Maharaj Ji tells you to do something, you'll do it. If Guru Maharaj Ji tells you to make the effort, you'll make the effort. Guru Maharaj Ji becomes really real.

Guru Maharaj Ji says, "Do satsang, service and meditation." What option do you have other than to sit down and do satsang, service and meditation?

But as long as there is a little bit of us and a little bit of Guru Maharaj Ji, there'll always be an option. And we will always lean a little more towards ourselves than making that attempt to lean a little bit towards Guru Maharaj Ji. And perhaps that becomes our mistake, our greatest, biggest mistake.

So premies, try a little bit more. Premies, thank you very much.

24 Golden Age