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HIDDEN LIGHT

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WASHINGTON D.C.

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AUGUST

     1975

vol. 2 issue 8

Dear Brothers and Sisters,

Many times we talk and have satsang about this big family of ours. It's truly a Divine family because the only reason we are together is because Guru Maharaj Ji has brought us to this point. Our purpose is simple and that is to love. When we love, we help one another along the best we can, sharing our experiences in satsang, comforting one another, and giving each other direction so that we can grow further along the spiritual path.

Sometimes, we are even blind in the ways that our brothers and sisters are helping us. At times we rub against each other which brings up and out parts of our ego that we don't even know exist. It's at these times that it is hard to see Guru Maharaj Ji's blessings and Grace in the world around us. However, these are the times when he really is working on us, cleaning us out.

When we are caught up in what we are going through it seems that misunderstanding naturally takes place between premies and sometimes between one premie and the rest of the world. If communication and love were ever needed, these are definitely the most valuable times.

After seeing our family go through misunderstanding at various times, I've been able to conclude that at these times the solutions are so simple. Meditation is always the answer, of course, and when we are in meditation, communication just naturally happens. If we will just communicate.

If we see something in someone else that rubs us wrong, that we don't like, we usually choose one of many options. We go to a close friend and tell them that this thing is bothering me about so and so, we tell someone we don't know, we meditate and hope the feeling will go away, or we go up to the person who is grating on our nerves and gently discuss the situation. Many times when we try the latter we find that some very beautiful communication takes place. After all, we are all premies, none of us are perfect, but we are trying as hard as we can to be perfect.

If you have a rip in your pants, it is your very good friend who lets you know that there is a rip and suggest that perhaps you should change. When we really care about each other, we really want to be open and up front in our relationships. There is an old saying, "If there is anything that comes between us and blocks our love for each other, let's get it out of the way." It doesn't always get out of the way when we try to look the other way. When we stay open to the Knowledge we stay open to objectively looking at and getting rid of those blocks that come between we human beings.

"There is this whole procedure that the rose flower goes through. And before even the flowers come, have to come the thorns, which hurt you, which aren't so pretty looking. And then one morning when you walk in the garden there is a green bud – doesn't mean anything still. It looks beautiful. There is a hope of something that is going to be there. And then after a few mornings, this green bud just becomes a flower. And it just blooms more and more and more."

Janice asked Dr. John about his reaction to being in the on training program for mahatmas. His reply follows:

Over the past four Years Maharaj Ji has shown me how pure the practice of medicine can become when it's dedicated and coming from him. At the same time the notion of actually giving people Knowledge, of being the vehicle of that moment for Maharaj Ji's Grace, power, and love to a person, kept on floating into my mind.

In the winter Maharaj Ji wanted the premies to fill out applications. I didn't know what to expect.

When Bob first notified me that I would be in Mahatma training, I thought, "What's Maharaj Ji doing? Is he fulfilling my desires or is it something that he wants to do?"

This is Guru Maharaj Ji's show. I just want to be playing the role he wants me to play and not have any ideas about it. Bob said not to have any expectations at all about what this means about my immediate service or service in the future. He said, "Maharaj Ji might keep you as a doctor or in service as a doctor and a Mahatma or just as a Mahatma. Don't form any ecpectations. Just do what you've been doing." That was a great relief. If he hadn't said that my mind would have formed expectations.

The other thing he said is that Maharaj Ji will be watching me very carefully to see how I'm doing. That blissed me out completely. I mean it is true that he's watching us all the time. For me it means if I travel anywhere, DUO directers write down how I'm doing. This is something Maharaj Ji wanted.

I've seen the service of Mahatmas at close hand. I've seen that it is a service where one can get into pride or all kinds of conceeptions of what a Mahatma is. And certainly I wouln't want to experience wome of the falls that the Indian Mahatmas have when they've allowed themselves to get drawn into this. It is simply a service.

A Mahatma is not anymore special than anyone else. We're all the same to Maharaj Ji. It is not a question of what I want. That inclination was in me.

There are things within us that are expressions of Guru Maharaj Ji. When a premie has an inclination towards something that grows over time, feels good, and has alot of energy in it, sometimes the premie will say, "Oh, I'm just going to surrender that." So he just doesn't do anything, he just waits. Well, that is what Maharaj Ji has given him.or her, that feeling to do that particular thing in service. If it is coming from a selfish point, you think, "I want to do that because it will give me this or that." But, if it is just a feeling deep within oneself that one wants to serve, then that's something Maharaj Ji will use to bring that person into action---to be a fuller expression of Maharaj Ji.

There were days in Premnagar ashram when we were all just complete. They were days of Heaven on earth. They were days that were a taste of what things were going to become like. They were so beautiful. Maharaj Ji said many times, "There is no need for high priests. I don't consider Mahatmas as high priests. He is a person doing a particlar servic eassigned to him by Guru Maharj Ji."

When Maharaj Ji first created ashrams he said the whole world will become an ashram. The essence of what it is to be in his shelter, is to be looking just to him for one's sustinence, to be looking to Knowledge for one's food, to be obedient to the Knowledge, and not to do things that don't come from the Knowledge. Everyone is equal but performing certain roles.

There are no married Mahatmas now. But that doesn't mean that in the future someone who is married might not become a Mahatma. I mean we don't know what will happen in the future.

As long as I'm feeling at one with Maharaj Ji, it just doesn't matter.

The following is Susan's story of her experience in natural childbirth. She was in labor for 30 hours:

That night, it was about two o'clock, and I had that big picture of Guru Maharj Ji on the wall in our bedroom. I just looked at the picture and I said, "Guru Maharaj Ji---Good Grief! Things are really getting intense, what am I going to do? It seems to be dragging on forever. I don't think that I can handle this. I feel like I don't want to do this." So I said, "I'm just goiw to sit here and I'm going to meditate." From that point on, before every contraction, I did two things: I prepared myself psychologically and physically. I just made sure my shoulders were relaxed, and I made sure my stomach was relaxed. I meditated really focused, looking in Guru Maharaj Ji's eyes. I really put everything I had just into meditating and breathing deep and accepting what was happening. I just tried to erase all the fears I had in my whole system. Because the fear was just like anxious anticipation, wondering how I was going to do it. So I just meditated really deeply and I noticed that it was such a relief because half the pain was gone. It was still there but I wasn't interested in that pain. I was interpreting it as something that wasn't pain--it was just something I wasn't acquainted with.

It was really beautiful because I had a total refreshment. All my anxiety seemed to go away and I was totally relived because I realized that all I had to do was meditate and trust in Guru Maharaj Ji and I didn't have anything to worry about. He was the one who was in control of the situation anyway.

I just kept on meditating until the midwives came, which was about eight o'clock in the morning. When they came, they just came into the room, and I was just sitting in the lotus position and my fingers were in the right position and everything and they must have thought I was sort of strange. I was looking at Guru Maharaj Ji's picture and I really didn't care since the contractions were getting very intense. She gave me an examination and told me I was seven or eight centimeters dilated. Then they went out of the room and ate breakfast. I heard them say in the kitchen that they wanted to learn meditation since it worked so well during the contractions.

Then the problems came and Maharaj Ji's grace, too. The midwives were trying to get Dr. Brew to come here because the baby was in a posterior position and they were thinking I might have to go to the hospital. The main midwife couldn't get ahold of Dr. Brew-- he put his phone on hold or took it off the hook or something like that. She was really, really getting uptight and worried. She wanted me to go to the hospital. Jerry said, "Let's wait an hour and see what happens." Then the miconium came out, the water and everything, and she was thinking something was going to be wrong with the baby.

An hour went by and nothing happened. I didn't get further dilated. All I remember was I was starting not to really be there all the way or something. I don't know what it was--you just don't feel like your normal consciousness. You're there, but you're somewhere else, too. All I remember is that it reached a peak where it was the most depressing. The contractions were so intense that I couldn't do the meditation anymore, I had to do the shallow pant blow. I was just about ten centimeters dialted--but not quite. The baby was in a posterior position and I was so tired I just wanted him to come out. She (the midwife) said that since he was in a posterior position it would probably take two hours for pushing. I was totally depressed. I had just given up--I was in despair and Jerry said, "Okay, we'll go to the hospital."

I couldn't see how I could even walk out the door. I just thought it would be impossible. I couldn't even cry, I was so depressed. I just started to communicate with Guru Maharaj Ji. I said as a silent was Ir, "Guru Maharaj Ji, I can't take this and I can't go to the hospital." I swear in five minutes the whole thing had totally reversed. The midwife had come in, picked up the phone, called Dr. Brew, and he just happened to be picking up the phone to make a call. He said, "Don't take her to the hospital. Stay there and I'll come over." At the same time I turned on my side for a contraction and the baby somehow or another flipped over to the right position and started pushing out (a thing Dr. Brew later said was impossible). Everyone was out of the room except for Jerry and I. All of the sudden that urge to push came and I was totally relaxed and I couldn't believe it. I tried not to push because I didn't know what to do, but he was just pushing out anyway and it was really tremendous.

I was so relieved because it seemed I had reached the to devotione hill and was sliding down…I could see Guru Maharaj Ji working through the whole thing. I could see that, maybe this will sound silly, but, the reason why the whole birth happened like it did was just so Dr. Brew would come here to this house and be exposed to satsang. Otherwise he doesn't come to most home deliveries, he has his midwives do it. But this sort of small problem occured so that Dr. Brew could come here and be connected with Maharaj Ji. And when everyone was here it was really beautiful because I heard there was alot of satsang going on. And one of the midwives said to Dr. Brew, "you know why the baby flipped over, don't you? Because she said a prayer to Guru Maharaj Ji."

questions & answers

Guru Maharaj Ji, when will you make us all yours, 100%

You have to develop yourself. You know, you have to be so high that I can catch your hand. At least you should be high enough for me to catch your hand. But I cannot bend down too much, otherwise I come down.

Guru Maharaj Ji, if a devotee wants to give himself 100% to you, must he first of all understand his mind?

Not neccessarily. He can do service and give himself completely. He must just give all his service to Guru Maharaj Ji, then he'll be a 100% devotee. Put all devotion into the service of Guru Maharaj Ji. If I do service then I am a servant and if I am giving devotion then I am a devotee.

Then Guru Maharaj Ji, why is it that sometimes we feel intellectually we want to surrender to you but in practice it is difficult?

Because your ego begins to act on you and something wrong happens. Because of circumstances, the ego becomes an obstacle. That is why I say instead of taking a difficult staircase to liberation, there is a direct staircase so you may go direct. Do not waste all your time, probably taking a wrong road which takes you halfway around the world and which you will probably miss many times. Take the direct staircase of service.

NOTICE

JUST A REMINDER… IN CASE IT SLIPPED YOUR MIND…PLEASE PAY YOUR AMP TO-DATE

NEW DEADLINE …For info to go into the bulletin…please call in your announcements before noon on Monday…thanx…
BABYSITTING …Seena, from the practice, does babysitting as her service. So call her if you need a babysitter. Daytime 652-1100; nightime 770-0485
MAHATMA GURUPUJANAND WILL BE COMING TO WASHINGTON--August 10-15 He will be giving Knowledge… our first visit by a full-fledged Western Mahatma. As of now, Knowledge selection will be on August 11.
Programs and places to be announced next week …
SATSANG NEEDED …Angie and Steve ???? will soon be moving to Sicily, an island in Italy with zero premies. If anyone wants to write them satsang letters, whether you know them or not, you can imagine how much they'd appreciate it. Letters must be addressed exactly this way (Navy rules): Stephen J. ????? AME-1, US NAF General Delivery, FPO New York, New York 09523. (letters only cost 10¢ to send)

CAN YOU HELP? …Brand new painting and home remodeling business (premies) in need of a station wagon, truck, or van. We will buy…call Slattz at 244-5183.

COOP NEEDS PLACE TO MOVE …If you notice a place that might be nice or have any ideas, please call DUO or the coop at 362-7857. GOT TO FIND A PLACE IF THE COOP IS TO CONTINUE…THANX…

NEED OFFICE FURNITURE--We need office furniture of good quality donated…good chairs mostly…call DUO.

TAPES OF '75 GURU PUJA MUSIC …Please call Fuzzbee if you taped music at Guru Puja this year (especially tapes of the band and the band and Monk singing "Milk and Honey" or "Arti"). Fuzzbee's number is 653-0542.

KNOWLEDGE SEMINAR … The Knowledge Seminar started on Saturday the second of August at 5547 29th StreetN.W. at 7:30p.m. There will be five more meetings. If you know anyone who is interested, please have them call Steve ??? at 244-9146.

SO YOUR EYES DON'T DIE OF BOREDOM …Send your artsy stuff to this newsletter so you can look at something besides print. Drawings should be black & white, otherwise we can't use them.

NOTICE: As of Sept. 1st we will be sending the newsletter only to those who have sent in subcriptions. So if you wish to continue recieving the Hidden Light, have subcriptions in before August 30th

May Guru Maharaj Ji bless you at a single moment, and may you stand erect and go.

My blessings are always with you and grace too. So go along, don't be afraid of anything in the world. A man who has got my blessings has nothing to be afraid of in the world. Don't be afraid.

-Guru Maharaj Ji